Written by: Anonymous
I gave unconditional love, I boosted his ego, gave him ridiculous amounts of praise, respect, accolades. I made every tiny accomplishment a monumental congratulation. And I took care of his parents, took care of his dying brother. I drove him to work and picked him up (23 miles, 45-70 minutes one way) in traffic, for almost 3 years, because he lost his driving privilege.
Note: I worked seven minutes from our home.
Then after working and driving, I cooked for him, cleaned for him, bailed him out of jail, always made sure birthdays and holidays were a big deal for him and his parents at my expense, buying expensive gifts, dining out, basically I was the perfect woman, or at least I strived to be in every imaginable way.
He told me that I was putting on weight, so I dropped down to a size 4. He said that I was too thin, so I went up sizes until I had his approval.
When he was upset I calmed him down, when he was anxious I would rub him until he was at ease. Or when he needed excitement I would dress in my best and we would go out dancing, drinking, partying. When he needed downtime, he got foot massages, back rubs, and sex whenever he wanted it, however, he wanted it. And when he needed space, I gave it to him without complaining. When he needed attention, I canceled all of my plans and gave it to him.
I lived my life to serve his every desire. I twisted myself inside out to make sure he was happy and comfortable at all times ….
What he did for me, was cheating on me within the first 30 days of us moving in together and never stopped.
Thanks for your narrative and I’m glad you were able to escape from narc abuse. 11 years is a long time to endure it. I’m glad you’re slowly healing, yes, there is life after narcissism.