100 Ways To Let Go And Move On With Life After Narcissistic Abuse

100 Ways To Let Go And Move On With Life After Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse hurts us while we are with the narcissist and it can even hurt us long after we have left the narcissist.

Some people have become, so trauma bonded with their narcissists that the idea of going No Contact isn’t even a viable option.

Overwhelming to the point that it causes severe migraines and headaches due to stress.

For many of us, we want nothing more than but to move on with their lives. But the memories of the past are so strong, and the reoccurring nightmares only add more fuel to the fire.

So in this article, I have taken the liberty to outline 100 ways that you can let go of your hurt, your pain, your anger, and your sorrows and move on in life.

Life, no matter how bad the narcissist may have made yours, is a gift. And I am deadset determined to get people to start seeing this.

I know for many, they feel like they want to give up on life.


Just because you had a few dark chapters in your life doesn’t mean you cannot finish your story on a good page. And know this, that all great stories have climatic and devastating chapters in their stories.

Without the bad climatic elements, it wouldn’t be a story worth reading. 😉

Disclaimer: This article includes affiliate links which I may receive a commission for.

NoteGaslighting is a favorite tactic of narcissists to use on their victims. Download my FREE eBook “Am I Being Gaslit” to better understand their sneaky tactics.

100 Ways To Let Go

Let Go Of Anger

1 – Feel That Anger Fully

Quite often, many of us try to keep that anger buried within. We don’t want to let it out. And as a result, what it does is build up. Imagine your rage as soda, and you are the bottle that has been shaken.

Now imagine someone slightly pricking you. Much like a soda bottle that has been shaken and then pricked, it will explode.

Let that anger out now by:

  • Yelling into your pillow
  • Yelling out in nature
  • Squeezing a stress ball
  • Writing your thoughts out
  • Joining a support group to rant (Fell Free To Rant In My Private Forum)

2 – Give Yourself A Rant Space

Joining a support group to just rant is a great way to get what you have off your chest. You have to understand that you are not the only one who has dealt with a narcissistic person in the past.

By joining these groups, you will have people who actually understand the pain and suffering you may be going through.

One of the few things YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO is fight this inner battle alone. Reach out to others who, too, are suffering and learn to be each others hand up in this psychological battlefield!

Reddit offers a support group where you can rant, reach out for opinions, and just let what is eating you away out.

Join here at Narcissistic Abuse

Also, I have a group to which you can also get support. You can let us know what is going on in your life.

You can join here Laughing At Narcs

Stop keeping those negative thoughts inside you. Don’t let them eat away at you.

3 – Remind Yourself that Anger Only Hurts You More Than Your Narcissist

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. - Attributed to many people in history. Click To Tweet

Anger, in the end, only hurts you. Constantly waking up feeling negative instead of positive has a myriad of adverse effects on your physical health, NOT just your emotional health.

Ask yourself is being angry worth (read here about 7 Ways Anger Is Ruining Your Health):

  • Stressing out
  • Developing migraines
  • Putting your heart at risk
  • Ups the chance of you getting a stroke
  • Weakening your immune system
  • Boost your anxiety
  • Leading to depression
  • Causing problem for your lungs
  • Shorten your lifespan

By staying angry at the narcissist, and I am not saying you have to love them, you are only doing the work of the narcissist for them.

You are hurting yourself because of the narcissists. And that is what they want.

4 – Write Out A Letter (But Don’t Deliver It) To Your Narcissist

Abraham Lincoln did something that I really liked. He used to write letters to people he believed had wronged him. He would write it out but never deliver it.

A few days later, he would go back to the letter and read it with fresh eyes. In doing this, he would be able to see the situation from a new perspective.

Being able to see your time with the narcissist with a new perspective will have a monumental impact on your healing process.

By learning to see the time with the narcissist as a time that TAUGHT you more about you and people in the world — instead of just a time where you were hurt — you can move on from that “training” (which I like to call it) and become a better person because of it.

5 – Imagine The Event Playing Out MUCH WORSE (Negative Visualization)

Negative Visualization is:

[The Stoics] recommended that we spend time imagining that we have lost the things we value—that our wife has left us, our car was stolen, or we lost our job. Doing this, the Stoics thought, will make us value our wife, our car, and our job more than we otherwise would. This technique—let us refer to it as negative visualization—was employed by the Stoics at least as far back as Chrysippus. It is, I think, the single most valuable technique in the Stoics’ psychological tool kit. – A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy By William B. Irvine

This is a personal favorite technique of mines. I often think about how things could have gone far worse. I think of them taking so much more from me. Them setting me up for prison time. Them placing me in the hospital or worse.

By thinking of how much worst things COULD have been, it makes me less angry at what actually DID happen.

6 – Use A Stress Ball

Merely squeezing a stress ball can help you let out that anger in the physical world. And all without having to hurt anyone else.

7 – Wear A Rubber Band On Yor Wrist And Snap It Every Time You Get Angry

This is a technique that is catching a lot of flame of late. Place a rubber band on your wrist, and every time you feel yourself entering into a state of anger, pull the rubber band on your wrist and let it snap your wrist.

This is great on so many levels. You train yourself to have better control of your emotions. But the hallmark aspect of this technique is the symbolism.

I have already said that anger only hurts you, and the snap of the rubber band really helps to prove this even more.

Every-time you hate them, you literally are hurting yourself!

8 – Remove Everything That Reminds You Of The Narcissist

Remove EVERYTHING in your life that reminds you of the narcissist. This is plain and simple. Get rid of their:

  • Clothes
  • Pictures
  • Tools
  • Items
  • Block them on Social Media

Remove everything in your life that will remind you of them.

9 – Change Your Environment

There are some people who feel like moving areas or leaving their toxic workplaces, toxic homes, and toxic environments is a sign of running away.

But tell me, would you live in Chernobyl because you thought you couldn’t find someplace better?

Hopefully, the answer is no.

Toxic environments are NO different than Chernobyl. Click To Tweet

So leave those environments for your own sake.

10 – Speak With A Therapist

So many of us have been so conditioned to believe seeing a therapist means we are crazy. The truth of the matter is that NOT seeing a therapist is crazy.

If you had a sore tooth, you would go to the dentists. If you had a pain in your body, you would go to the doctor.

So why not see someone who can help you with the pain in your mind (your thoughts).

Therapists will be able to offer you a new perspective that you may be too blind to see because of the anger you feel.

You know what they say about anger, “it is blinding“.

Sign up to Online-Therapy (this is my affiliate link) to speak with a therapist.

11 – Practice Relaxation Techniques (Look Into Yoga)

There is a reason that yoga is becoming quite popular amongst many people of a different generation.

Yoga is not only great for keeping you limber and in shape, but it is also a great way to help combat anger by helping to bring your awareness into the present.

12 – Exercise

Exercising is a great way to reduce your levels of anger.

Exercises such as:

  • Jump roping
  • Cycling
  • Running
  • Sprinting
  • Group Exercises (Team Sports)

13 – Forgive Them Even If They Haven’t Apologized (Which They Most likely Will Not Do)

“When you choose to forgive those who have hurt you, you take away their power.”- Anonymous

Forgiving them when they haven’t even apologized is NOT for them. It is for us. By forgiving them and not also seeking an apology, you can move on with your life.

The problem with many of us is that we are holding out for an apology that is not ever going to happen.

You can read my full article “Stop Waiting For The Apology” to get a much more in-depth understanding.

14 – Recite Positive Affirmations

The power that words have on our psyche and our reality are greatly overlooked. I want you to think about this for the moment.

How often do you tell yourself:

  • “I hate myself”
  • “I’m an idiot”
  • “I deserve this”

We tell ourselves so many negative things, and as a result, we live and feel a negative life. Read these 25 QUOTES TO UPLIFT YOU AFTER LEAVING YOUR NARCISSIST every day. You will see that positive words can have a significant impact on your life.

15 – Journal Your Thoughts and Feelings

Almost all GREAT people in history journaled their thoughts. The reason you will want to journal your thoughts is to get those negative thoughts out of you. 

But it is also for your healing. By journaling, you start to take control of your thoughts and your feelings. As well as be able to look back at how far you have come.

16 – Become More Self-Aware

Becoming self-aware is critical for your healing process. Simply by knowing that you are falling into a state of anger, you will be able to CATCH YOURSELF.

Most people that you come across in life are not self-aware, and as a result, they fall into ANY emotional state that tugs at them at the current moment!

17 – Laugh

“How strange, thought Perdu, that one laugh can wipe away so much hardship and suffering. A single laugh. And the years flow together and…away.”? Nina George


Laugh at the absurdity. At their irrationality.

Laugh at the immaturity. At the fact that these people NEVER GROW UP.

Laugh at the pain. Because they tried to hurt you, but it only tickles.

Laugh. Laugh so loud and so hard…for your healing.

Because it has been shown that laughter not only eases the pain but can also heal the pain.

Learn more about laughter therapy here.

18 – Take Deep Breathes

Learning how to breathe deeply has been shown to help those who have anger management issues.

Specifical these four Yoga Poses/ Breathing Techniques:

  • Savasana, or Corpse Pose
  • Child’s Pose 
  • Nose breathing
  • Relaxation Breath

Learn more here.

19 – Focus On Your Future

It has been said that we have around 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day. Of these thoughts, 70% of them are negative. And of these thoughts, 90% of these thoughts are the SAME thoughts from yesterday.

This is why it is so hard for people to move on.

They are literally stuck in the past due to their thinking. By learning to focus on the future, by writing out and concentrate on what you want in life, you will be better able to truly move out of the past, which is trying to keep you locked in it.

20 – Help Others Like You

The act of helping others who may have it out worse than you is also a great way to heal. Being altruistic actually has many positive impacts on your mind.

Read the full study about altruism, and it’s effects on our emotional and psychological health here at Helping Others, Warming Yourself: Altruistic Behaviors Increase Warmth Feelings of the Ambient Environment

14 thoughts on “100 Ways To Let Go And Move On With Life After Narcissistic Abuse

  1. Truly Inspiring!OMG, what an outstanding collection of ideas! Bravo, man these hundred things might just save my life!? Once again thank you for your time and efforts. I say to myself every morning you could always be worse, but then I was thinking that’s a lie? I felt like it could be worse, but now with new thoughts and ideas I realize it could have been much much worse? Also it could still be worse so now it’s time to turn the tide and changed my life helping people, as I’ve done before, button much different methods and ways! Thanks for saving a soul today! Once I save my mine I will be extremely motivated to help others oh, but I can’t help anyone until I am truly saved myself! This fabulous forum I feel will truly be life-saving! I cannot even put into words how much I appreciate this your time and efforts are above and beyond the Call of Duty as a human. So much appreciation thank you a million times over!


    Steve D

    1. Man, I appreciate that brother. And I appreciate you.

      Keep fighting — because a brighter tomorrow is just around the corner.

      I struggled for two years with EXTREME DEPRESSION and HATRED and pulled myself up and out.

      And now I want to help others.

      We have to be there for one another. Because narcissists and flying monkeys work together.

      Empaths have to unite.

      Wishing you well.

      And sending love your way.

      1. Hoping I can be as upbeat and positive when I’m brave enough to leave my relationship with a narc

        1. Im with you on that, everytime i think it couldnt possibly get worse then this…sneak attack my narc shows me next level.
          I am trying to prepare myself for no comminication buttt the thought of it kills me

  2. Apologies for grammar mistakes lol. English and grammar have never been my strong points, but science is and I feel a lot of science is in here! Science saves lives! Been proven over the centuries, science has saved Humanity! Now we need the higher power to help. also I pray for the souls that live in this drudgery of Life as a narcissist. For if they truly knew what they were doing, I highly doubt they would continue? They’re ruining lives and unbeknownst to them, they really don’t have a clue I believe? And if they do have a clue and do this purposely every dog has their day! However I do not wish bad things on anyone I’m sure there is a great reason why they are this way, but narcissism is evil in its highest form! Hoping one day I can get my self back? Today I am and I will start my journey blanking all negative thoughts out of my brain! God willing you will allow me!

    Many Thanks again,

    Steve D

    1. “Oh father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

      It’s very true narcissistic people are not as intelligent as they think they are. If only hey had a better understanding of themselves they could see that the life they live is just being wasted.

      I applaud you for not wishing ill will to them. I say the same thing.

      I wish you success and I am routing you on.

      I was where you were at as well.

    2. I am in exactly the same place. After 10 years and 2 kids, he finally discarded me when I’d known 4 a long time that I was compromising my dignity and ‘self’ for this relationship… and I did that for him and his happiness and to keep the idealistic view of a happy family alive for myself and the kids and him… I dont know who I am or what I feel atm… Totally lost… and would really really appreciate any info from any1 that can help kickstart my healing as I’m dying inside (and I’m a very strong person and have always been known as one and was proud that I was so strong) I dont know how I’ve become someone who is or feels soooooo weak… Totally lost.
      TIA for any responses given xxx

  3. I do not feel anger because I know him for what he is and I know he cannot change what he is. I do need to learn to forgive myself for, I too, saw the red flags and I chose to ignore them time and again. Eight years with a man who put me down, criticized me, physically, emotionally and psychologically abused me. And I stayed and, when he kicked me out, I was the one that begged to come back for more. The last discard was almost 4 months ago; its the longest one and it is the last one. He has gone back to a previous discard (no surprise) because he cannot be alone.
    And, honestly, the only thing I feel is HURT. I am one giant ball of walking, talking, breathing hurt. I am like a wounded animal. How does one begin to move past the hurt?

    1. The hurt that you feel is normal. Believe me, you are not the only one who saw the red flags and stayed. You are not the only one who begged to go back to them. And you are not the only one who may feel like they are worthless.

      I say this NOT to devalue what you are going through but to let you know there are others out there like you and there are others who have HEALED.

      How I have healed and how I continue to strengthen myself is through educating myself.

      Do not beat yourself up over what has happened — you thought, at an emotional level, that maybe I can get to him; reach him.

      We are not taught about narcissism. And sadly, most of us never learn about them until only being with them.

      But focusing your time and energy on a topic you love — you can switch your thoughts and feelings.

      This is not hyperbole.

      By focusing your attention on something you love to do you will be able to rewire your brain and thus forget about your narc and move on to live a happier life.

      Rumination will KEEP you in the past.

      I know…I wasted a few good years ruminating and it has only caused me to miss out on SO MUCH.

    2. I am in exactly the same place. After 10 years and 2 kids, he finally discarded me when I’d known 4 a long time that I was compromising my dignity and ‘self’ for this relationship… and I did that for him and his happiness and to keep the idealistic view of a happy family alive for myself and the kids and him… I dont know who I am or what I feel atm… Totally lost… and would really really appreciate any info from any1 that can help kickstart my healing as I’m dying inside (and I’m a very strong person and have always been known as one and was proud that I was so strong) I dont know how I’ve become someone who is or feels soooooo weak… Totally lost.
      TIA for any responses x

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to top