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100 Ways To Let Go And Move On With Life After Narcissistic Abuse

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Narcissistic abuse hurts us while we are with the narcissist and it can even hurt us long after we have left the narcissist.

Some people have become, so trauma bonded with their narcissist that the idea of going No Contact isn’t even a viable option.

And for those who may have been discarded by the narcissist, the anger and the rage they feel can become so overwhelming.

Overwhelming to the point that it causes severe migraines and headaches due to stress.

For many of us, we want nothing more than but to move on with their lives. But the memories of the past are so strong, and the reoccurring nightmares only add more fuel to the fire.

So in this article, I have taken the liberty to outline 100 ways that you can let go of your hurt, your pain, your anger, and your sorrows and move on in life.

Life, no matter how bad the narcissist may have made yours, is a gift. And I am deadset determined to get people to start seeing this.

I know for many, they feel like they want to give up on life.

Don’t.

Just because you had a few dark chapters in your life doesn’t mean you cannot finish your story on a good page. And know this, that all great stories have climatic and devastating chapters in their stories.

Without the bad climatic elements, it wouldn’t be a story worth reading. 😉

Disclaimer: This article includes affiliate links which I may receive a commission for.

100 Ways To Let Go

Let Go Of Anger

1 – Feel That Anger Fully

Quite often, many of us try to keep that anger buried within. We don’t want to let it out. And as a result, what it does is build up. Imagine your rage as soda, and you are the bottle that has been shaken.

Now imagine someone slightly pricking you. Much like a soda bottle that has been shaken and then pricked, it will explode.

Let that anger out now by:

  • Yelling into your pillow
  • Yelling out in nature
  • Squeezing a stress ball
  • Writing your thoughts out
  • Joining a support group to rant (Fell Free To Rant In My Private Forum)

2 – Give Yourself A Rant Space

Joining a support group to just rant is a great way to get what you have off your chest. You have to understand that you are not the only one who has dealt with a narcissistic person in the past.

By joining these groups, you will have people who actually understand the pain and suffering you may be going through.

One of the few things YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO is fight this inner battle alone. Reach out to others who, too, are suffering and learn to be each others hand up in this psychological battlefield!

Reddit offers a support group where you can rant, reach out for opinions, and just let what is eating you away out.

Join here at Narcissistic Abuse

Also, I have a group to which you can also get support. You can let us know what is going on in your life.

You can join here Laughing At Narcs

Stop keeping those negative thoughts inside you. Don’t let them eat away at you.

3 – Remind Yourself that Anger Only Hurts You More Than Your Narcissist

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. - Attributed to many people in history. Click To Tweet

Anger, in the end, only hurts you. Constantly waking up feeling negative instead of positive has a myriad of adverse effects on your physical health, NOT just your emotional health.

Ask yourself is being angry worth (read here about 7 Ways Anger Is Ruining Your Health):

  • Stressing out
  • Developing migraines
  • Putting your heart at risk
  • Ups the chance of you getting a stroke
  • Weakening your immune system
  • Boost your anxiety
  • Leading to depression
  • Causing problem for your lungs
  • Shorten your lifespan

By staying angry at the narcissist, and I am not saying you have to love them, you are only doing the work of the narcissist for them.

You are hurting yourself because of the narcissists. And that is what they want.

4 – Write Out A Letter (But Don’t Deliver It) To Your Narcissist

Abraham Lincoln did something that I really liked. He used to write letters to people he believed had wronged him. He would write it out but never deliver it.

A few days later, he would go back to the letter and read it with fresh eyes. In doing this, he would be able to see the situation from a new perspective.

Being able to see your time with the narcissist with a new perspective will have a monumental impact on your healing process.

By learning to see the time with the narcissist as a time that TAUGHT you more about you and people in the world — instead of just a time where you were hurt — you can move on from that “training” (which I like to call it) and become a better person because of it.

5 – Imagine The Event Playing Out MUCH WORSE (Negative Visualization)

Negative Visualization is:

[The Stoics] recommended that we spend time imagining that we have lost the things we value—that our wife has left us, our car was stolen, or we lost our job. Doing this, the Stoics thought, will make us value our wife, our car, and our job more than we otherwise would. This technique—let us refer to it as negative visualization—was employed by the Stoics at least as far back as Chrysippus. It is, I think, the single most valuable technique in the Stoics’ psychological tool kit. – A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy By William B. Irvine

This is a personal favorite technique of mines. I often think about how things could have gone far worse. I think of them taking so much more from me. Them setting me up for prison time. Them placing me in the hospital or worse.

By thinking of how much worst things COULD have been, it makes me less angry at what actually DID happen.

6 – Use A Stress Ball

Merely squeezing a stress ball can help you let out that anger in the physical world. And all without having to hurt anyone else.

7 – Wear A Rubber Band On Yor Wrist And Snap It Every Time You Get Angry

This is a technique that is catching a lot of flame of late. Place a rubber band on your wrist, and every time you feel yourself entering into a state of anger, pull the rubber band on your wrist and let it snap your wrist.

This is great on so many levels. You train yourself to have better control of your emotions. But the hallmark aspect of this technique is the symbolism.

I have already said that anger only hurts you, and the snap of the rubber band really helps to prove this even more.

Every-time you hate them, you literally are hurting yourself!

8 – Remove Everything That Reminds You Of The Narcissist

Remove EVERYTHING in your life that reminds you of the narcissist. This is plain and simple. Get rid of their:

  • Clothes
  • Pictures
  • Tools
  • Items
  • Block them on Social Media

Remove everything in your life that will remind you of them.

9 – Change Your Environment

There are some people who feel like moving areas or leaving their toxic workplaces, toxic homes, and toxic environments is a sign of running away.

But tell me, would you live in Chernobyl because you thought you couldn’t find someplace better?

Hopefully, the answer is no.

Toxic environments are NO different than Chernobyl. Click To Tweet

So leave those environments for your own sake.

10 – Speak With A Therapist

So many of us have been so conditioned to believe seeing a therapist means we are crazy. The truth of the matter is that NOT seeing a therapist is crazy.

If you had a sore tooth, you would go to the dentists. If you had a pain in your body, you would go to the doctor.

So why not see someone who can help you with the pain in your mind (your thoughts).

Therapists will be able to offer you a new perspective that you may be too blind to see because of the anger you feel.

You know what they say about anger, “it is blinding“.

Sign up to Online-Therapy (this is my affiliate link) to speak with a therapist.

11 – Practice Relaxation Techniques (Look Into Yoga)

There is a reason that yoga is becoming quite popular amongst many people of a different generation.

Yoga is not only great for keeping you limber and in shape, but it is also a great way to help combat anger by helping to bring your awareness into the present.

12 – Exercise

Exercising is a great way to reduce your levels of anger.

Exercises such as:

  • Jump roping
  • Cycling
  • Running
  • Sprinting
  • Group Exercises (Team Sports)

13 – Forgive Them Even If They Haven’t Apologized (Which They Most likely Will Not Do)

“When you choose to forgive those who have hurt you, you take away their power.”- Anonymous

Forgiving them when they haven’t even apologized is NOT for them. It is for us. By forgiving them and not also seeking an apology, you can move on with your life.

The problem with many of us is that we are holding out for an apology that is not ever going to happen.

You can read my full article “Stop Waiting For The Apology” to get a much more in-depth understanding.

14 – Recite Positive Affirmations

The power that words have on our psyche and our reality are greatly overlooked. I want you to think about this for the moment.

How often do you tell yourself:

  • “I hate myself”
  • “I’m an idiot”
  • “I deserve this”

We tell ourselves so many negative things, and as a result, we live and feel a negative life. Read these 25 QUOTES TO UPLIFT YOU AFTER LEAVING YOUR NARCISSIST every day. You will see that positive words can have a significant impact on your life.

15 – Journal Your Thoughts and Feelings

Almost all GREAT people in history journaled their thoughts. The reason you will want to journal your thoughts is to get those negative thoughts out of you. 

But it is also for your healing. By journaling, you start to take control of your thoughts and your feelings. As well as be able to look back at how far you have come.

16 – Become More Self-Aware

Becoming self-aware is critical for your healing process. Simply by knowing that you are falling into a state of anger, you will be able to CATCH YOURSELF.

Most people that you come across in life are not self-aware, and as a result, they fall into ANY emotional state that tugs at them at the current moment!

17 – Laugh

“How strange, thought Perdu, that one laugh can wipe away so much hardship and suffering. A single laugh. And the years flow together and…away.”? Nina George

Laugh.

Laugh at the absurdity. At their irrationality.

Laugh at the immaturity. At the fact that these people NEVER GROW UP.

Laugh at the pain. Because they tried to hurt you, but it only tickles.

Laugh. Laugh so loud and so hard…for your healing.

Because it has been shown that laughter not only eases the pain but can also heal the pain.

Learn more about laughter therapy here.

18 – Take Deep Breathes

Learning how to breathe deeply has been shown to help those who have anger management issues.

Specifical these four Yoga Poses/ Breathing Techniques:

  • Savasana, or Corpse Pose
  • Child’s Pose 
  • Nose breathing
  • Relaxation Breath

Learn more here.

19 – Focus On Your Future

It has been said that we have around 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day. Of these thoughts, 70% of them are negative. And of these thoughts, 90% of these thoughts are the SAME thoughts from yesterday.

This is why it is so hard for people to move on.

They are literally stuck in the past due to their thinking. By learning to focus on the future, by writing out and concentrate on what you want in life, you will be better able to truly move out of the past, which is trying to keep you locked in it.

20 – Help Others Like You

The act of helping others who may have it out worse than you is also a great way to heal. Being altruistic actually has many positive impacts on your mind.

Read the full study about altruism, and it’s effects on our emotional and psychological health here at Helping Others, Warming Yourself: Altruistic Behaviors Increase Warmth Feelings of the Ambient Environment

Let Go Of Past Relationships

21 – Stop Feeling Regretful (You Are Only Human)

You are only a human. There is no blueprint to this thing called life. Nobody has it right in life. The relationship was not a prison but just a training ground to show you what NOT to have in a partner.

22 – See The Experience As A Learning Lesson

To piggyback off of the last entry, you need to see your time with your narcissist as a classroom. They were showing you everything that you don’t want to be, who you don’t want to be with, and what type of life you don’t want to live.

23 – See It As A Dark Chapter

All great stories have dark moments in them. The dark moments are not meant to END the protagonist but to strengthen and reveal to them something. 

See your dark moments as not the end but as the means to which will make you a person much stronger, wiser, and better.

24 – Reward Yourself Every Time You Accomplish Something In the Presence

Reward yourself every day for each step you are moving in the right direction (which is forward). If you wake up and say to yourself “I love myself” instead of “I hate myself” — then reward yourself for taking the necessary steps in the right direction of healing.

25 – Loving Myself Means Letting Go

There is no greater love you can have for yourself than but to move on from people who don’t love you.

26 – Learn A New Skill

Replace old thoughts with new thoughts. You cannot change the past, and you cannot change the person you were. But you have everything in you to change the person you are right now.

Learning a new skill will rewire your brain, and thus, new thoughts and feelings will arise.

If you want to learn a new skill, then try (this is an affiliate link) Skillshare.

In the link provided above, you get access to 2 months of online courses to which you can learn anything you may have a passion for.

27 – Write Out Your Future (Plan Your Tomorrows The Night Before)

This is a personal favorite of mines. I love to schedule my day ahead of me. And the reason for this is because when I wake up, my FOCUS is on the things I need to do in a day. My thoughts are all about what I need to tackle on this day.

By doing this, I am better able to keep myself from thinking about the negative past relationship and focus on building myself up.

28 – Visualize The Friends and Life You Want To Live

This goes hand and hand with the previous entry. By visualizing where I want to be in the next week, month, or year I find that I subconsciously place myself there.

29 – Get To Know You (Focus On Who You Are Now)

“Know Thyself.” 

You are not what you were but who YOU choose to be.

30 – Set Up Boundaries (This Sets Up For The Next Entry)

Learn to set up boundaries. I give myself 7 things that I look for in a person to be able to enter into my life. If they do not have 5 of the 7 (yes, I know that may be steep), I don’t allow them to be my friend or to work with me.

You have to be strict with whom you allow into your life. Click To Tweet

31 – Don’t Stop Dating Again (Don’t Let The Narcissist Strip Love From You)

Don't let the narcissist strip love from you. Click To Tweet

I know you may feel hurt by the narcissist and what they have done. But NOT all people are like this. By setting up your boundaries, you will be able to wheen out all the potential narcissists.

Finding a healthy relationship will do wonders for you in regards to you moving on in life. Love is a fantastic emotion; don’t let the narcissist take that away from you.

32 – Focus On Creating Stronger and Healthier Bonds With Those Close To You

During this time (after your separation from the narcissist), you may feel lonely. Reach out to those who have been there with you and create a stronger bond with them.

33 – Cry About What Happens (Release The Pain)

Crying is not a sign of weakness....it is the releasing of weakness. Click To Tweet

34 – Research Upcoming Events To Expect In The Coming Future

What I have found to help me, and I hope it can do the same for you is to research upcoming events. Like what will happen in the next ten years, twenty years or thirty years. How is life on earth going to be?

I love the idea of what life will be like in the coming decades. Check out this article “33 Dramatic Predictions fo 2030“.

Would you not want to be part of this?

35 – Accept That They Will Never Apologize (There Are Just People Like Them Out In The World)

Just knowing that there are people like them out in the world is reason enough for me to move on with my life. Knowing that nothing I do will ever change them saves me plenty of future headaches.

36 – Help Others Less Fortunate Than You

Focusing on the past will only rob me of the present. Click To Tweet

46 – Aromatherapy

Aromatherapy is a great way to relieve stress. Certain scents have an effect on us at a sensational level. Lavender and cinnamon are great for helping your mind to enter into the state of being relaxed.

Check out these candles and Incense at Sivana Warriors.

47 – Musical Therapy

“That’s Life”

48 – Five Second Rule

Mel Robbins came up with this technique where you give yourself 5 seconds to feel whatever it is that you are feeling, and after the five seconds, let it go. 

As simple as this sounds, there are have been millions of people who have become a better person due to this technique.

Check out “The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage” written by Mel Robbins

Using the science of habits, riveting stories and surprising facts from some of the most famous moments in history, art and business, Mel Robbins will explain the power of a “push moment.”  Then, she’ll give you one simple tool you can use to become your greatest self.

49 – Swimming

Swimming is a GREAT way to relieve yourself of stress. Here are just a few examples of what it can do:

  • Swimming improves memory (remember the good times in life)
  • Increases mindfulness
  • Helps You Get Bette Night Sleep
  • Creates NEW Brain Cells

50 – Lower The Amount Of Self-Pleasure You Do

Now, there is NOTHING wrong with self-pleasure. But you might want to ease up on the frequency to which you are doing this. And this tip is more so for my dudes than they females.

Having less testosterone leads to you feeling depressed. Try No fap for a week or two, and you will notice how much more energy and confidence you will have.

51 – Look At The Incident From A Higher Perspective (Become The Superior Person)

You have to look at this situation as an ADULT. Understand this, narcissists are what I like to call kidults. They throw temper tantrums simply because they cannot regulate their emotions.

Yes, they may have done us harm, but we have to see them as kids in adult bodies; kidults!

Could you really stay mad at a kid?

52 – Be Kind To Yourself (You Are Only Human)

This is yet another of the tips that I personally use. I have come to learn to forgive myself and to be kind to myself. I know after my separation, I felt LIKE A FOOL.

And I saw the signs, but I ignored the red flags.

Learning to forgive me and just accepting what happened. I have been able to move on. Day by day.

53 – Take More Breaks

Take yourself out for a date once in a while. If you are at work, head off to your favorite cafe instead of going to the worker’s lounge. Give yourself a break from people, it will do you a world of good.

And also, it will reveal to you certain people who really do not matter to you as much as your thoughts. If you can give people a break for a month and feel like you can go for the rest of your life without them, that is a clear sign, it is time to move on from them.

54 – Turn Your Time WIth The Narcissist Into A Time Of Training

By changing your perspective on time with the narcissist, you will see that the time was there to make you stronger, wiser, and better. I like to see time with them as training me for the war that is called life.

They were the hard generals (which we don’t need to like or respect) to make us ready for FUTURE SUCCESS. Because success is not hard to gt, and it is not easy to maintain.

You have to be strong.

55 – See Stress As A Gym For Your Emotional Strength

Much like going to the gym and lifting up heavy weights, doing so will increase your muscle mass. Dealing with a rise in narcissist your skin. You get thick skin in a world where most people are paper-thin fragile.

56 – See Yourself As A Superhero

Batman is easily my favorite superhero of all time. And this is because he is a man who has turned his tragedy into his strength.

He deals with an assortment of deranged NARCISSISTIC VILLIANS, with Joker being the biggest narcissist of his Rogue Gallery.

Batman is my favorite superhero because, despite the chaos, they ring in his life…HE KEEPS FIGHTING ON. 

57 – Exercises

Exercising has been shown to have a myriad of benefits on our physical health but also our mental and psychological health.

58 – Go Hiking

This is just a personal favorite of mines and something I do myself. Hiking and climbing to HIGHER HEIGHTS are very symbolic. Instead of roaming around on the bottom, the ground, I climb higher and higher. And as a climb, I get to see the are around me in a new perspective.

59 – Learn Fishing/ Go Fishing

I personally am a vegetarian pushing to becoming a vegan. But I have often heard how peaceful and relaxing fishing can be. So you may want to try and give this a go.

And of course, put the fish back after you have caught it. 😉

60 – Start Learning Philosophy (Stoicism Preferably)

If ever there as a philosophy that I believe would be able to instill in you the strength to overcome your current situation (after leaving your narcissists), it would have to be stoicism.

Stoicism is:

“Stoicism has just a few central teachings. It sets out to remind us of how unpredictable the world can be. How brief our moment of life is. How to be steadfast and strong and in control of yourself. And finally, the source of our dissatisfaction lies in our impulsive dependency on our reflexive senses rather than logic.” – Daily Stoic  

Let Go Of Anxiety

61 – Learn BJJ/ Judo/ Aikido

Brazilian Jui Jitsu, Judo, and Aikido are great martial arts that help you not only defend yourself but do so in a way that always keeps you CALM and in control of yourself as well as your opponent. You turn their attack against them.

62 – Each Day Strengthen Yourself by Doing Something That Makes You Scared (Baby Steps Of Course)

By merely stepping into the things you are scared to do, you inch closer and closer into the realm of bravery.

63 – Allow Yourself To Scream

Let the fear and anxiety…OUT!!!

Yell, because it releases the tension in your body.

64 – Fire Ritual (Write Out Your Anxiety And Pain And Burn It In The Fire)

Much like the hiking tip. This is more symbolically than anything else. By writing out your anxiety on paper and burning it up, it is a small step in the right direction of taking back your life…one day at a time.

65 – Start To Be More Assertive in Life (Learn To Say No)

Learn to say NO. Learn to say NO.

Listen.

LEARN TO SAY NO. 

Who cares if someone’s feelings get hurt. Should you feel hurt just because someone else will get hurt if you CANNOT DO SOMETHING FOR THEM.

You own nobody ANYTHING.

Learn to say NO.

Check out “The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance, and Happiness

Synopsis

How many times have you heard yourself saying yes to the wrong things—overwhelming requests, bad relationships, time-consuming obligations? How often have you wished you could summon the power to turn them down? This lively, practical guide helps you take back that power—and shows that a well-placed “No” can not only save you time and trouble, it can save your life.

66 – Start Hitting The Bags (Build up Your Courage)

Being able to hit a bag not only lets out that frustration, but it also helps you learn how to attack. And being ready to attack is a great way to get rid of your anxiety.

67 – Take Responsibility For Your Happiness (Know That You Are Responsible For Your Happiness)

Know that YOU are responsible for how you feel. By telling yourself that others need to affirm yourself, you are giving away your power.

68 – Find Out Why You Are So Anxious

Discover what event in your life made you feel anxious early on. You may be anxious by nature, but often, it is an event that triggers this way of feeling. Once you discover that, you will be able to uproot it and plant something better.

69 – Use Natural Soothing Oils

Not too dissimilar to aromatherapy, essential oils can relieve stress and anxiety. So next time you go for a full body massage, try getting an oil massage.

70 – It’s Okay To Be Scared; Without It, You Couldn’t Be Brave

There is no bravery without fear. Remember that.

71 – Spend Time Alone Each Day To Recuperate

Whether it be an hour, 30-minutes, or just five minutes to YOURSELF…gve yourself time to just simply recuperate.

72 – Forgive Yourself

I mentioned earlier how forgiving myself truly freed me of my past. We are only human. We are meant to make mistakes.

No.

Not mistakes.

We are meant to learn lessons.

73 – Know That You May Often Time Romanticize The Past

Now I am not suggesting that the time with the narcissists wasn’t all bad. But what I am suggesting is that often times we romanticize ourselves as being really stupid when in actuality we did what we thought was best at that time.

74 – Learn To Trust Yourself

In learning to trust yourself, you will be able to be much more confident, thus easily removing anxiety from the equation.

75 – Understand That You Cannot Change The Past

The sheer fact that the past is the past and there is nothing you can do to change it gives you the strength to change the present and this your future. You are anxious because of the past.

Realize it for what it is and learn from it.

76 – You Don’t Need To Fear The Future

Your future does not need to be like your past. Take control of your present, by being aware and mindful, and your future can be what you want it to be.

77 – Be Compassionate With Yourself

See yourself and talk to yourself as if you would to your child.

This is something I do even now as a Man.

78 – Stop Apologizing When You Haven’t Done Anything Wrong

Say “Excuse my ignorance,” “It’s a shame you feel that way,” and “that’s unfortunate.”

Stop saying sorry to people when you haven’t done anything wrong. As this only intensifies your anxiety.

79 – Accept Change In Your Life

Change is NOT a bad thing. Learn how to adapt and flow with the changes in time.

80 – Broaden Your Mind

Learn new things. I have discovered that the more I educate myself, the less angry, anxious, and stressed out I was before. Education is not as saddening as many would say it is.

I have found that it has liberated me from my anxiety.

Because if I don’t know anything…I can always LEARN something.

Let Go Of Shame

81 – Reconnect With Your Inner Child

Get back in touch with your inner child. Let them know that they are loved and that they are stronger than they really know. Often times, we still feel shame in life because our inner child has been taught that.

82 – Forgive Yourself For Allowing The Abuse

More than anyone else in this world, the person who always needs an apology from us, is ourselves. Forgive yourself for going through and allowing the abuse.

83 – Learn To Laugh at Yourself

Learning to laugh at yourself takes so much shame off your back. We all do stupid things in life.

Damnit, I know. I have made so many stupid mistakes in life. But I look at them now and just laugh.

You have to stop taking life so dangerous because we only get one go at this.

84 – Understand There Is No Such Thing As Perfection

Perfection is not a thing. Even the universe is imperfect.

85 – Avoid Rumination

When you catch yourself ruminating, bring yourself back into the present by focusing on a present-day goal (remember to have a schedule).

86 – Remember To Stay In The Present (The Greatest Gift Ever)

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But Today is a gift….that’s why it is called the present.” – Master Oogway

87 – Stop Caring What Others Think

Excuse the explicit language in the quote from “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck” By Mark Manson.

Wait!

No, don’t excuse it — or do.

I frankly don’t give a f*ck. 😉

“You and everyone you know are going to be dead soon. And in the short amount of time between here and there, you have a limited amount of f*cks to give. Very few, in fact. And if you go around giving a f*ck about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice—well, then you’re going to get f*cked.”-  Mark Manson

88 – Know That Most Peoples Opinion Are Not Their Own

I had written an article called “Flying Monkeys Have No Minds Of Their Own“. Most people do NOT KNOW HOW TO THINK. So stop caring what these parrots keep reciting. What they say is not their own opinion.

89 – Accept Your Shameful Moments

Hey, we do stupid things. Accept it.

All successful people have done shameful things, but they keep moving on. That is why they are successful.

90 – Focus On Building A Strong Self-Esteem

Little by little. Day by day. Step by step.

Each day build your self-esteem.

91 – Read Autobiographies (All Great People Have Felt shame At Some Time)

Know that the greatest among us have had hard lives. Read the autobiographies of men and women, and you will see a life full of people who also had to live and deal with narcissistic people.

Narcissists are everywhere.

But here is my question.

If you had a story, would anyone want to read it?

Make sure you have a story that inspires the next generation.

92 – Speak Your Daily Affirmations

Check out my “24 Amazing & Uplifting Quotes On Self-Love: Develop A Strong Self-Esteem.

93 – Know The Difference Between Opinion and Fact (It’s Not What They Think, It’s What You Know)

This is a phrase I often tell myself

It's not what others think of me that matters. It is what I know of myself that matters. Click To Tweet

94 – Learn To Appreciate Your Uniqueness

You are one of a kind. In all of existence, there is nobody like you who has, does, or will exist ever again. You need NOT live up to anyone’s expectation in life save but for yourself.

95 – Get An Objective Opinion

Tell someone about your story, but don’t tell them the story is about you to get their objective opinion about it.

96 – Turn Shame Into Compassion (Would You Tease Your Kid?)

Would you tease your kid if they did something shameful? Or would you be compassionate to them and UPLIFT THEM?

I am pretty sure it would be the latter and not the former.

97 – Let Your Shame Be Your Means To Transform

Let your shame be the cacoon that metamorphosis you into a beautiful butterfly.

98 – You Live For No One’s Amusement

You live for no one’s amusement. Remember that.

99 – Let People Laugh (Who Cares?)

Stop giving people power over how you feel about yourself. People make fun because they are trying to control you.

100 – Take It One Day At A Time

It will not come easy. But take all these steps.

One…Day…At…A…Time.

No Shame In Therapy

Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology. 

In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.

The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger. 

When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in. 

Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do. 

Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.

Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side. 

About Author

I call myself the Rational Humorist. Narcs to me are cancer to humanity. The only way to beat cancer is to fight back against it.

The best way to defeat a narc is to see them as the jokes they are.

(11) Comments

  1. Truly Inspiring!OMG, what an outstanding collection of ideas! Bravo, man these hundred things might just save my life!? Once again thank you for your time and efforts. I say to myself every morning you could always be worse, but then I was thinking that’s a lie? I felt like it could be worse, but now with new thoughts and ideas I realize it could have been much much worse? Also it could still be worse so now it’s time to turn the tide and changed my life helping people, as I’ve done before, button much different methods and ways! Thanks for saving a soul today! Once I save my mine I will be extremely motivated to help others oh, but I can’t help anyone until I am truly saved myself! This fabulous forum I feel will truly be life-saving! I cannot even put into words how much I appreciate this your time and efforts are above and beyond the Call of Duty as a human. So much appreciation thank you a million times over!

    Sincerely,

    Steve D

    1. Man, I appreciate that brother. And I appreciate you.

      Keep fighting — because a brighter tomorrow is just around the corner.

      I struggled for two years with EXTREME DEPRESSION and HATRED and pulled myself up and out.

      And now I want to help others.

      We have to be there for one another. Because narcissists and flying monkeys work together.

      Empaths have to unite.

      Wishing you well.

      And sending love your way.

      1. Mel burns says:

        Hoping I can be as upbeat and positive when I’m brave enough to leave my relationship with a narc

        1. It’s a fight to be happy every day.

          But it is a fight worth battling.

    2. You’re very welcome 🙂

  2. Apologies for grammar mistakes lol. English and grammar have never been my strong points, but science is and I feel a lot of science is in here! Science saves lives! Been proven over the centuries, science has saved Humanity! Now we need the higher power to help. also I pray for the souls that live in this drudgery of Life as a narcissist. For if they truly knew what they were doing, I highly doubt they would continue? They’re ruining lives and unbeknownst to them, they really don’t have a clue I believe? And if they do have a clue and do this purposely every dog has their day! However I do not wish bad things on anyone I’m sure there is a great reason why they are this way, but narcissism is evil in its highest form! Hoping one day I can get my self back? Today I am and I will start my journey blanking all negative thoughts out of my brain! God willing you will allow me!

    Many Thanks again,

    Steve D

    1. “Oh father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

      It’s very true narcissistic people are not as intelligent as they think they are. If only hey had a better understanding of themselves they could see that the life they live is just being wasted.

      I applaud you for not wishing ill will to them. I say the same thing.

      I wish you success and I am routing you on.

      I was where you were at as well.

    2. Kesha Bryan says:

      I am in exactly the same place. After 10 years and 2 kids, he finally discarded me when I’d known 4 a long time that I was compromising my dignity and ‘self’ for this relationship… and I did that for him and his happiness and to keep the idealistic view of a happy family alive for myself and the kids and him… I dont know who I am or what I feel atm… Totally lost… and would really really appreciate any info from any1 that can help kickstart my healing as I’m dying inside (and I’m a very strong person and have always been known as one and was proud that I was so strong) I dont know how I’ve become someone who is or feels soooooo weak… Totally lost.
      TIA for any responses given xxx

  3. Iliana Vilaire says:

    I do not feel anger because I know him for what he is and I know he cannot change what he is. I do need to learn to forgive myself for, I too, saw the red flags and I chose to ignore them time and again. Eight years with a man who put me down, criticized me, physically, emotionally and psychologically abused me. And I stayed and, when he kicked me out, I was the one that begged to come back for more. The last discard was almost 4 months ago; its the longest one and it is the last one. He has gone back to a previous discard (no surprise) because he cannot be alone.
    And, honestly, the only thing I feel is HURT. I am one giant ball of walking, talking, breathing hurt. I am like a wounded animal. How does one begin to move past the hurt?

    1. The hurt that you feel is normal. Believe me, you are not the only one who saw the red flags and stayed. You are not the only one who begged to go back to them. And you are not the only one who may feel like they are worthless.

      I say this NOT to devalue what you are going through but to let you know there are others out there like you and there are others who have HEALED.

      How I have healed and how I continue to strengthen myself is through educating myself.

      Do not beat yourself up over what has happened — you thought, at an emotional level, that maybe I can get to him; reach him.

      We are not taught about narcissism. And sadly, most of us never learn about them until only being with them.

      But focusing your time and energy on a topic you love — you can switch your thoughts and feelings.

      This is not hyperbole.

      By focusing your attention on something you love to do you will be able to rewire your brain and thus forget about your narc and move on to live a happier life.

      Rumination will KEEP you in the past.

      I know…I wasted a few good years ruminating and it has only caused me to miss out on SO MUCH.

    2. Kesha Bryan says:

      I am in exactly the same place. After 10 years and 2 kids, he finally discarded me when I’d known 4 a long time that I was compromising my dignity and ‘self’ for this relationship… and I did that for him and his happiness and to keep the idealistic view of a happy family alive for myself and the kids and him… I dont know who I am or what I feel atm… Totally lost… and would really really appreciate any info from any1 that can help kickstart my healing as I’m dying inside (and I’m a very strong person and have always been known as one and was proud that I was so strong) I dont know how I’ve become someone who is or feels soooooo weak… Totally lost.
      TIA for any responses x

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