Stop Ignoring Your Narcissist and Start Not Acknowledging Them


Stop Ignoring Your Narcissist

I don't hold grudges anymore. You just become irrelevant. Click To Tweet

There is a misunderstanding with many people who are using “No Contact,” that it is a means to punish their narcissist. They are using going “No Contact” as a means to hurt the narcissist and to teach the narcissist how to behave.

Many of us are still holding on to this idea that if we show them what life is without us, maybe they will change.

NO!

NO, THEY WILL NOT!

Well, to be fair, some may. Narcs can change. There is a chance that they can change.

But, there is also a chance that you could survive a fall from an airplane at 30, 000 feet with no parachute.

There is also a chance that you could survive being struck by lightning.

And there is also a chance that you could survive a gunshot to the head.

But would you TRY any of these?

Many of us are going “No Contact“, which in this case is just ignoring them or giving them the silent treatment, so we can try and teach them.

The same way they try to teach us.

But this WILL FAIL and only hurt you more in the extended scheme of things.

If you are not blocking them on social media and still having them as friends on social media, you are giving these parasites the opening they need to enter into your life to finish the job they didn’t the first time.

If someone shot at you and dropped their gun, would you pick it up and give it back to them so they can try a second time?

This is essentially what you are doing when you use No contact as a means of just ignoring them, hoping they will change.

Understand this, Ignoring and Not acknowledging are two different things; and here is why.

Stop Ignoring Your Narcissist and Start Not Acknowledging Them

Now, what do I mean by the title above?

When you ignore someone, what this shows is that basically, you have been hurt by them. It is a passive-aggressive attack that people take to let them know, “Hey! I am hurting you by not talking to you. And I am doing this because you hurt me.”

This is a coward’s way of doing things in life.

The world is already full of kidults, let us not add to this ever-growing number.

Ignoring is childish because you are trying to hurt someone without seeming to be the bad guy.

And this is what narcs do.

Why play their game?

You will only lose in the end.

So what is the difference between not acknowledging I hear you ask?

And the difference is…

Stop Ignoring Your Narcissist

When you do not acknowledge them, you win.

If they win $5 million…you don’t care.

If they find out they have five months left to live because of cancer…you do not care.

Whatever happens or whatever they do with their lives, you do not care. And you do not care because you are not invested in them.

See, ignoring means you still are invested with them.

When they find a new lover while you ignore them, you get upset. And they know this.

If they get a new house and car and you ignore them, you start to boil up.

And if they become successful in their lives, you feel like you can’t go on.

When you don’t acknowledge them, you don’t care what they do because they become worthless. 

And once you can make the worthless in life, YOU WIN.

Stop Ignoring Your Narcissist: Stop Giving Them Value

Listen, you have to stop giving these people value. You have to stop thinking that your life will be no better because they are no longer in your life or because they may actually be doing good in life.

Narcissists are attention whores.

They need attention to survive.

Once you stop caring about them and make them irrelevant to you, YOU WIN, because you show them they are not important. 

And when you can show a narcissist how unimportant and how irrelevant they are, that brings down the illusionary fantasy world they live in. Welcome to the real world.

You will gain nothing by having these people in your life. But you will lose a hell of a lot by having them in your life.

Don’t ignore the narc; stop acknowledging them.

Your life will be so much better because of it.

8 Replies to “Stop Ignoring Your Narcissist and Start Not Acknowledging Them”

  1. So I went no contract with my soon to be x Narc when I signed the separation papers he issued. We were married 1 year, but he moved 4 months into the marriage. I did not know he was a Narc then and kept trying to work things out with him over and over. Finally 6 months after he left (10 months into the marriage) he approved a 2 week work trip I had to take AND he said he felt I was finally coming around and when i returned he wanted us to live together again and resume our marriage. 1 week before I was to come home he text that he loved me and was looking forward to talking to me that evening (I was at work). Three hours later he text saying he did not want to talk to me, and that he felt like he was always chasing me around. I couldn’t understand this as I wouldn’t have gone on the work trip without his approval and we had been keeping in good contact while I was gone. From there many weeks of him either being silent or yelling at me began. Eventually he accused me of having an affair (I was very much in love with him and believed we could work thru anything and come out strong). So I never even thought of looking at sometime else, I was married and commuted. Plus I’m a Christian who believed in our vows and that even though my marriage was awful, it was still a blessing from God.
    Anyways – when I signed the separation papers he assured me that he would NEVER want to be married to me or try to work things out. So after speaking to my Pastor I signed. I then came his lawyer and told him to tell him that I wanted no contact. No text, emails, phonecalls. That was so I could being healing. I removed him and his family from my social media and sent a letter to his mom to tell her I had to go no contract to heal (I was nice and it was a good letter of goodbye). So over the summer I started reading this feed on narcissism and it checked all the boxes. But I thought “we are doing good at no contact, I’m off his radar “. We have no need to talk or see each other until the divorce next year. However a few weeks ago my 23 year old daughter was in the same space as him – she didn’t know he was there at first and then when she saw him she kept space between them. But he has his new girl harass her and then he came up and threatened her. She left. Then my neighbor just told me that the narcs truck has been in my driveway several times recently. I think hes been moving things around on my porch to mess with me. I changed the alarm code so it would go off if he tried to enter the house and I’m getting a camera system soon.
    So – the no contact was for me. I needed to heal and am old enough to know that no contract is the only way for me to do that. I’m feeling better and I do NOT care about him or his life any longer. But I do not understand why he’d be snooping around my place these days. We haven’t spoken for months. I’m nothing to him. I didn’t do no contact to punish him, at the time he assured me he didn’t want anything to do with me as well.
    We never got to the point in our marriage to combine a lot of things, never combined finances (TG) and don’t share kids. He should really not be thinking of me at all. I am just moving on and becoming stronger, i should not be a blip in his thoughts.

    1. Narcissists are irrational.

      Whatever he says, know that is probably not what he wants.

      He said he didn’t want to be with you because he was trying to hurt you. Once he released you could just move on, which hurt him at his ego.

      I would suggest getting a restraining order of you can, if you feel like he is snooping around and stalking you.

      1. Thank you for your comment. I didn’t realize mine was so lengthy and full of misspellings, lol – cell phone typing!!
        My daughter and I will both get restraining orders. And now that I know he can never change I’m glad that he pushed me away – I don’t want to be tired to anyone like that.

        1. LOL! Don’t worry about the typos, I understood. And I do the same thing as well.

          I stick mostly to my laptop. 🙂

          And yes PLEASE DO.

          These narcs and their flying monkeys have NO LIVES.

          So all they want to do is destroy other lives.

          Look after yourself and make sure you record any altercations for future evidence. I have had to deal with so many of these people. They all do the same thing.

          Stay safe and live well. 🙂

  2. What if you are not positive he actually is a narcissist and this breakup is only a week old…do you not acknowledge right away? I’ve pretty much been given the silent treatment.

    1. Mind you, and please take this with a grain of salt, but I am of the belief that if you are in a relationship, you are with the person to grow.

      You are supposed to be partners, this idea of breaking up to make up is without a doubt, to me, one of the most childish things to do.

      We have but so much time to give and receive, why waste it with these silly games of the silent treatment.

      If your partner cannot, or you cannot work on seeing one another as equals and as ADULTS, then why waste the time?

      I read so many stories of people spending years to DECADES trying to reason with a narc only to waste all that time. And the sad thing is that you can never get it back.

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