I regret ignoring the red flags with my ex-narc, and for a while, I felt like an idiot. I felt like an idiot because I saw the signs; I heard the rumors. And I felt the…lies.
But yet…I stayed!
The revelatory, yet blatant, truth was both a liberating experience — as well as a crushing experience.
The liberation freed me from the malignant toxic narcissist’s environment and away from their clutches. But at the same time, it crushed my sense of intelligence.
I beat myself up, saying:
“I should have seen it.”
“Why did I stay when I saw the signs.”
“I should have known…better.”
“I deserve that for being SO STUPID.”
I beat myself up a GREAT DEAL. But none of these statements were fair or accurate.
I was in love…and there is nothing wrong with being in love with someone. That is what it is to be…human.
Sadly, the Narcissists will NEVER love.
There is nothing wrong with giving our heart to someone. And there is nothing wrong with making a “mustake” (I will explain this soon).
Life Is A Constant Lesson
So if you are regretting the time that you spent with your ex-narc, learn to see it as a lesson. And I know that this may sound hard. I know that it may come off as a pipe dream, especially after all the pain that they have put us through.
But in learning to see the “lesson,” and learning to laugh at the experience we went through, it will make who we are that much better.
Diamonds, which we are, are made under pressure. And the time that we spent with the narc was creating us to become something FAR FAR MORE VALUABLE than they could ever imagine.
The Narc Was A “Mustake”
A “mustake” is a mistake that must have had happened to teach us a valuable lesson.
A lesson that would help us become our most excellent versions.
The anger that we feel when we look back at the narcissist, and what they did and took from us is justifiable anger. But in seeing only that experience as a time of pain instead of a lesson — we hurt ourselves even more.
By holding on to that hate (and I am not saying you have to love them), we are only hurting ourselves day after day with the past.
The greatest revenge that we can ever have on the Narc is by living and being happy. By becoming successful in life, we will completely demolish the Narc’s ego.
Because in the Narc’s mind the idea that they can destroy a life gives them pleasure. When we walk away and live our lives happy and do so without them, that kills them inside.
It reveals to them how little control, if any; they have on us.
Stop Regretting You Ignored The Red Flags
I regret ignoring the red flags with my ex-narc, and that only made my life WORSE after being in no contact with them. Once I started to accept that they were nothing more than a “mustake,” lessons for me to learn from, life became so much better.
I became wiser, more confident, and much more prepared for future relationships.
I know it will not be easy, but learn to be less hard on yourself. Because all you did was love.
Need A Community To Join For Emotional Support
Do you need a community of people like yourself who have dealt with narcissists?
If so, consider joining my forum “Empowering Empathic Warriors.“
This is not a place to be coddled. But a place to heal, grow and become stronger.
Also, a forum is NO alternative to professional health.
If you require therapy, then check out my affiliate link here. Sign up here to speak with a professional therapist and get 20% off your first month’s session.
The motto of my forum is, “We have been bent by narcissists but we will never be broken by them.”
Reach out for help and live life on your terms once again.
And lastly, learn how to smile and laugh again.
Because laughter does the SOUL good.