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You Have The Right To Set Boundaries

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You Have The Right To Set Boundaries

A few days ago, I posted a post in Quora on how setting boundaries with ALL PEOPLE, strangers, co-workers, associates, friends, and even family is necessary for living a happy life.

I had written how I have 7 QUALITIES to which I look for in people for them to be a PERMENANET PERSON IN MY LIFE.

4 Qualities allow for that person to be an associate.

5 Qualities allow for that person to be a friend.

6 Qualities allow for that person to be a LOVER.

Surprisingly, I got many comments that said that my take on setting boundaries was shallow and narcissistic.

To many people, they viewed this as snobbish.

Who am I to say who is valuable or not.

It became evident to me that they felt offended, which is silly to me.

I wholeheartedly believe that in setting boundaries, you weed out all the crap people in your life and leave room for only the better.

And I think for many of us who have been in a narcissistic relationship they can understand.

Many of us have been TOO OPEN in allowing anyone who gives us the time of day to come right into our lives.

And narcissistic people come into our lives with their dirty boots on leaving a mess of our lives.

If you are considering setting up boundaries…DO IT.

There are many benefits that one can gain from setting up boundaries.

And here are just a few benefits…

You Have The Right To Set Boundaries

Self-Respect

What many of LOSE after being with a narc is self-respect. We beat ourselves up, thinking:

How could I have been so blind?

How could I have been so stupid?

Why did I ignore the red flags?

Why did I put up with the nonsense for so long?

What a loser and idiot I am.

We are very harsh on ourselves, and this only serves the narc. By beating ourselves up, we do the job of the narc for them.

It is not uncommon for many people to become either broken or hostile.

Meaning, some people become completely broken and become what the narc wants, which is a mess of a person (i.e. Broken Empaths)

Or some people become hostile, lashing out at everyone perceiving them a threat.

The objective of setting up boundaries is to keep negative people from entering into your life again, but it also has a secondary reason.

By setting up boundaries, you show the narc and yourself that you will not be PHASED by what the narc did.

By knowing what it is you want in a person, you will be more likely to attract these people and avoid the negative ones.

Just KNOWING what you want makes it a heck of a lot easier actually to find that person.

You Live A More Peaceful Life

visa, approved, journey

There are always going to be a-holes in the world.

ALWAYS!

Consider yourself as a nation.

With certain people, they will need visas or permits to enter the nations.

Others don’t need it because they are a citizen of your mind and heart. So they come and leave freely.

With people, you have to have these boundaries up because they serve as border patrol.

Just like nations don’t want foreigners coming into the land selling illegal substances and weapons…so too, must we be with your life.

Don’t allow any Sue, Jack, or Weinstein to enter your life.

Be STRICT with who you allow into your nation of self.

Be unapologetic about this.

You Give Yourself Time To Heal and Remain Healed

To continue with the nation analogy, imagine a nation that was constantly bombarded with war.

Would that nation be able to set up schools, hospitals, banks, homes, shelter, and many other places of service for the country?

NO!

So to, must we be with allowing certain people into our nation of self.
Not everyone comes peacefully.

There are many MANY people out there who seek only to cause chaos and war.

Defend and protect your nation of self…because you more than anyone else is deserving of a happy and stress-free life as possible.

You Have The Right To Set Boundaries

I am a firm believer that for us to heal entirely that we must be stern with the idea of setting up boundaries.

NO ONE has the right to come into our lives and destroy it because they had a bad childhood.

WE DID NOT CAUSE IT…so why must we suffer as a result of it.

You, more than anyone, are deserving of a happy, peaceful, and loving life.

And if you have to block MILLIONS of negative people and only have a hundred good people… then do so.

I think those are great numbers.

Better 100 good, reliable, honest, rational, and honorable people than millions of negative ciphers.

We have the right to set up boundaries and to hell with anyone who tries and convinces us otherwise.

Set up your boundaries and live life on YOUR TERMS!

Struggling With C-PTSD?

I often say that living with a narcissist is like living in a war zone! This comparison may very well seem hyperbolic, but research has shown that living around narcissists can have the same effects on a person’s mind as people living in a war zone!

I wrote an article describing the “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With Narcissists“.

These people are monsters, plain and simple.

If you are struggling with emotional flashbacks, dealing with mental and emotional battles that NO ONE but yourself seems to see and feel, and if you find it hard to get out of bed every day, you may be dealing with C-PTSD.

As great as support groups may be, or as profound as articles can be, they are no substitute for professional help. 

Sometimes the best way to heal and move forward is with therapy.

Speaking with someone and getting the hurt off your chest is a great way to unload.

Online Therapy is a site that offers visitors the chance to speak with professional therapists who will be able to help you get through your emotional and psychological battles.

If you sign up with my link, you can get 20% off your first month’s session.

Online Therapy

About Author

I call myself the Rational Humorist. Narcs to me are cancer to humanity. The only way to beat cancer is to fight back against it.

The best way to defeat a narc is to see them as the jokes they are.

(1) Comment

  1. I’m curious what those qualities were, I could not find your post. I came up with 20 boundaries specifically designed to combat manipulators, I’m curious how much overlap there is.

    https://www.quora.com/What-situations-have-forced-you-to-put-personal-boundaries-in-place/answer/Conner-Wood-8

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