The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck
“Don’t hope for a life without problems. There’s no such thing. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.” – Mark Manson
I often say that the best thing we can ever do to narcissistic people or just negative people, in general, is to give them no reaction.
Narcissistic people are parasites; this is not a polemical statement, but a truth.
These people NEED ATTENTION like we need air to breathe.
Life, the hard teacher it is, has taught me that whenever I restrain myself from reacting or lashing out at an UNJUST action against me, by the narcs that would come in my life, that would DRIVE THEM INSANE.
Not giving a F*CK is a superpower that we can all learn to cultivate. It is not an easy skill to develop due to the amount of hurt and pain that these nutjobs put many of us through. It is enough to change most people for the worst.
But this is precisely what the narcs want. They have an insatiable desire to change as many people as they can for the worst.
To them, its power.
The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck is a rather crass and “in your face” book that outlines how and why you need NOT give a F*ck about what people think, say, and try to do to you or about you.
The art of not giving a f*ck is not indifference…it is you being indifferent to indifference.
Try wrapping your head around that one.
I often say that we only get one shot at this thing called life. We have only but so many f*cks to give.
Why waste them on trash?
The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck Book Review
Book Chapters and Brief Summaries
There are a total of 9 chapters in this book. But for this review, I will be focusing on just a few chapters.
In chapter 1, “Don’t Try,” Mark Mason writes about how many of us feel like we are not good enough — that we feel that we can never have enough or be enough.
Social media is a GREAT manipulator of this idea. We look at social media, especially after leaving the narc, and see them smiling and having fun with the new supply (and if you are doing this BLOCK THEM ON ALL SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS — you will not heal by looking at their FALSE lives.)
What I love about this chapter is that he mentions how not giving a f*ck; this ideology is not about being indifferent, but as mentioned earlier, giving your f*cks on things that matter.
Think of it this way.
If you had 1 million dollars that could last you for the rest of your life, would you throw that money away on frivolous things? Would you give money to people whom you KNOW will never give it back to you?
Would you spend it on people to love you KNOWING full well they never will?
So too must you see the f*cks that you are giving.
To narcissistic people and negative people, they want you to give a f*ck about them. They want you to be angry, upset, vengeful, spiteful, and hurt when you think about them.
To these people, they need to feel important, and the only way that they can feel significant is by being a thorn in the side of other people.
Pull the thorn out, toss it to the side, patch yourself up, and start focusing on things that make you happy.
When you stop giving a f*ck about the narc, you heal yourself, and you simultaneously destroy the narc as well.
Chapter 4: The Value of Suffering
Pain is just a part of life. It will ALWAYS be here. But suffering, as so many of us are now learning, is a choice.
There are things in life that we must suffer for to grow and develop into a better person. But we must learn what things are WORTH suffering for and over.
Ask yourself, really ask yourself, if the narc you were with is worth suffering and agitating over?
What is it about them that DESERVES your time and energy?
What is it about them that DESERVES your thoughts?
If you take out a pen and paper right now and write all the good things about them and tally them up against all the bad things about them, you will see that they are NOT WORTH SUFFERING OVER.
Once you realize this, you will then start to see that they are not anything.
Know what to suffer over and what not to suffer over, and the pain you feel will slowly start to heal.
Chapter 8: The Importance Of Saying No
This is a personal favorite chapter. Something that I have come to learn with people is that they have this misleading notion that saying “NO” is a sign of being rude.
This is especially true for females. Society (and I am not on this patriarchal society oppressing women, at least, IN THE WEST, nonsense) does condition women to be more agreeable.
It can be argued that women, by nature, are more agreeable than men. And this can be due to just the biological difference between males and females.
Males have 12 to 17 times more testosterone than women, thus making men more prone to be disagreeable.
However, the idea of saying “NO” is a GREAT skill to learn, and it will help to further push you into that “I don’t give a f*ck” mentality.
Narcissistic people hate it when people say “NO” to them. They can say “no” all they want, and they can deny as many people as possible.
But to have someone else do it to them is…BLASPHEMY!
Chapter 9: …And Then You Die
What more significant reason can you have not to give a f*ck what others think, say, or try to do to you, than but this idea that YOU ARE GONNA DIE.
You can spend the remainder of your life focusing on a person who only wants the worst for you (and they NEVER will want the best for you) or you can spend the rest of your life living life on your terms.
I can think of no more significant regret that any of us can ever experience on our deathbed but to look back at that last moment and reflect on how much time we wasted and how many f*cks we gave to people who are so unimportant.
We get one chance at life…ONE CHANCE…and to focus on people who are less than trash (and this is not a polemical or harsh statement) is a regret I would not want to deal with, nor do I think you would.
Give This Book A Read
“The Subtle Art OF Not Giving A F*ck” has a great deal of the f-word, and the writing style is a bit favored into more bro language.
With this said, the book is a GREAT read that offers many insightful passages that makes you stop and question, “why do you give a f*ck what people say or think about you?“
If you are dealing with a narc and their legion of fools and can’t see a way out of it, learn how not to give a f*ck and live life on your terms.
Sometimes NO CONTACT is not always an option.
Learning how not to care what others say, feel, or think about you will do wonders for your self-esteem and your psychology.
Giving in to their insanity has been shown to cause a myriad of health issues.
And you have to really ask yourself…are they worth it?
I hope that you can conclude that they aren’t worth your time or energy.
“Often the only difference between a problem being painful or being powerful is a sense that we chose it, and that we are responsible for it.” – Mark Manson
👇Pick up the book below👇
Struggling With C-PTSD?
I often say that living with a narcissist is like living in a war zone! This comparison may very well seem hyperbolic, but research has shown that living around narcissists can have the same effects on a person’s mind as people living in a war zone!
I wrote an article describing the “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With Narcissists“.
These people are monsters, plain and simple.
If you are struggling with emotional flashbacks, dealing with mental and emotional battles that NO ONE but yourself seems to see and feel, and if you find it hard to get out of bed every day, you may be dealing with C-PTSD.
As great as support groups may be, or as profound as articles can be, they are no substitute for professional help.
Sometimes the best way to heal and move forward is with therapy.
Speaking with someone and getting the hurt off your chest is a great way to unload.
Online Therapy is a site that offers visitors the chance to speak with professional therapists who will be able to help you get through your emotional and psychological battles.
If you sign up with my link, you can get 20% off your first month’s session.