Your Desire To Hurt The Narcissist Is Only Hurting You

Your Desire To Hurt The Narcissist Is Only Hurting You

Your Desire To Hurt The Narcissist Is Only Hurting You

I have noticed in our community (the community of people abused and hurt by narcissists) that there is a strong desire to hurt the narcissist.

There seems to be from many of us an insatiable desire to get back at the narc and get revenge on the narcissist that has come into our lives.

Now, that is very understandable.

Narcissists, the parasitic beings they are, come into many of our lives and cause so much damage.

It is understandable to want to get back at the narcissist when they have:

  • Caused brain damage to us with their psychological warfare they enacted on us
  • Placed us in financial debt
  • Sabotaged our dreams and goals
  • Lowered our sense of self-esteem (they love to devalue us)
  • Cut our ties with our families and friends
  • Hurt us on all levels

The list can go on.

Narcissists do a lot of nefarious things to many of us. So wanting to hurt them as much as they hurt us is understandable.

But it is also something they want.

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Your Desire To Hurt The Narcissist Is Only Hurting You

You must look at the situation you are currently in and become objective.

Yes, I know…

“Easier said than done.”


So now that we agree let’s at least try and be a bit objective for a second.

Think about how when you see others being wronged, you have the WISDOM to tell them just to walk away and not think about them.

Now, just try and do that for yourself.

It is essential to know that narcissists are kidults. They love playing games.

And the game they love to play the most is “I hit you last.”

What is this game of “I hit you last?”

Allow me to elucidate.

“I Hit You Last! Ha! Ha!”

“I hit you last” is a petty game that I use to play with my younger brother back when I was like eight years old.

Whenever my mom would make us clean up the house, we would always hit each other or brush by each other to get the last hit.

Why did we want the last hit?

To win.

To win what game?

Who knows.

This is the mindset of kids.

Narcissists are kidults. They play these games with us that we aren’t even aware of.

Their attacks on us, to hurt us, are meant to serve as a game that keeps us around them.

They hurt us because they think if we hurt them, they would keep thinking about us.

So, in their myopic understanding of the world and the way the world functions, they believe if they hurt others, they will forever have people thinking about them.

If they get the “last hit” we will keep on chasing after them in their narcissistic fatuous game of tag.

The Best Way To Hurt These Kidults Is To Not Play Their Game

The best way to get back at a narcissistic person who has harmed you and hurt you is to simply…NOT CARE ABOUT THEM.

These people want you to chase after them. They want you to think about them. And they want you to pine after them, even if it is negative.

When we give our time and energy to them, that gives them a high like no other.

Their mindsets are so twisted.

Going No Contact or Ghosting them hurts them on a massive level because it shows them how unimportant they are.

And when you are dealing with people who have the mentality aptitude and cognition of a child, much like a child when not given attention by mommy and daddy, they will lose their bananas.

If you want to hurt a narc LIVE HAPPILY, move on and forget about them.

This hurts them at a massive level.

And the best thing about this is that you heal and become or remain the better person.

5 thoughts on “Your Desire To Hurt The Narcissist Is Only Hurting You

  1. I have No desire to hurt my ex-narc, at all. I do not think that way, and I am glad. I simply do not want him in my life or to be associated with him in any way, shape, or form. Period. I do not wish to feel his Shame, his self hatred and loathing, his void of self esteem, his bitterness, or his denial any longer. I am an Evolved Empath. I have the ability to Feel Others Emotions, both Good and Evil, to a degree that Most would find difficult to Believe. I simply have not mastered the technique of Blocking Out the Evil Ones yet. Therefore, I choose to absence myself from their presence. Without seeking vengeance, Without hate, and without anger. It may be difficult to understand for Most, but it is Who I am. And I am Glad

    1. Are you on Quora?

      The forum is a secret place I have created.

      You need a password to enter into the forum.

      And there are three questions that you have to answer.

  2. Great article. This is something I vacillate on, so it’s nice to read another perspective. It’s a reminder to rise above.
    Part of the dilemma I have is that if I let go of resentment, I can slip into sympathy for my abuser, instead!

  3. BEWARE!!! When the time comes to move on and live your best life sans Narc, make sure you leave no loose ends whatsoever!! Once the Narc realizes that you have left them by the way side, any ties whatsoever will become the reins and they will do everything possible to continue to drive and control you and bring misery to your attempts at happiness- even if they themselves have moved on! I finally escaped my abusive narcissist husband, it took years….I made the mistake of procrastinating on filing for divorce. He’d nearly destroyed me already and it had taken so long to build myself up enough to simply get away. I just couldn’t emotionally handle a divorce and custody war. After learning that he was up to his typical acts of destruction, I had no choice but to return and face the monster once again. Its been nearly 8 months of constant hell dealing with divorcing the POS. The anxiety I’ve suffered since being back makes me feel like I’m right back where I was, like I never escaped. To make matters worse, his girlfriend is mentally unstable and has done nothing but fuel the fire. I kick myself everyday for leaving loose ends and an open door for him. Lesson learned….the hard way as usual! To those of you planning your getaway; BE STRONG! Get out and don’t leave behind anything that would ever give you cause to look back!

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