We Were Naive…Not Stupid! Stop Beating Yourself Up!

We Were Naive…Not Stupid! Stop Beating Yourself Up!

“Evil people rely on the acquiescence of naive good people to allow them to continue with their evil.”― Stuart Aken

Life is a classroom. The people we meet are our teachers. The experience that we have from encountering these people are the test. And how we deal with the encounter is our grade.

Passing or failing…is solely up to us!

Did you learn from the encounter, or did you not learn from the encounter?

That…is how you will be graded!

Hindsight truly is 20/20!

I don’t know about you guys, but nothing tee’d me off more than to go to a classroom and out of NOWHERE, having the class’s teacher say “POP QUIZ.”

Me: “Pop Quiz? On the first day? What’s wrong with you? You blank blank blank blank.”

(Of course, I said all of this in my head)

That used to irk the HELL OUT OF ME!

Being tested out of NOWHERE by someone, I didn’t even know!

Darn, I had some rough teachers in life, but they were some of the best people I ever met in my life in hindsight.

I’ll explain why a little bit later on!

Those of us who have had the unfortunate experience of encountering a narc can feel incredibly foolish, stupid, moronic, idiotic, and asinine (yes, I am aware they are all the same thing — just drilling in on how we feel) for putting up and staying with these people for so long!

They gave us all the red flags, cheats sheets on our desk that, “this is who I am,” and we ignored it!

They showed us the answers on the blackboard of their life, and we overlooked it!

The narcissists even gave us warnings that we will be tested by their insanity “I am not a good person. You are going to leave me,” and we didn’t heed their warnings!

We overlooked SO MUCH.

So much so that we now feel foolish.

We were played!

And the worst thing is that we were played, NOT BY THE NARC…but by ourselves.

We Were Naive…Not Stupid: Let’s Stop Beating Ourselves Up


“Naive people tend to generalize people as—-good, bad, kind, or evil based on their actions. However, even the smartest person in the world is not the wisest or the most spiritual in all matters. We are all flawed. Maybe, you didn’t know a few of these things about Einstein, but it puts the notion of perfection to rest. Perfection doesn’t exist in anyone. Nor does a person’s mistakes make them less valuable to the world.” – Shannon Alder

Children indeed are a precious bundle of everything miraculous!

In a child resides SO MUCH POTENTIALITY — that it is scary and inspiring!

A child resides so much potential that has NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE, and maybe, it will never be seen again!

They truly are everything we will NEVER BE!

And that is a GREAT THING!

But even with all that UNLIMITED potentiality that resides in children — there also lies an abyss of ignorance!

A bottomless pit of ignorance that no matter HOW MUCH WE MAY LEARN…it will never be enough to fill that abyss!

When you look at the time span of a human being’s life, we are children, less than children, less than toddlers. We are all infants to this experience that we call…LIFE!

What are a hundred years when compared to a universe that has been here for BILLIONS OF YEARS?

We are nothing more than an attosecond in the grand scheme of things!

And we go through this experience, through this TEST the best way that we know how!

We Were Naive…Not Stupid: How Do You Pass A Pop Quiz?


Pop Quizzes SUCK!

They can make us feel stupid because we can’t even answer one question. We get caught off guard, and it reveals to us…our ignorance!

But…ignorance and naivete is NOT a bad thing!

All they are is a lack of clarity and understanding. But given enough EXPOSURE over time, it makes us wiser and better.

The funny thing about Pop Quizzes is that as long as you pay attention to what the “teacher” is saying — when they start to “test you” on the subject at hand, you can come prepared!

Pop quizzes, as my teachers use to say, are to keep us alert.

My Teachers: “Don’t come to my class naively, believing you will not be tested. My job is to help you think CRITICALLY! Whether you like it or NOT!”

I had some really great teachers!

I had many Pop Quizzes during high school, but they became less annoying, less frustrating, and less challenging because I became…less naive about the classroom lesson and my teacher’s intentions. I became prepared for these tests; they would spring out of nowhere!

And I would easily pass them!

Life is a classroom. The people we meet are our teachers. The experience that we have from encountering these people are the test. And how we deal with the encounter is our grade.

Narcissists, The Dark Demonic Souls, Are Life’s Pop Quizzes


Narcissists are POP QUIZZES IN LIFE. They are tests in life to make us more alert. They are tests in life to challenge our perception of how we see the world and how we must interact with the world.

Narcissists are tests to reveal to us…our naïveté!

Narc: “Hey! There are some nasty people out there in the world who want to hurt others for NO REASON. And I am one of them! Muhahahahahaahahaha1”

Being an Empath may seem like we are less intelligent because we are so emotional. We overlooked all the red flags that even a BLIND PERSON WOULD HAVE SEEN!

We feel and care about others, even when they show they have no concern for us.

But that is not foolishness.

I say this often and will continue to say it, that to care for someone outside yourself, at the cost of gaining NOTHING FROM THEM…is a gift of the divine!

That is something to be applauded, not hated by ourselves.

On the opposite side of this statement:

The hallmark trait of a stupid person is to cause harm and destruction to others at the cost of them gaining NOTHING and them hurting themselves! (FLYING MONKEYS! D*mn flying monkeys are STUPID AS HELL. “Me am SMRT! I can count too. 1, 2 5, 4! Me am a genius!!!!”)

These nasty people who come into our lives are just tests that life has placed on our desk to teach us something.

Life: “Hey! You are a good person. But you need to get rid of this naive notion that other people out in the world are also good! That is NOT how the world runs, and I must teach you this! It’s going to hurt—but you will learn the lesson, whether you like it or not!”

We Were Naive…Not Stupid: Let’s Stop Beating Ourselves Up


“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.“― Haruki Murakami

I know how you feel.

Stupid for putting up for so long.

Moronic forever loving these dark souls.

Idiotic for letting them use you for so long!

Asinine for not speaking up when you had all the evidence in your face!


I know how you feel!

We go through life, being taught to treat others as we would like to be treated.

And although you may feel like this is a foolish way of thinking, especially after living with a narc for so long.

It is not!

This is an exceptional way of thinking.

Jesus, Buddha, other prophets have echoed these sentiments.

If we are looking at a Bell Curve, we empaths are on the UPRISE OF THE BELL CURVE.

Looking at another person and UNDERSTAND that they are an individual, a HUMAN BEING with their own lives, dreams, and desires — is an ability of intelligent people, reasonable people, and enlightened people.

To think that others around you are here because you are here, and they are just tools for your disposable is genuinely the toddler’s mindset.

A toddler believes the world they know is here for them.

And that is okay — because they have not yet developed the cognitive functionalities of a mature person. They are childishly solipsistic.

Narcissists think this way. They do not grow up — and they live with an inferior mindset and way of thinking!

To assume that a person who is 30+ years old will behave, act, and think like a 30-year-old is not stupid — but it is naive.

It is naive to think that people 30+ years old are all mature as we are.

It is naive to think that a Man who has children will behave like… A MAN!

It is naive to think that a woman who is 30+ years old and has kids will behave and act like…A WOMAN!

It is naive to think that other people in life have dreams and goals that will uplift their lives.

It is naive to believe that people are mature, rational, and reasonable people.

I’t is naive NOT to think that people out there want to hurt people for no reason.

We were naive to think that people were rational, mature, and reasonable adults.

We were naive to think that people can really get over certain things.

W’e were naive to think that the person we were with had good qualities.

We were naive, forever seeing the good in people, hoping that there was good in people!

We were very naive!

But we were not stupid!

So stop beating yourself!

See the hard times they placed you in as lessons and reminders that people like them exist and that you must learn to set up boundaries to keep these people out of your life.

You/ we are not idiots; we were just naive, and naive is a HUMAN TRAIT that we all share.

For in the grand scheme of it all — we are children tossed into a classroom called life to take a test on the first day to which we have NO KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT THE SUBJECT IS!

Life is a classroom. The people we meet are our teachers. The experience that we have from encountering these people are the test. And how we deal with the encounter is our grade.

So tell me… what’s going to be your grade?

Need A Support Group To Meet Up With?

Struggling With C-PTSD?

I often say that living with a narcissist is like living in a war zone! This comparison may very well seem hyperbolic, but research has shown that living around narcissists can have the same effects on a person’s mind as people living in a war zone!

I wrote an article describing the “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With Narcissists“.

These people are monsters, plain and simple.

If you are struggling with emotional flashbacks, dealing with mental and emotional battles that NO ONE but yourself seems to see and feel, and if you find it hard to get out of bed every day, you may be dealing with C-PTSD.

As great as support groups may be, or as profound as articles can be, they are no substitute for professional help. 

Sometimes the best way to heal and move forward is with therapy.

Speaking with someone and getting the hurt off your chest is a great way to unload.

Online Therapy is a site that offers visitors the chance to speak with professional therapists who will be able to help you get through your emotional and psychological battles.

If you sign up with my link, you can get 20% off your first month’s session.

Online Therapy

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