It Is Not You, It Is The World That Is Crazy
“It is naively assumed that the fact that the majority of people share certain ideas or feelings proves the validity of these ideas and feelings. Nothing is further from the truth. Consensual validation as such has no bearing on reason or mental health. Just as there is a “folie a deux” there is a folie a millions. The fact that millions of people share the same vices does not make these vices virtues, the fact that they share so many errors does not make the errors to be truths, and the fact that millions of people share the same forms of mental pathology does not make these people sane.”
― Erich Fromm, The Sane Society
I was talking to a friend of mines about relationships and I had open up to her about how often I get in relationships with people — and despite me doing everything they want, or what appears to me as if I am doing everything they want, I would still be the bad guy.
I often found myself questioning:
What did I say?
What did I do?
Why are they mad at me?
How can I fix this?
Why am I always messing up?
I thought I was crazy for a long time and that maybe I really did do things they said I did.
This was before I had heard of gaslighting and narcissism.
However, I recall one day, after another bad argument with this person that I typed in Google “How do I know I am not crazy?“
And for some reason, I saw a link to an article titled “The Sane Society“.
I clicked on this link and I read an article (I no longer know the link) that talked about this book called “The Sane Society” and talked about this German psychoanalyst Eric Fromm.
After reading the article and then reading the book, I was simply blown away.
Because it had really reaffirmed what I had thought about people and the world.
And it was this.
I am not the crazy one…IT’S THE WORLD THAT IS CRAZY.
It Is Not You, It Is The World That Is Crazy
“We consume, as we produce, without any concrete relatedness to the objects with which we deal; We live in a world of things, and our only connection with them is that we know how to manipulate or to consume them.”― Erich Fromm, Sane Society
I had this thought, and I think many of you can relate, that maybe it was me who was doing negative things to my partners.
Maybe I was yelling when I was talking to them.
Maybe I was throwing stuff at them when they asked for something.
And maybe I was really to blame for ALL the arguments. I guess I started all of them by NOT saying anything.
After reading this book, “The Sane Society,” I started to realize that people are insane and that many people want to control the world around them.
Some fear that if they are not in control that someone or something will control them. Others because they have an insatiable desire to control and manipulate the world around them.
Narcissistic people and people with other mental disorders are NOT A RARITY.
Why People Try And Make Me/ Us Feel Alone
“Indeed the alienated person finds it almost impossible to remain by himself because he is seized by the panic of experiencing nothingness.”― Erich Fromm
I would notice that after breakups, the smear campaigns and the gossiping would start. And it would always be the same thing.
Note: Narcsissitic people are like animals (They occupy out of their reptilian mind). They all repeat the same patterns. Once you understand what you are dealing with, defeating them become s a heck of a lot easier.
Narcissistic people are scared to be alone. This is why they always try and gaslight people into believing they need the narcissist, or that they are the ones who are crazy about they leave.
They are kidults who never grow up. They are the small child who is scared to be alone and cries, yells, and breaks down the moment they are left.
Because narcs think this way, they believe others think and feel this way.
Fortunately for me, I am a stoic as well as an introvert, and moving on from people is not that difficult for me, especially when I know that I did not do the person wrong.
As I read and started to think back on my relationship and the smear campaigns, I began to realize it is nothing more than a twisted version of them, saying, “DON’T LEAVE ME.”
To which, I must say I did and never looked back.
Most People Will Never Change Who They Are Because Of Their Environment: Moving On Is The ONLY Option
“Mental health cannot be defined in terms of the “adjustment” of the individual to his society, but, on the other hand, that it must be defined in terms of the society to the needs of man, of its role in furthering or hindering the development of mental health. Whether or not the individual is healthy, is primarily not an individual matter, but depends on the structure of his society.” ― Erich Fromm, The Sane Society
Me moving on and accepting that MOST PEOPLE IN LIFE ARE MENTALLY DISTURBED, it became much easier for me to move on.
It is the only option when you are dealing with certain people.
Now, I do know that some narcs can change.
NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT USE THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO WASTE YOUR ONE LIF TRYING TO CHANGE THEM. YOU WILL WASTE IT.
But in understanding that mentally disturbed people rarely ever question themselves or their perception, I started to realize how much time I would waste trying to keep this relationship alive.
Sometimes the best thing to do is to simply…walk away.
Choose Your Sanity and Self Over The Insane Masses
“As long as we can think of other alternatives, we are not lost; as long as we can consult together and plan together, we can hope. But, indeed, the shadows are lengthening; the voices of insanity are becoming louder. We are in reach of achieving a state of humanity which corresponds to the vision of our great teachers; yet we are in danger of the destruction of all civilization, or of robotization. A small tribe was told thousands of years ago: “I put before you life and death, blessing and curse — and you chose life.” This is our choice too.”― Erich Fromm, The Sane Society
The world is insane.
People are sinking into the sea of insanity, and you have two options. You can sink with the rest of the world into this sea.
You can swim away and get on the small boat of rationality and reason.
You may have to drift alone for . while until you come in contact with other rationality lifeboats.
But that is much more preferable than drowning in the sea of insanity with others.
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