How To Break Trauma Bond With Narcissist

How To Break Trauma Bond With Narcissist

Understanding what trauma bond is essential in dealing with it properly and separating it successfully from a narcissist. A trauma bond happens when you become attached to someone who mistreats and abuses you.

The person may fail to come through on their promises and may regularly indulge in destructive behavior that also affects you. Yet, you feel a sense of loyalty, especially if you’re in a relationship with them.

Trauma bonds can be with family (having narcissistic parents), “friend” (note the quotations), or lovers.

Breaking the trauma bond is very difficult, but it is necessary. 

Narcissists are known to gain their victims’ attachment by exposing them to consistent trauma and abuse, making it harder for them to leave.

This push and pull tactic can do wonders on not only your emotional well-being but your mental well-being as well.

How To Break Trauma Bond With Narcissist

Breaking the bond

The first step to breaking trauma bond narcissist connection is by acknowledging the bond even exists. With that realization, you’ll determine the various ways it is affecting you, and it will be easier to face reality and break the pattern of abuse. 

After accepting that you have trauma bonding, you can accept that it’s not your fault and that you are the victim of narcissistic behavior.

Accept you accept this fact that you don’t deserve that kind of treatment — regardless of what everyone else might say — your healing can begin.

Through this you will realize that the best option is to leave the relationship and start over; or in other words, go NO CONTACT!

Your next step towards healing is adjusting to your new reality. Sometimes, it is hard to accept the abuse you experience, but you can do so by documenting all the bad things the perpetrator has put you through. 

You can ask questions like “how long the behavior has been happening” to help you gain clarity. Ask “what you would like your partner to do differently” and “how it is different from your other relationships?”


Trauma bond definitions can differ with every person, but the signs are usually the same. Some of the signs include other people being disturbed by the situation even if you’re not feeling stuck and helpless in the situation, being involved in the same repetitive behavior, and inability to detach from the abuser.

You know they are not treating you right, but you still feel attached to them.

No Shame In Therapy

Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology. In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.

The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger. 

When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in. 

Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do. 

Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.

Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side. 

About Author

I call myself the Rational Humorist. Narcs to me are cancer to humanity. The only way to beat cancer is to fight back against it.

The best way to defeat a narc is to see them as the jokes they are.

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