A toxic family can be just as bad as the hooligans you meet on the street. I dare say they may be even worst because of the abuse that goes on behind closed doors.
Toxic family members are a nightmare, especially when there is a hierarchy, meaning they all know who’s the top dog and know who to all get gang up on; which is the family’s black sheep.
I know all too well about having a toxic family and being the black sheep in it.
I had my parents give me the silent treatment as young as six years old and would send in the favorite son to talk via him to me.
All the while hearing me cry in the next room.
I know how it is to be made to feel like you the bad guy your whole life, apologizing over things you didn’t do (which destroys your self-esteem), so the toxic parent doesn’t have to take accountability for their actions.
I know how it feels to have your whole family turn on you in your darkest hours…my own family turned on me and betrayed me in my darkest hour.
It is important to learn how to view toxic families as people out in the street. You must learn to detach yourself from them on an emotional and psychological level.
If you can detach yourself from them on these levels, going No Contact or Small No Contact will not be as hard.
One of the primary reasons we find it hard to detach despite all the stuff they put us through is because of this idea that “they are family, and they are all you got.”
There are many other people out there, friends, lovers, associates who will love you/us and care for us more than a toxic family will EVER LOVE US.
Just because you are blood doesn’t make you family.
There are far too many stories of kids and teens who get addicted to drugs and alcohol at a young age because of their toxic family.
So many of these people grow up with so many psychological issues.
Family is supposed to be a sanctuary, and when you have a toxic family, you are living hell that no one but you can understand.
I walked away ten years ago, and I have GROWN SO VERY MUCH!
It may not be easy to do, and you will feel like you are abandoning them at the moment of leaving, but they abandoned you a long time ago.
Family is about uplifting, not about tearing down.
The world will do that; your family should never do that, though.
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