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How To Have A Perfectly Happy Marriage With A Narcissist

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How To Have A Perfectly Happy Marriage With A Narcissist

If you are considering marrying a narcissist and want to make that marriage as happy and perfect as possible, sit tight because, in this article, I will explain all the steps you will need to follow in order to have that “happy marriage“.

There is such a thing as a HAPPY NARCISSISTIC MARRIAGE.

This isn’t oxymoronic!

What is oxymoronic would be saying, “that’s an ugly puppy.”

Or saying, “that was a delicious pineapple pizza.”

Or saying, “that is an honest politician.”

These are oxymorons.

A happy narcissistic marriage is a possibility, and in this article, I will show you how to make it happy and perfect.

How To Have A Perfectly Happy Marriage With A Narcissist

Happy Marriage With A Narc

Step 1: Cut Ties With Your Family and Friends

Hey! Now that you are with the narc, why in the world would you need anyone else?

That would just be “tomfoolery thinking” right there.

What you need to do is cut ties with your family and friends.

Who cares if you grew up with your best friend and went through so much with them.

Forget about all the times they bailed you out of those pickles you were stuck in. And forget about all the deep and meaningful conversations you had with them.

The constant complaining you get from the narc on a daily basis trumps the friendship relationship by a landslide.

And as for your family.

Why do you need your mom and dad in your life when you have the narc?

Your mom and dad don’t know what the love you and your narc have for each other.

Those silly arguments, late night out with the “friends,” the constant belittling of you to strangers and the occasional physical altercation are all signs of a happy, healthy, and PEREFCT marriage.

And if you are thinking differently, then frankly… you are just not loving correctly.

But, hey, the narc will fix that.

Step 2: Know your Place

Now, ladies, this is 2020.

You should know by now your place in the life of your narc husband. It’s in the kitchen or bedroom.

Or on the floor, after the narc has been emasculated.

Ah! Love. How painful…um sweet thou are.

And guys.

You have a precious little Disney princess in the body of a grown female.

How attractive is that?

To have a grown female act like a toddler.

That baby talk is such a TURN ON!

Confident women could learn a thing or two from these kidult Disney Princess females.

You sure did win the lottery.

So know that her clothes, makeup, bank account, “frenemies,” little purse dog, shoes, the “pool boy/pizza delivery guy/cable guy, Jack next door who always waves and GRINS when you have to go to work, Rob the neighborhood bum”, ALL come before you.

Step 3: Everything Is Your Fault

They had a bad day.

Remember, it is your fault.

They lost the keys to the car.

Remember, it is your fault.

They get caught using drugs by the police.

Remember, it is your fault.

They get thrown in prison for fighting in a bar.

Remember, it’s your fault.

A perfect happy marriage with a narc means THEM NEVER HAVING TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY FOR ANYTHING.

Just smile and giggle when they do something wrong. It will please them.

Step 4: They Are More Important Than The Kids

Hey! Screw parenting the kids. You have a grown behind narc you’re married to who needs your parenting skills.

Step 5: Give Up Your Dreams and Happiness

Finally, to make this a happy and perfect marriage, you need to give up your dreams, goals, and happiness.

How does this make it a happy perfect marriage for you?

Stop being so narcissistic and thinking you deserve to be loved.

Gosh! The ego of some people.

THIS IS A SPOOF

Listen, there is NO SUCH THING AS A HAPPY MARRIAGE WITH A NARC.

These people will slowly drain the life out of you and throw you away the moment you no longer serve their needs.

If you have doubts about your marriage with that “special someone,” then listen to your gut.

And better yet listen to the people in your life who love you and KNOW YOU.

Too many people get married to these monsters, and their lives take a turn for the worst. ‘if you have doubt, then most likely THEY ARE NOT THE ONE.

Spare yourself the needless drama and heartaches.

You deserve so much more.

About Author

I call myself the Rational Humorist. Narcs to me are cancer to humanity. The only way to beat cancer is to fight back against it.

The best way to defeat a narc is to see them as the jokes they are.

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