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Love Yourself, In The Same Way, You Want The Narc To Love You

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Love Yourself, In The Same Way, You Want The Narc To Love You

“Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you. What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.”― C. JoyBell C.

It feels good to love someone and to have them love you right back. Affectionate and/or Romantic love is considered by many to be the best experience of most people’s lives.

It is a fantastic feeling to have someone think of you in such high and caring esteem.

And, at times, I think it is for this reason that so many of us, who have fallen in love with a narcissist, ignore so many red flags.

It is our desire to be loved, and to be in a happy Hollywood-esque fairytale relationship that causes us to waste so much of our lives.

Now, before you get offended or feel I am bashing relationships…I AM NOT.

Relationships are an excellent experience that brings two people together to grow, mature, improve, and become their most refined version.

Relationships are wonderful.

Love is wonderful.

However, the love that should always be the most important and SHOULD come first and foremost in your life is the love you have for yourself.

Love yourself, in the same way, that you want the narc to love you.

Love Yourself, In The Same Way, You Want The Narc To Love You

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Self-love is the MOST POWERFUL love on this planet.

Why?

Because the “love” that you get from others can always be taken away!

ALWAYS!!!!

And, now, I can hear some of you saying, “If someone really and truly loved you, their love would last for a lifetime.”

We know this is false.

Just look at the narc who said they would love you forever, through sickness and health.

The reason you have become sick and unhealthy is because of THEM!

Now, we also know that even if someone truly loves you and only wants the best for you, there is this thing called…DEATH, that will take that love away.

Either by taking you away or the person you love away.

Either way, love outside yourself is NOT IN YOUR CONTROL.

Self-love, even at your last moment, is a love that you have 100% control over.

Why You Need To Focus On Loving Yourself

There are many benefits to loving yourself:

  • Rejection Is Not As Damaging – Think about the discarding stage. When the narc discarded you, how did you feel? Like crap. You felt worthless. And you felt worthless because they TOOK their love away from you.
  • You Embrace Hard Times – Self-love gives you the STRENGTH to embrace and endure the hard times that will INEVITABLE come into your life. Waiting on someone to love you to the point that they will protect you, will ROB YOU of a happy and successful life.
  • You Don’t Waste Your Time On People Who Don’t Treat You With Respect – a massive issue with many people who fall in love with narcs is that they give so much of their time wasting it on the narc trying to get them to love them. They waste a lot of time trying to convince flying monkeys and onlookers that what the narc is saying is NOT true. When you have self-love, you also have self-respect, which enables you not to convince people WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
  • You Are Less Judgmental – Because you focus so much on improving yourself, you don’t care about how others live their lives.
  • You Know Who YOU Are and Want To Become – Self-love helps you to know who you are, which in turn gives you the strength to become the best version of yourself. The greatest achievement in life is to be who you were sent on this earth to become. Finding your DESTINY is the greatest achievement.

Things You Can Start Doing To Increase Your Self Love

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Start writing out ALL the things you wish your narc would have done for you. Start writing out all the things, on a sticky note, of all the things you wish they would have said to you.

Consider taking yourself out to that nice restaurant, beach resort, city, or show.

Treat yourself in a way that you want the narc and others to treat you.

This is so important because a person who has self-love and self-respect exudes a certain aura about them that will subconsciously demand respect from others.

People, for the most part, treat you in the way that you treat yourself.

No one has love or respect for a person who has no love for themselves.

By becoming a person who can stand alone, you will start to see how many people will begin to be drawn to you.

Many people have a lack of self-love for themselves.

This is OBVIOUS with the narc.

The mistreatment, the lies, the cheating, the gaslighting, the projecting, and the insecurities are all signs of a person who has a massive amount of self-hatred.

This is why they do everything in their power to make you think YOU are NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

If they can convince YOU that YOU are the problem, then you will stay with them.

Their whole purpose is to strip any semblance of self-love from you.

Because once the self-love is gone…then that is when they can start to control you.

Love Yourself, In The Same Way, You Want The Narc To Love You

You weren’t a fool for loving the narc…you were just sorely mistaken. The cure to you moving forward in life and forgetting the narc, is to develop self-love.

Love yourself, in the same way; you want the narc to love you!

By moving on, the narc will have no alternative other than but to tear everyone else around them, including the flying monkeys, or themselves.

Self-implosion is NOT uncommon with these people.

They will never learn what self-love is.

They will never know what love is.

And that is okay!

We can love.

And with this ability, we also can develop self-love.

“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”― C. JoyBell C.

About Author

I call myself the Rational Humorist. Narcs to me are cancer to humanity. The only way to beat cancer is to fight back against it.

The best way to defeat a narc is to see them as the jokes they are.

(2) Comments

  1. I think back to the moment of the Grand Betrayal moment where my Covert Narc boss went Overt and proved his evil, where he destroyed my trust by protecting a bully. And even before that when he tried to shame me and blame me for being backstabbed by him the day before with what can only be described as his sick twisted pedophile face with dilated pupils. And because I didn’t have much self-love, it did hurt me. Someone I thought was a good person was really an Egopath Monster, and the feeling of betrayal ran deep in me. It did damage my self-confidence, self-respect, and even self-love. Had I embraced my individuality more, I would have had far more self-love and I would not have latter fallen into the trap of trying to convince my PURE EVIL BOSS that I was being illegally spied on, and would have prevented further betrayal from the boss and landed the bully in prison, effectively removing him from my life.

    I see now I did not have enough self-love back then. I was plenty happy but my self-love was fragile. A weakness the predator found and preyed upon.

    Yes, I have developed my self-love to be unconquerable now. I truly make a conscious effort every day to love myself, to find ways to love myself.

    Embracing my individuality means prioritizing myself, it has made my self-love untouchable to others. Which is exactly what self-love needs to be. By the self, for the self.

    1. “By the self, for the self.”

      BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

      I love that!

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