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10 Reasons Why You Should Stop Hating Your Narcissist: Don’t Play The Hating Game


the hating game

Don’t Play The Hating Game

Now, I can already hear you.

ENABLER! FLYING MONKEY. FOOL. JACK*SS.

And…whoa!

Hey! I am on your side. I have had to deal with many narcissists throughout my life, as well.

And I know, had it not been for my awakening and enlightening (to an extent), I would disagree with this title as well.

But hear me out before passing judgment. And kindly put down that fork pitch!

I see you.

Now, getting back to the issue.

In this article. I want to give you 10 Reasons Why You Should Stop Hating Your Narcissist.

Listen, hatred is never a good thing. Even if we hated Cancer or child starvation, that would not get rid of either of them. It is only in using that energy you have (because hatred is just energy that is being streamed through you via a negative channel, that we will be able to SOLVE the problems at hand.

Hate is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Click To Tweet

10 Reasons Why You Should Stop Hating Your Narcissist: Don’t Play The Hating Game

1 – Bad For Your Emotional and Mental Well-Being

the hating game

Hatred is a parasitic emotion. It burrows deep into your heart and mind and eats away all the good, light, and hope that once resided there.

Empaths are the embodiment of light.

The ability to love someone as we love ourselves or even MORE is NOT a sign of weakness or foolishness. This is a power that very few people have.

Great people in society are those who can place others before themselves.

History talks of these people is a “good light.”

Negative people are hardly ever seen as great or people to aspire to be like.

Narcissists are creatures that I believe were formed in the darkest regions fo existence. A realm where even Satan would not dear venture for fear of his life.

Hating the narcissists is like a bee sting. The narcissist that enters into your life stung you with their irrationality and their insanity.

The hatred that you have for them is their parting gift.

They know how stressed out you will become over the things they have done.

Stress KILLS.

This is not just a saying…this is a TRUTH.

Some of the effects hatred can have on your mental and emotional well-being are:

  • Anxiety
  • Restlessness
  • Lack of motivation
  • Lack of focus
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Irritability and hatred
  • Sadness or depression

2 – Bad For Your Physical Health: Reasons Why You Should Stop Hating Your Narcissist

To piggyback off of the previous entry, hatred not only affects our mental and emotional state, but it also has the potential to negatively affect our physical well-being as well. Hatred can cause a myriad of physical illness.

Some of the effects stress from severe hatred for someone or something that has happened is:

  • Headaches
  • Chest Pain
  • Fatigue
  • Change In Sex Drive
  • Stomach Upset
  • Sleep Problem

Tell me, I am wrong?

Don’t Play The Hating Game

3 – You Start To Develop Addictive Habits

the hating game

It is not uncommon for people to try and “drown their sorrows” in alcohol or some other immediate pleasure. Be this alcohol, sex, or drugs.

In my article “Alcohol Doesn’t Cure Your Depression,” I argue that this is precisely what the narcissist wants you to do.

They love the idea that they have made your life SO UNBEARABLE that you have you to numb yourself to life.

Some bad habits you can/will pick up are:

  • Overeating
  • Lashing out at people
  • Drug overuse
  • Alcohol overuse
  • Tobacco use
  • Social Withdrawal
  • Consumed With Revenge

4 – Your Self-Hatred Grows The More You Hate Them: Reasons Why You Should Stop Hating Your Narcissist

“I was such a fool for staying so long.”

“They made me look like an idiot.”

“God, Why did I waste so much time.”

“Why didn’t I see it earlier?”

“Why did I ignore the red flags?”

“I…Am…Such…An…IDIOT!”

The more we hate them, the more our self-hatred grows.

Heck, the amount of hatred we will have for ourselves will supersede what we feel for the narcissist. Self-hatred is yet another parting gift from the narcissist. Their whole objective is to either control us or to destroy us.

But when they can do both of these two (make us hate ourselves and let us destroy ourselves), this is a double whammy for them.

Don’t Play The Hating Game

5 – You Become Like The Narcissist: Broken Empaths

Narcissists love to break people. They love the idea of destruction.

They are the 13-year-old bully on the beach wh destroys 10-year-old sandcastle.

Narcissists are kidults.

They have never learned how to grow up.

So to them, destruction and chaos are entertaining.

But more than just destroying sandcastles, cars, homes, careers, and goals, these people LOVE to destroy lives.

And this is very true.

There are these people whom I have given the name as “Broken Empaths” (#brokenempaths).

These people are the narcissist’s greatest invention.

These people have become so hurt by the narcissist, that they no longer:

  • Trust people
  • Connect with people
  • Listen to people
  • Love people

They have become so hurt that all they do now is lash out at everyone who comes close to them. They are like the wounded animal who is stuck in a ditch or well. When a rescuer tries to help them, they lash out because they have been so hurt.

The pain they have now won’t; allow anyone close to them because they think they are there to finish the job.

Broken empaths are a narcissist’s greatest invention because they act on the will fo the narcissist, without even knowing.

6 – You Waste Your Life Away: Reasons Why You Should Stop Hating Your Narcissist

We get ONE GO AT LIFE.

There is no redo with this experience.

You cannot die and say, “Wait! Death. Give me five more years. Please, I spent it WASTING IT BY HATING SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT UNDERSTAND LOVE AND EMPATHY.

That is not how things are.

Life is one time.

Every day that we GIVE to these creatures (narcissists) by hating them...is a day that we waste away. Click To Tweet

Don’t Play The Hating Game

7 – Narcissist Want You To Hate Them

Narcissists love to be hated.

It gives them a sense of being worthy.

They know “who” they are can never be “loved.” But “who” they are can always be “hated.” And hatred to them is their love.

They like it when people think about them. And they love knowing that they hurt us and there seems to be NOTHING we can do to them.

They seek hatred, which is why they do some of the most wicked things you can think of.

Don’t give them what they want.

8 – You Stop Trusting Others: Reasons Why You Should Stop Hating Your Narcissist

Trust is tough to find in life. And it SHOULD be something that we give very few people.

But after being with the insanity that is narcissistic people, trusting others can be a challenging task.

Narcissists want you to feel alone.

The reason is that if you have no one…you will by proxy be forced to need them. And these NEEDY attention fiends love this.

The only way they can keep people’s attention is by behaving irrationally.

By making you lose trust in people, you will forever be left to “taking them back” or “seeking them out.”

Don’t play their game.

Don’t Play The Hating Game

9 – You Lose Sight Of Hope

the hating game

“Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly.”
― Langston Hughes

Hope is what gets us out of bed when we feel the weight of life holding us down.

Hope is what gives us the strength to dare to TRY.

It is “hope” that puts a smile on your face that maybe… just maybe, that person COULD like you.

It is “hope” that maybe tomorrow can be a better day.

Hope...is light's ray that cuts through the dark clouds to shed sunshine on that flower to grow. Click To Tweet

TWEET THAT!

Never lose hope.

The times with the narcissist may have been dark, cloudy moments in your life.

But hope is the sunshine that will once again brighten up your life.

Never lose hope because that is when the narcissist wins.

10 – Hatred Is NO DIFFERENT THAN LOVE

Learn to detach yourself from what the narcissist has done to you.

Love and hatred are not that far apart.

They spark up the same regions of the brain.

The opposite of love is NOT hatred.

It is indifference.

It is them becoming so irrelevant.

When you detach yourself from them and what they have done…you take away their power.

And like the parasitic worms they are, they will shrivel up and die.

No Shame In Therapy

Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology. 

In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.

The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger. 

When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in. 

Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do. 

Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.

Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side. 

About Author

I call myself the Rational Humorist. Narcs to me are cancer to humanity. The only way to beat cancer is to fight back against it.

The best way to defeat a narc is to see them as the jokes they are.

(4) Comments

  1. Abused but not broken says:

    There’s no way I’m going to say you’re wrong. You absolutely right. I met a ” wonderful woman” at the age of 34. She was 32, plain but cute. No kids, no baggage, and she made it clear she wanted kids, a house, a traditional marriage. As a single man in my 30’s the dating pool is pretty shallow. Women the same age often have kids already and don’t always want to start over with another child. When I met the women of my dreams. She was from my hometown, single, no kids and wanted to start a serious relationship that would lead to a marriage with kids. She made it clear that I was the man she would have to fulfill this dream.
    Obviously I was ecstatic! The connection was over the top strong. It felt like love times ten. I had always wanted to find a woman who wanted to get married and start a family and she was no doubt “The One”.
    Her back story was that after college she moved to Arizona and got married. Her ex husband told her he wanted kids but when the time came he changed his mind. She was devastated and decided to divorce and come home and find a local man, me, to start her family. That was all the information I had to navigate my decisions. I had no reason to think otherwise. Plus the love was just over the top. I had no knowledge of “love bombing”.
    She even was Irish Catholic, same as me. Comes from a strong family, no concerns or red flags. My ship had come in. After dating 7 or 8 months, I proposed and we were engaged. 3 months after we were engaged she was pregnant. We were already getting married so we’re super excited. We bought the home, had the child, one amazing little boy that makes my heart swell with Joy.
    Things started to change quickly after our boy was born. Her attitude was awful and she seemed to hate this new life she sought out and made happen. I thought it was post baby blues and didn’t worry. Slowly I started uncovering what she was really doing and her true past.

    She hinted during our dating and engagement that she was into kink, fetish, BDSM sex. That sound that okay but I had never really been into that and I thought maybe further down the road we would explore it. Fast forward 2 years to this moment now.
    I have found more than 300 sex toys and torture devices hidden through out our home. I found a blog dedicated to BDSM she created and wrote in everyday for 9 months. She had over 1000 followers and I could see she was very actively having cyber sex with anyone and everyone. I confronted her because I was betrayed and hurt. What happened next still shocks me to the core. She told me all about how it was my fault for not doing the BDSM sex with her and not being there for her. She, the cheater was now the victim too. I had never witnessed behavior like this. We had only been married a year and I wanted to really make it work so I agreed to start doing any and all BDSM sex activities with her. I thought surely she’s going to be excited that she now has someone to do things with in real life. Wrong!!! I also found out her marriage in Arizona was a “open marriage” not traditional.
    Call me old fashioned but I’m 37 and I don’t want a marriage like that. I do not consider that a marriage. Having no kids and fucking whoever you want is not a marriage.
    Finally to wrap it up. She lies as a first language. She cheats online every chance she can. There hasn’t been much opportunity for her to cheat since the marriage and child but I’m not a fucking idiot. I’m sure it’s happened and happening. I found out this bombshell news 5 months ago. Normally I would leave. No doubt. I’m very good looking to be frank and could cheat easily without the computer or phone. I simply wouldn’t do that. I’m a great guy. I don’t cheat or lie. I have a promising career, I’m a great dad. Every decision I make I think family first.

    After realising I’m with a covert narcissist who is actively deceiving me all day everyday, I started drinking and drinking hard. Before I knew what was happening and I was living in a world of ignorance I didn’t even keep alcohol in the home. I didn’t even drink sometimes on a monthly basis, once I knew and the cat was out of the box I needed a coping mechanism. Spent the next eight weeks drinking the point of being drunk every night just to feel comfortable in my own home around my own wife and my own little boy. I realize now I was grieving the loss of the relationship I believed I had and also accepting the fact that I had no idea who I was married to or how this could have happened to me. Our situation is complicated and I cannot simply leave and have the same access to my child. Her parents watch our little boy everyday while both of us work. Her parents view her as angelic and without flaw. Every fight is my fault and I have been made into a monster in there minds. I will soon let the truth flow in the light and burn all the darkness she has spread. Plus I have hundreds of pieces of proof. So it’s no debatable.
    Living like this will kill you! I have watched my resting heart rate go from 60ish beats per minute to around 100 beats per minute in 5 months. I am always on alert. Playing detective and just anxious as hell all the time. I’ve had severe chest pains and I know the end is near for me if I try to stay make it work. I finally started planning my exit strategy and it will work. It does require staying another 5 months but with the help of my doctor and Klonopin I will prevail.

    You maybe stuck right now but you have to get out. The long duration of continual stress causes brain damage and elevated cortisol levels. It will kill you. I have stopped drinking and I have a plan. I know what subjects to avoid to keep the peace. In the end she will loose her job, custody of our boy and won’t be able to show her face in public. She earned it through ever betrayal on a good man who was completely dedicated to her.
    You have to form a plain and get out or this stress will put you in the ground. Instead, put your abuser in ground if the opportunity arises. It’s where they belong and you are doing the world a serious favor.

  2. Abused but not broken says:

    The stress will kill you. When the opportunity arises, you must be ready to kill them. Especially if it’s going to be a long drawn out divorce and custody battle. Look for the opportunity and make sure they have an accident. You’re doing the world a favor. They would do the same thing if they could. You can grieve later just start looking for opportunities. Train your brain to think like them. Snuff them out and call it a day. What would Dexter do? Exactly!

  3. Jonathan Kump, poet says:

    Great posts! Much of disease manifests from dis-ease where you are not at ease with a situation or facets of life, and a drama-creating and life-damaging Narc can easily do that. When you’re 84 years old and look back, don’t regret that you spent wayyyyy too much time on anxiety from someone who was creating the dis-ease. L A U G H = Life Affirming Urge to Get Happy! Enjoy each moment!

    1. Love the acronym!!!

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