Why Moving Forward After A Narcissistic Relationship Is So Hard

Moving forward in life can be one of the most difficult things. The past has such a tremendous impact on our waking hour. On our present moment. And even on our dreams. The past…is so damn hard to leave. Thoughts of what we didn’t see, what we allowed, and what we ignored can be torturous. So much so that we start to have a severe HATRED for ourselves. We tell ourselves:

“I should have been smarter.”

“I should have been stronger.”

“Who are they to do that to me?”

“Why did I allow it to go on for so long?”

“I am such an idiot.”

“I…hate…myself.”

I know…how difficult it is…to move on.

Why Letting Go And Moving On Is So Difficult

Imagine this for a second.

A person who is trapped in a lowly pit. In this pit are people who have no desire to move up in life. They have no desire to get out of their small little mudhole of an existence they live in. And more importantly, they have a STRONG DESIRE to keep everyone DOWN with them. Anyone who decides to move up in life and move forward in life are constantly dragged back down. To keep people from moving up and moving forward in life, these sub-human creatures shackle chains and weights to everyone around them. And to add more fuel to this insanity they also break the hands of those who would dare try to move up and forward in life. For those who have a desire to actually get out of the ditch…it is not that easy. They have to worry about the sub-human creatures that are ALWAYS on the lookout for people daring to…LEAVE THEM. They have to worry about the heavy weighted shackles that are on their ankles. And they have to consider the PAIN they will feel from climbing with broken hands that were caused by the attacks of the sub-human creatures. Although they have every bit of desire in them to move up and move on with their life….it just seems very difficult. And you know what? It is difficult. But here is the thing. Once they get out of the ditch…FREEDOM and a BETTER LIFE is waiting.

The Climb

We all have a desire in life to move on. I doubt any of us have a strong desire to stay in a place that only hurts us. As the story above illustrates, and I hope you get the metaphors, moving on in life is not easy when there is SO MUCH holding you back and down in life. And our past is the shackles that keep us weighted down and back in the mudhole pit. But if you can muster that strength to deal with the pain, and you do this by accepting (check out my “100 ways to let go and move on” article), you will be able to start the climb. If you can focus on the up and the forward, you can get past the focus on your weighted shackles holding you down. And if you let your desire to move on in life NOT be known by the sub-human creatures they won’t even know you have left or trying to leave, and you can your live life happily without them. Don’t let them know you are trying to leave.

JUST LEAVE.

Why Moving Forward After A Narcissistic Relationship Is So Hard

In life…we have all been used, manipulated, embarrassed, hurt, lied about, damaged, and beaten. And I promise you…you are not the only one who overlooked the red flags. I promise you, you are not the only one who stayed longer than you should have. And I promise you, you are not the only one who went back. How do I know this? Because I too was a person who stayed in the ditch FAR LONGER than he should have. And I exited it…so I know others can as well. Life can get better; know that. It is because of the hard times that we become stronger and SEEK a better life. If you are still stuck in that ditch, know that the upward climb out of that mudhole ditch will not be easy…but it sure as hell is worth it.

Keep striving and working for a better life because you deserve it.