Truth Hurts: You Don’t Want To Move On
Let me brutally honest and get straight to the point. The reason many of you, who have been discarded or have left your narcissist and are still hurting months to years after, is not because of what they did, but what you refuse to do.
What do I mean by this, you may be asking?
It sounds like I am victim-shaming.
And NO, I AM NOT.
What I am doing is quite the opposite.
This is victim obliteration.
Obliterating the concept of us ever being a victim. We are warriors.
To consider you a victim and call you a victim is to make you sound like you are helpless. And when you or anyone else is helpless with life, you become easy prey.
This is a mindset that so many people have. And this is why so many people are stuck in situations, they don’t have to be in.
The reason why you still hurt after all these months and years, crying yourself to sleep every night, no longer be able to be in a committed relationship, taking EVERY DAMN STATEMENT OR COMMENTS to heart (what do you mean by that?) is that you REFUSE to let go and move on.
And this is insanity.
It is like willfully walking in into an insane asylum.
In your symbiotic attached “love” (and I use this word loosely), you have become so dedicated and committed to the insanity that is the narcissist, that you cannot see yourself without them in it.
They have borrowed their insanity into your psyche so deep that the thought of moving on from them literally hurt you.
You feel sick. You feel depressed. Your vibrant, brilliant smile is no longer as hopeful or beautiful as it once was.
CHALLENGE ME ON THIS.
Look at people before and after pictures with a narc on Facebook groups, and you will see a huge difference.
(If you would like to share your story of how you became better AFTER leaving your narc, I would love to hear it and share it with my readers.)
So here is the harsh truth you must listen to.
Truth Hurts: You Don’t Want To Move On
Your hope that maybe they will change and finally wake up and see that you care for them is what is killing you and robbing you of your life and your limited amount of time.
Even worse, you desire to have them take you back and leave the person they left you for.
In your romanticize Hollywood CONDITIONED mind, your fairytale love story can be a reality.
But only if you hold, wait it out a few more months or YEARS (I mean we only have one life, why the hell not waste it, right?), and stay loyal like a dog, the narcissist will then take you back.
Screw self-respect, right?
They will see the errors of their ways.
And you can live happily ever after.
Because these stories exist SO MUCH in FICTIONAL MOVIES, so if it happens in fictional movies, it can happen in real life.
Is This Really The Life You Want Or Deserve
Do you deserve to be someone’s THIRD OR FOURTH CHOICE?
Do you deserve to be mistreated so badly for daring to want to be loved?
Are you so worthless that you would crawl back to the person who threw you aside as garbage?
If you say yes to any of these, ask yourself, “WHERE DO THESE THOUGHTS COME FROM?“
No one is born with a desire to hate who they are.
Think back on your life, what made you so intensely attached to negative people.
I can guarantee you that it is not something innate in you.
Speak with a therapist if you have to, to unravel where these thoughts come from.
Sign up with my affiliate link to get 20% off your first month with Online Therapy.
MOVE ON WITH YOUR ONE LIFE
Who are the narcissists to dare take from you…you?
What do you gain from holding a grudge?
Where is a relationship like that REALLY going to take you?
How can you live positively when all you do is think negatively?
Why do you feel like you need them so much?
Dare to question and ask as many questions as you can, so that you can open up your mind and heart to the reality of a narcissistic relationship.
There is NOTHING to gain from crawling back to these creatures.
Man of you are hurt; months to years after, because you are holding on to this idea, they will change and see the errors of their ways.
And they WON’T.
They will never reform (entirely).
And they will never be that over you want them to be.
In a world littered with billions of humans beings, I can bet you that if you just move on and let these creatures go and remove them out of your heart, you can find love again.
I can bet you if you leave that toxic negative job that you will find a WAY BETTER CAREER.
And I can guarantee you that if you start to love yourself with 10% the love you have for these monsters, that your life will begin to move in a positive direction.
You say you are hurt and don’t know what to do.
What you are saying is, “I am hurt, and I don’t know how to get the person who hurt me back in my life.”
You gain NOTHING from being with these people.
You are hurt not because of them but because of your refusal to see them for what they are and your desire for them to be what they never truly were.
That person you met, in the beginning, was just a facade. They never existed.
Break free from their illusion.
Because you get one chance at this thing called life.
Live life while you can.
No Shame In Therapy
Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology.
In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.
The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger.
When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in.
Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do.
Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.
Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side.