How To Ignore The Narcissist Effectively
If there is one way to really get even with the narc that has hurt you in your life, it is NOT GIVING THEM ATTENTION.
Narcs are, as I often say on my blog, ATTENTION FIENDS/ADDICTS.
They need attention from people like we need air to breathe.
These people are losers of the highest order.
They have NOTHING going on in their lives, so to spice up their lives, they will create chaos.
Heaven knows how difficult it can be to ignore a narc after being discarded.
They go on their smear campaigns, trying to convince everyone around you that “YOU” are the crazy ones.
“You wouldn’t believe how often they cheated on me.”
Knowing full well, they were the cheater.
“You wouldn’t believe how sensitive they are.”
Knowing full well that any criticism or lack of praise would break their little fragile egos.
They will send their legion of fools (i.e., “flying monkeys“) to stalk and harass you like the trained little monkeys they are.
“Squaw! Squaw! Oo Oo Aa Aa! For the glory of our master. We will destroy your life AT NO GAIN TO OURSELVES. Squaw! Oo Oo Aa Aa”
It can be challenging, and perhaps the hardest thing for many people, to ignore a narc during these horrible times.
But I know a secret about the narc and their legion of fools.
And once you realize this secret, you will see that their attacks NO LONGER HURT YOU.
They say “once you know the truth, it will set you free.“
Get ready to enjoy your freedom.
How To Ignore The Narcissist Effectively
Here is the thing about narcs and their flying monkeys…they NEED US, and we DO NOT NEED THEM.
Much like the GOVERNMENT, but that is a topic for another day.
“But they discarded me,” I hear you say.
The discard was not meant to let go of you, and it is evident in the smear campaign.
You guys have gone your separate ways, yet they are still talking and THINKING ABOUT YOU.
And the smear campaign is to get you to think about them so you can go crawling back to them.
Listen, I have had girls say to me, “they just want to be friends” after we been in a relationship, and when I said “okay” and went on my way, what did they do?
I have had guy and gal bosses fire me or try to fire me, and I would be cool, calm, and collected.
I had one boss, pull me to the side, and say to me:
The Narc boss: “X, you’re just not fitting in here. We gotta let you go.”
Me: Sure, Okay. No problem.
The Narc boss: Yeah! Because you don’t look like you want to be here.
Me: Sure, okay. No problem. I understand.
The Narc boss: You…you seem okay with this.
Me: It’s just a job. I can find another one. And it would be cruel on my part to keep taking the money here if I am not doing the job correctly.
The Narc boss: Grits their teeth.
Me: (In my mind) HAHAHAHA! I don’t need you.
Now, what does this have to do with ignoring the narc?
They NEED to feel like they matter. They NEED to feel like they have control over us. And they NEED to be validated in some way.
Once you realize that everything they do is to get OUR ATTENTION and REACTION, you start to see how weak and pathetic they are.
By me being cool in all the situations where the narcs were trying to a reaction from me…I WON, and they lost.
They lose their minds and crush their egos when they see we don’t care what they say or do.
For the chicks that “wanted to be friends” (in actuality, if they were being honest, was saying CHASE ME! CHASE ME! I am IMPORTANT TO YOU) and I went with it, they usually smeared campaigned me.
But I stood steadfast and allowed everyone to talk about me.
When they saw their gossiping didn’t affect me, they left.
Because they weren’t getting NOTHING from me.
Listen, these people NEED ATTENTION.
By ignoring them, BELIEVE ME, they will leave.
It may not be fast…but it WILL HAPPEN.
So how do you ignore them effectively?
Let me show you.
How To Effectively Ignore The Narcissist
Here are a few tactics that you should learn to cultivate and then start implementing in your daily life.
Tactic # 1: Stop Giving A Sh*t What People Think
This is a skill that is very difficult to learn. However, once you master this skill, you become INVINCIBLE.
The freedom that comes from NOT CARING what others say or think about you is a LIBERATING FEELING.
So how do you NOT give a FLIP about what others think of you?
YOU ARE DYING!
Every second you waste CARING, what others think about you is robbing you of a second where you can be happy.
Remember that you are dying. Death is going to come, and the things that most people REGRET on their deathbeds are:
Really think about this and meditate on this — what is SO IMPORTANT about people’s perception of you to sacrifice your happiness?
Oh, you say because people will treat you poorly.
But nobody can make you feel worthless without YOUR CONSENT.
Oh, you say because you will feel alone.
Better to be alone than to feel lonely in a crowded room of people.
Oh, you say because…because…
Just think about the reasons why you care what others think about you and ask yourself why any of the answers really and truly matter.
I highly recommend that you give this book a read 👉 “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck”.
Crass title, but amazing read on how not to give a flip what others think of you.
Tactic # 2: Focus On Things You Love To Do
Perhaps one of the easiest things you can do to get your attention off of the narc and effectively ignore them is to do things that bring you joy or learn skills that make you happy.
Shifting your focus on things you love will help remove the toxic presence of the narc in your mind.
We all need spring cleaning, and this is a great way to clean out the narcissistic gook in your mind.
These people will NEVER CHANGE…but lucky for us; we have the ability to improve who we are and become better versions of ourselves.
Focus on yourself and improve yourself.
Learn new skills at Skillshare.
Tactic # 3: Form New Relationships
Okay…I hear you.
“It’s too soon, and I am scared to rush back into a relationship.”
This doesn’t necessarily mean a romantic relationship.
But you may want to consider making new friends.
This does a wonder on so many levels.
First, it reveals to the narc that they are NOT IRREPLACEABLE.
And this will destroy their already cracked and bruised egos.
Second, it will REMIND you that you are a person that is worth being treated with respect.
You have so much to offer, and so much you can receive.
The Narc Is Not Important Enough To Think About
By defending yourself, reacting to the smear campaigns, lashing out at the narc, or crying over them…you actually play into their hands.
These people are so broken and irrational.
You will never reason with them.
You will never resolve issues with them.
And you will never be happy by being with them.
When I say to ignore a narc, what I am saying is not even to acknowledge their existnce, and believe me, they will fade away.
You may have to quit jobs…and that is okay. There are many jobs online or elsewhere.
You may have to move from your neighborhood…and that is okay.
You may have to make extreme life changes to ignore the narc effectively.
But it will be worth it in the end.
The amount of mental damage these people do to their victims is criminal.
You and only you have the power to effectively ignore the narc and take away whatever power they have over you.
Once they no longer influence your life, they shrivel up like the parasites they are and fade away.