A Story Of How I Overcame My Narcissistic Abusive Job

A Story Of How I Overcame My Narcissistic Abusive Job

A Story Of How I Overcame My Narcissistic Abusive Job

Written By: N.M

I was a member of a tech product team in a specific company. I earned barely anything a month while working hard, even on my off days, for five years to provide the most top-quality products.

But there is a silver lining at the end of my story. The company that I had worked for was a small startup recently acquired by a giant firm. First of all, I left the company because it was utterly mismanaged, and the company was disrespectful and dismissive of my experience and talents.

It was our job as members of the product team to build the products of the company. We had four engineers; one was more focused on designing slideshows.

Each engineer was maintaining four different projects, every one of which management expected the output of a big team (like four engineers per product). There was little to no overlap between the products either.

We would routinely get pulled off a project to be put on a new project even before not completing the first project. Later, they would get mad that the first project has not been completed, and it’s delayed, and then make us go back to the project and then get angry that the second project has not been done.

Most of the time, they came to us with a huge project, which is approximately 3-6 months long project, and demand that they are done in two weeks. To make matters, worse no one in that company gave any product direction, so the entire thing was filled with assumptions.

Then the business would later come to us saying that the app is unstable, when in fact, most of the time, it was the app behaving in the way it was designed to, and not what the company wanted.

A Story Of How I Overcame My Narcissistic Abusive Job

Narcissistic Abusive Job
Photo by Elijah O’Donnell on Pexels.com

The tech team took charge and tried to give the company some vision. Anytime that happened, we got yelled at and derided, or just plain ignored.

When I first joined the company, I told the CEO that we should institute analytics and figure out how users are using our apps. They were all of it, for all for two seconds. There was no push for the top to implement analytics.

A few months later, the board said the same thing about the analytics, which was my idea, and later there was a colossal push to implement the analytics, and I am was not allowed to be in charge of it.
The company did not believe in me.

I have over six years of tech experience; I built a startup with a more significant user base than the company. And yet, because I was out of college when I joined, I’m a junior developer, not in the title, but treatment. I was continually getting ignored and passed over.

I have deployed more than a few IOS apps, set up several continuous build servers, and am generally more development experience. But I could not touch any of the company’s IOS app deployment, build servers, or AWS account.

Later, they hired an older, less experienced developer. This guy was always getting drunk. And yet because he was older, they treated him as the super senior developer.

A Story Of How I Overcame My Narcissistic Abusive Job

Narcissistic Abusive Job
Photo by energepic.com on Pexels.com

I had to guide him through tasks like how a senior guides a junior, but then he would act like he figured out on his own and talks to me snobbishly. But for some reason, he was the one with the ear to the CEO.

I felt that I deserved a management position. I wanted to grow in my professional capacity, but being babied continuously and given tasks beneath me.

Simultaneously, I managed two projects successfully and treated as an absolute junior is antithetical to me, learning and growing more.

If I am not allowed to grow, then I won’t grow. And top of that, there was no leadership in the tech team. And then they paid me lower than what I should be making. I only joined because they promised me that they would pay me a little more than the market rate after they got acquired.

After the acquisition, I asked for my rise, and they said that they didn’t think I was worth that much. I have gone through a lot of working for this company that I was not supposed to face.

I decided to quit the job and start my job, which is photography. This, I have always had a passion for photography for a long time, but I only did it as a hobby.

Now I do full-time photography, and I earn more than the last job that I was doing in the company. Photography is much more than creating work of arts.

A Story Of How I Overcame My Narcissistic Abusive Job

I noticed that I could make a lot of money with photography without getting employed or even quarreling with employers over work issues. Now, I can manage my passion for photography into a full-time job and kissed the rat race goodbye.

I have always had goals that I desired to achieve in my life, and these goals were related to photography. So, to ultimately reach my dreams, I had to make sacrifices along the way.

There were things that I had to give up to make my dream a reality. I realized that photography is a medium that requires someone to be present at every shot.

When I was hired, I didn’t get enough time to explore photography and teach myself how to take photos. But later, I have quit the job; now, I can do the art of photography full-time without anyone’s supervision.

A Story Of How I Overcame My Narcissistic Abusive Job

Narcissistic Abusive Job
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

First, it was hard for me to rely on photography to generate income, but I decided to take a calculated risk because I have goals to reach. To reach your goals, you have to take risks, which I chose to do.

I borrowed a bank loan and bought essential photography gadgets, including a Speedlight and a softbox. At my home, I kept a small room where I would take pictures for my clients.

At first, I mostly took photos for free to market my portfolio to other people and businesses. I also posted my photos on social media like Facebook and Instagram.

After a year, I started getting clients who wanted to pay for the images. I am now a professional photographer who has taken many photos at weddings and other related events, which has generated me a lot of income.

I am really proud of myself for quitting the job and pursue my passion, which has generated me a lot of income. And I know that it was a weird thing to do, but I do not regret it at all making this decision. I have learned a lot following this path of photography.

Follow your passion, even if it looks like your goals are impossible to reach. Being passionate and confident are the keys to success. I am now happy that I do something that I love, and it also gives me income.

Have A Story To Tell?

If you have a story to tell, feel free to contact me here. Your story of how you escaped can be the blueprint for other people!

Struggling With C-PTSD?

I often say that living with a narcissist is like living in a war zone! This comparison may very well seem hyperbolic, but research has shown that living around narcissists can have the same effects on a person’s mind as people living in a war zone!

I wrote an article describing the “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With Narcissists“.

These people are monsters, plain and simple.

If you are struggling with emotional flashbacks, dealing with mental and emotional battles that NO ONE but yourself seems to see and feel, and if you find it hard to get out of bed every day, you may be dealing with C-PTSD.

As great as support groups may be, or as profound as articles can be, they are no substitute for professional help. 

Sometimes the best way to heal and move forward is with therapy.

Speaking with someone and getting the hurt off your chest is a great way to unload.

Online Therapy is a site that offers visitors the chance to speak with professional therapists who will be able to help you get through your emotional and psychological battles.

If you sign up with my link, you can get 20% off your first month’s session.

Online Therapy

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