I am a firm believer in the “No Contact” method. This is NOT a punishment, but it is — in every sense of the word…LIBERATION. Narcissistic people cannot see beyond their myopic view of the world. They have no understanding that people are worlds and beings unto themselves.
In a narcissistic person’s mind, people exist for their own pleasure. They will USE YOU. MISTREAT YOU. MANIPULATE YOU. LIE TO YOU. AND DISTORT YOUR REALITY.
And it is because of this that it is incredibly important to leave them. The narcissist has no understanding that people are their own. They cannot fathom that you can have had them in their life at one moment and then be completely happy and FULFILLED without them in your life later on.
To move on after they have HURT you is the greatest HARM that you can do to them.
Because the narcissist feeds on attention and they are stuck in a childish state of thinking that if I do something bad to you, you will always pay attention to me.
Showing them that they can do bad things to you and that you can MOVE ON takes away their perceived power over you.
So let me explain to you why when you go NO CONTACT that you should remain NO CONTACT. NO MATTER what the narcissist says they will do to change, they WILL NOT CHANGE.
Understand this, and this may hurt your hopes and aspirations that they can be better, the truth of the matter is that narcissists DO NOT CHANGE, and if they do show that they have changed, it is nothing more than a ploy to HURT YOU ONCE AGAIN.
Quick Story: The Narcissist WILL NEVER CHANGE
So, I knew a woman who had been a previous relationship with a guy who was a narcissist (narcissist come in all sexes, races, cultures, creeds, and denominations — need to point this out). She found out midway through the relationship what type of guy he was, and she left him.
However, after a month or two, the guy called her back, and he said he had changed. He started acting better. He started talking better. The guy started to be everything she wanted him…to be.
It had appeared to her that her “silent treatment” and just “moving on” really got to him. He really seemed to be a… CHANGED MAN!
But see this is why it is so important to REMAIN WITH NO CONTACT.
After a year of making her happy (A YEAR BEING WITH HER) and taking down her guard and making her fall in love with him again, he revealed to her he had been lying the whole time.
He hadn’t changed — and he wanted her to fall in love with him just so he could dump her for moving on without him.
The Narcissist…DOES NOT CHANGE
What you need to understand is that narcissist – and this isn’t a denigration or me name-calling – is NOT EVOLVED. Narcissists are like animals. Vicious animals that guard and protect their egos at all cost.
This guy had been everything he KNEW she wanted in a man — only to build her up so that he could watch her tumbling and crashing down.
These people…creatures are SO VINDICTIVE. There is no reasoning, no logic, no compromising with them.
Life is not a fairy tale.
And sad as that may sound, people like them are creatures that are dead set on causing as much harm and pain to people because that is the only way they can feel happy or filled.
They are people who just feed on chaos.
If you have gone NO CONTACT listen…LISTEN — these people DO NOT CHANGE.
If you have left them that is the ultimate way to get back at them.
They need attention, and they need it from certain people.
DO NOT BE THEIR SUPPLY.
You Are Valuable — KNOW YOUR WORTH
Know your worth and move on.
If you have any feelings for them still, then I highly recommend that you speak with a therapist. These people will only hurt you because they don’t see you as a human being… but nothing more than an object.
No Contact is the best revenge.
Have A Story?
If you have a story to tell and want to let it out, then reach out me at q/laughingatnarcs