The Fate Of Narcissism In Old Age

The Fate Of Narcissism In Old Age

Narcissists NEVER CHANGE. And the fate of narcissism in old age is a fate that is pathetically sad. Narcissists go their whole lives thinking they are the greatest things to walk this planet.

And only realize their mortality in their final waking hours. 

When the curtain of life falls on their Broadway disaster of life there will be no standing ovations. There will be no tear swiping of the eyes because a “great story” ending. And there will be no flower bouquets.

Hell, there may not even be anyone there left to see the curtain falls.

Because like a bad movie, they will lose their audience.

The Aging Narcissist Is Just An Aging Fool

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Let me state this before we begin, Elders DO NOT AUTOMATICALLY DESERVE RESPECT. Respect is earned…not given.

Yet sadly, many of us are taught to give respect to our elders as if senility is a GIVEN at a certain age.

It is NOT.

Old narcissists know this and they use their age to get what they want. And this is clearly evident in certain cultures (to which I will not be posting, as you can do your own research on that).

The old narcissists are some of the most toxic and malignant narcissists you will come across.

And the reason is that narcissists, unlike wine, do not age very well.

They get worse as they age. And the reason for this is because they realize that they are becoming NOTHING IMPORTANT.

It is a saddening realization to know that your life will not be remembered or honored.

That you are becoming what you sought to make everyone else; which is nothing.

The Aging Narcissists Final Day: No Standing Ovation

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Life is a Broadway show, or at least that is how I like to see it. 

Our lives should be a story that inspires others around us. We should be heroes in our story. And on our death bed, we should be applauded for the life that we lived.

Our lives should inspire the next generation to become the very best that they can be.

But for the aging narc, their story is a story to which no one will be present on their curtain fall.

The Aging Narcissists Final Day


I want you to imagine this.

A person in an old person’s home. A narcissist…pick your gender.

This person is in a room by themselves. No family because they used their own family, mistreated them, lied to them, broken them at times and PUSHED THEM away with their narcissistic tendencies.

They have no friends because well, narcs don’t see people as individuals but as pawns and tools. So those who caught wind of their true nature left them and went NO CONTACT.

WENT NO CONTACT. (Just in case you didn’t absorb this the first time)

Their flying monkeys cannot be considered friends because as I mentioned in one of my articles “Flying Monkeys Have No Minds Of Their Own” they are just an extension of the narc. They cannot do anything to comfort the narc.

The narc is now by themselves, which they were terrified of their whole lives. They have NO ONE by their side.

They are scared, timid, and now realizing they WASTED THEIR WHOLE LIVES.

Their curtain of life falls and there isn’t even a peal of laughter, a snide comment, or a whimper.


Because they became unimportant.

Our Lives Should Welcome A Standing Ovation


For many out there who have been hurt by a narc — all they wish and want is to get revenge. They scheme about it, dream about it and may even conspiring about it with someone.

But know this…narcs do not get better with age.

And every day that you waste thinking about the narc is a day wasted. Click To Tweet

Know that this is how most Narc’s lives end. They end with NO ONE being there by their side.

This is why so many of us who have gone No Contact and have left the narc Champion the idea of NO CONTACT.

It is the best revenge because we give the narc something they fear; which is being alone.

We should see our lives as if we are on a stage for the whole world to see. And we should tell a story of how we overcame the narc to become something, and someone… better.

Because when our curtain of life falls on us…we should be remembered for the person we are. We should be applauded for the story we lived. And we should have a bouquet of flowers thrown on our stage of life for inspiring the next generation.

Narcissists will never understand this until it is too late. But for us, regular people, we should take this to heart.

Let your story of hurt be a source of strength for you and an inspiration for the coming generation.


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30 thoughts on “The Fate Of Narcissism In Old Age

  1. I can not wait for this day to happen to my ex. He manipulated me took me away from my family and lost all confidence in myself. He cheated on me with 4 or maybe more women. I know its going to take a long time to heal but i will get there hopefully.

    1. Yes…it will take some time but you CAN heal. My heart goes out to you. Narcs destroy sooooo many lives. I know. I have had to deal with them so much in my life.

      But…just try and focus on a better life. One day after another.

      In one of my previous article “LONG-TERM NARCISSISTIC ABUSE CAN CAUSE BRAIN DAMAGE” =>

      I walk about the damage that narcs do to use mental and psychologically but I also show how you can heal and repair your brain.

      Meditation and you may not want to hear this because it may sound simple and easy, is a GREAT way to heal. In research studies, it has been shown that meditating for 8 weeks repairs the brain and helps people heal much quicker from trauma.

      One day at a time. One day at a time.

      You can do it.

      Just take it…one day at a time.

      Warm wishes to you on your healing journey.

  2. Can’t wait to order your book. My mother in law is exactly this. Anaging narcissist who’s only friend is her daughter the drug addict Narc. My husband finally sees what damage she has cause him and his daughter and to me but I’m stronger than him I’ve dealt with so much in my own life that
    I saw right thru her from the word go. Now it’s time to help him heal and continue on our beautiful journey with our 3 children thank you


      That is what we should all strive to do. To help those who have been hurt by a narcissist.

      I also often times say it is the hard things in life that make us wise and strong. You were able to see THROUGH her mask because you may have dealt with a narcissist before.

      Wishing you the best in helping your family to heal.

      It is possible.

      And the book will be out but what to make sure I do my due diligence in research. 😉

  3. I am in the midst of watching my exN spiral downwards. In a way it’s somewhat satisfying but like you’d written it’s much more, Pathetically sad. “No Contact” hasn’t really been feasible for me to do as we share custody of our 3 young children; the youngest being ten years old. However, I never~ever respond to any messages or contacts from him not involving the kids. Even with my daily meditation practice, I still feel myself getting angry because of absolutely ruining our kids’ childhoods and his stealing, lies and emotional violence towards me. The anger & bitterness I have could just burn me up if I let it. Meditation is definitely an ongoing Practice!

    1. Oh yes, meditation will take some time but it is worth it.

      And the anger and bitterness are normal.

      Sometimes even now I find myself getting angry as well as what the narc did to me.

      But I keep reminding myself that is what they want.

      If No Contact is a no-go (all the way)…try this method call Grey Rocking.

  4. My narc has brainwashed our 4 daughters so that they went NO CONTACT with me. I became healthy again after divorce and leaving him, after 20 years of exhaustion. I became a new human being and I am very happy. Just one thing is really heavy to care: I miss my 4 daughters, who vorbidden me to see my 5 grandchildren. I wrote letters with the whole truth, without being rude, just telling daddy is ill etc…but no reaction. When does his mask will fall? Will I have to wait for years or is it gonna happen in the next future?

  5. I have been reading the narcissism comments with great interest. The discussion is riddled with hatred, desire for notoriety, and vengeance, and a sincere desire to hurt people (namely the narcissists). But isnt that the very definition of narcissism. Has anyone suggested tolerance, moderation, kindness and turning the other cheek?

    1. I think it is natural for people to want to have some type of payback for the time they lost, the hurt and the pain that they experienced, and the life that may have been ruined.

      Now, if you have read any of my articles, and even this article, I DON’T ADVOCATE REVENGE. I am merely stating what happens to most narcissists.

      You say that we should be tolerant and turn the other cheek.

      What would you call NO CONTACT?

      Just because we forgive them DOESN’T MEAN we need to let them back into our life.

      I don’t think that is a bad thing when I am rooting people on to MOVE ON WITH THEIR LIFE to be happy instead of RUMINATING ON THE WRONGS THEIR NARCS HAVE DONE TO THEM.

      Forgiveness and kindness doesn’t mean we need to be punching bags for the narcissist.

      And if you believe so, then I think you may very well be an enabler.

    2. The comments are riddled with pain. It’s been judgemental comments from voices of ‘moderation’ that punish an already undeservedly punished individual, that have added years to the healing process.

    3. It is normal to have hate for someone who violated and maliciously abused you in the worst possible way, after they gained your trust by the most insidiously devious means. For me it was the experience of being touched by true evil.
      “Turn the other cheek” mentality is emotional puffery, vanity, trying to prove how ‘spiritually evolved’ you are, and dishonest at best. Does God turn the other cheek to the devil?

      I am being the better person by just staying no contact and not blowing his head off with a shotgun.

  6. narcs have friends. not everyone hates them.
    they can actually be nice and even helpful to
    those who pose no threat or they see as a positive
    addition to their lives
    this seems sooo black and white, nothing is ever
    black and white

    1. That is your perception of the article being black and white. Honestly seeing what you have written sounds like you may be an enabler.

      Of course, a narcissist will not treat someone who is NOT A THREAT TO THEIR EGOS kindly.

      Why, because these people usually are enablers are flying monkeys.

      And you are 100% correct that they can be NICE.

      So what?

      So can a pedophile be nice to a kid.
      So can murder be nice to one of their victims.
      So can a person who is trying to set someone up.

      Nice and GOOD are NOT SYNONYMOUS.

      Kindly look up the etymology behind the words and you will see I am right.

      Thanks for the comment.

  7. I have a daughter that used me and used me. I was an enabler, I will admit, she was my daughter after all. She came from a loving family, but all she can say is how we all did her wrong. After my husband died, she shed no tears, and was so totally out of control, no one could deal with her, she was not the center of attention. Some weeks after her father’s funeral, she decided it was time to destroy me, but you know what, I am smarter then that. As a result of all the accusations and threats, I turned my back on her. Yes she is my daughter but I do not like the person she has become, and the abuse she doles out to me, her brother and even her 2 grown daughters. I am done and have been, my life is peaceful and I am surrounded by people who really love me! There are now months that I don’t even think about her. I just pray that her husband can continue to care for her,she has no one who cares anymore.

  8. To finally understand how my narcissistic ex-wife influenced my life and those around me. It actually helped me in understanding my self. Those things that she tried to hurt me with post marriage just exposed who she really is, just shows what a pathetic person she is. I feel sorry for her but have no compassion for her. Does that make sense? She can never have the loving relationship with her current husband that others have accomplished. She has an emotional bond with many of her past sexual partners. So she can never give herself fully to her husband. Never to embrace fully a loving relationship To understand her gives me strength and to realize it wasn’t me at all. No pain here. I felt I needed to expose her to the world. But that is not possible. She is still sick. My approach is nonaggression and minimal contact. Let her believe what she wants As she ages her many personal goals were never met and time is running out.

  9. I absolutely LOVE your blogs!! They give me life and freedom to feel and know that this IS something real. Narcissism truly does exist!! So many people have tried to shame me and victim blame me of what I’ve gone through with my narcissistic mother and just recently is when I chose to go NO CONTACT with her. Unfortunately I have to do it with my siblings as well because they are the “flying monkeys” in her malicious game. I have lived my entire life with her breathing down my neck trying to control everything I do. She emotionally, psychologically, and physically abused me as a kid growing up. I am Latina and I can assure you this goes on a lot in our culture as well. Thanks a lot for sharing this article! Everytime I read your blogs it leaves me with a great feeling of strength and that I am not alone walking through this journey. You should really consider doing a podcast maybe . Thanks so much!!💕

    1. Hello! Thank you for your comment. Yes, some of my readers have suggested that I do a podcast as well. I think I might do that! Thank you so much and I am glad my articles can help you out!

  10. I think I was in a relationship with a narcissist. He is also OCD. He is also a business owner and used to telling ppl around him to do things for him. I found myself doing and doing for him. Helping him so he wouldn’t flip out and because I wanted him to be happy. He suddenly breaks it off or better yet goes silent on me after I told him I had to go into work one evening after I had promised to help him clean his house since he was again changing out his 5th cleaning lady in a years time. I week before he became irate when I went to get my hair done in preparation for a wedding and left 4 mugs and a knife soaking in the sink. Yelled at me. Said I was never wanting to help around the house. Which wasn’t the case. We also never had sex. I’m just confused.

  11. I am the victim of a narc as well as a psychopath. I loved and trusted people who abused me. Now i am old and alone, trust nobody and see my life as wasted because of all the pain i have had to process. I will not get a standing ovation, nobody will remember me…because, i have spent so much time just trying to recover from the abuse. I am not a narc, but like a narc, i too am destined for a pathetic end.

  12. Many people who are not narc, die alone. Is the purpose of life to feel accomplished and have a standing ovation at the end of it? From my perspective living life is about learning the lessons. If you have been abused, sometimes a successful life is simply staying by yourself . Alone and friendless. People are basically corrupt and selfish by nature. Thats my take on things. Good people do bad things too. Learn your lessons and if you gotta die alone, don’t beat yourself up about it.

  13. Yes best to laugh at them, once the pain gets easier. I guess I am puzzled by the lingering anger which is now a lot less. I am very forgiving person, and also not in favour of laughing at sick people, as it’s not entirely their fault. I am a therapist so listening and helping people is what I do. Not judging and holding grudges, but at the moment I haven’t got much understanding and compassion towards my ex. It could be it’s still too early (3mths). Basically, I threatened to report him for his abusive behaviour, questioning his integrity as he works with children, he then kicked me and my son out of his house, where we lived for 6mths. He then went on to become my son’s father my ex ex best friend to gaslight me and make excuses for himself, basically on the mission to ruin our relationship as a parents of 10 ur old boy. Also lying and manipulating so me and my son’s dad not end up back together and make him look like an idiot. I am on NO Contact 5 weeks, and yes the worse is over but I wonder when does the anger/resentment fade away? I do wish him all the luck, cause yeah he will need it. They truly are funny and entertaining once the healing is going well.

  14. Mary,

    Your life is not a waste even if you say you are old, alone, and friendless. Most humans will get old but some will die well before. Alone and friendless? If your choice was to remain single, so be it. If you can count on one hand the number of people who will be there for you when you most need them, you are blessed. Everyone’s definition of success is different. To me a successful life is to be of service to others. When you help someone else, you find purpose, joy, and, perhaps, an acquaintance, if not a friend. People can be corrupt and selfish but they can also be so many other wonderful things. This world needs you just as much as it needs anyone else. Reach out to others, in any way you can, so that you can start feeling more fulfilled,

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