What You Need To Know About Narcissistic Personality Disorder Parent
If you have a parent with a narcissistic personality disorder, it can be a miserable, confusing experience.
When you know what makes your parents tick, it can make your life a little easier.
You will also have a better chance at a happy, healthy life during your adult years.
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Traits Of A Narcissistic Parent
A narcissistic personality disorder parent lives through their children.
When you accomplish something, they will see it as their accomplishment rather than yours.
Narcissistic parents view their kids as extensions of themselves rather than unique human beings.
The narcissistic parent thrives on control. Regardless of your age, they attempt to control every aspect of your life.
From the clothes you wear to the person you marry, you have learned the meaning of interference.
Their need for control affects you more and more as you grow older. They will strongly resist your usual attempts to grow up and be an independent adult.
Narcissistic parents do not acknowledge their adult-aged kids as adults. Whether you are 18, 21, or 40, she will always consider you a child.
Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder use people. Narcissistic parents using their children is not an exception. Whether it is for housework, income, or something else, you are expected to be the source of whatever she wants.
Whether your parent is physically abusive or not, meaning engaging in a variety of emotional abuse tactics.
Gaslighting is one example. Even when you know something happened, you may start to question your memory or perceptions.
The Blame Game
A second example is the blame game.
When they do something wrong, they will blame you or someone else for it. However, blame can extend to situations that did not involve them at all.
If you were bullied in school or at work or mistreated by a friend or partner, they will automatically take the other person’s side over yours.
The other child would not have hit you if you had not started the fight, or your spouse only had an affair because you were not a good partner.
When you have a narcissistic parent, you learn early in life that you can never count on them for emotional support.
Narcissistic parents reject their children. Rejection can come in many forms. They do not support your interests and goals.
Perhaps you are told you do not have what it takes or that whatever matters to you is a waste of time or money.
You are frequently criticized with words and disapproving looks.
They Love To Brag About Themselves
Your parent likes to brag about themselves because they enjoy being the center of attention. Often, though, what they are boasting about is not based on reality.
Perhaps they brag about their artistic abilities, although they have no talent at all.
Or maybe they tell everyone what a great cook they are, but people who have eaten her cooking would disagree.
Lack Of Empathy
The absence of empathy is one of the highlights of a narcissist. When you are sad or frightened over something in your life, they cannot relate to your feelings.
If you express your feelings, they may become hostile and claim you are weak.
Narcissistic parents go to great extremes to create dependency. They may try to convince you that you cannot live without them or cannot make it on your own in the real world.
For kids who grow up with narcissistic parents, this can be a turning point. If you fall for their manipulations and pressure, you may find yourself living with and taking care of them for the rest of her life.
This can be the point when you need to reach out for professional help because even if you manage to move out on your own, their interference is likely to continue.
They Are Very Possessive
Possessiveness is another odd trait shared by narcissists. They do not want your time, attention, and loyalty to be toward anyone other than them.
They look at your friends, dates, and spouse as competition. It is not uncommon for narcissistic parents to sabotage their kids’ relationships.
Monopolizing your time and attention can extend to other parts of your life, too. Perhaps they state you cannot get a job or go to college because they need you at home.
If you enjoy hobbies or activities, you hear your time can be better spent doing things for them. Their goal is for your entire life to revolve around them.
When you have a narcissistic parent, growing up is not a joyful experience. The effects can linger and cause problems in your adult life. Learning about these traits is an essential step in breaking free.
When you know their behavior and how they treat you is not your fault; you are a step closer to freedom.
You can enjoy your life without the self-doubts that often come from having a parent with a narcissistic personality disorder. Your life can indeed be your own!