If only the pain, anger, resentment, frustration, sorrow, and hurt would go away, could we learn to move on with life after narcissistic abuse? Narcissistic abuse hurts us while we are with the narcissist and long after we have left the narcissist.
Some people have become, so trauma bonded with their narcissist that the idea of going No Contact isn’t even a viable option. And for those who may have been discarded by the narcissist, the anger and the rage they feel can become so overwhelming.
Overwhelming to the point that it causes severe migraines and headaches due to stress.
For many, they really just want to move on with their lives. But the memories of the past are so strong, and the reoccurring nightmares only add more fuel to the fire.
So in this article, I have taken the liberty to outline 100 ways that you can let go of your hurt, your pain, your anger, and your sorrows and move on in life.
Life, no matter how bad the narcissist may have made yours, is a gift. And I am deadset determined to get people to start seeing this.
I know for many, they feel like they want to give up on life.
Just because you had a few dark chapters in your life doesn’t mean you cannot finish your story on a good end. And know this, that all great stories have climatic and devastating chapters in their stories.
Without the bad climatic elements, it wouldn’t be a story worth reading.
Disclaimer: This article includes affiliate links which I may receive a commission for.
100 Ways To Let Go
Let Go Of Anger
1 – Feel That Anger Fully
Quite often, many of us try to keep that anger buried within. We don’t want to let it out. And as a result, what it does is build up. Imagine your rage as soda, and you are the bottle that has been shaken. When you explode due to finally opening it up, you will discover that there is a colossal eruption.
Let that anger out now by:
- Yelling into your pillow
- Yelling out in nature
- Squeezing a stress ball
- Writing your thoughts out
- Joining a support group to rant
2 – Give Yourself A Rant Space
Joining a support group to just rant is a great way to get what you have off your chest. You have to understand that you are not the only one who has dealt with a narcissistic person in the past. By joining these groups, you will have people who actually understand the pain and suffering you may be going through.
One of the few things YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO is fight this inner battle alone. Reach out to others who, too, are suffering and learn to be each other hand up.
Reddit offers a support group where you can rant, reach out for opinions, and just let what is eating you away out.
Join here at Narcissistic Abuse
Also, I have a group to which you can also get support. You can let us know what is going on in your life.
You can join here Laughing At Narcs
Stop keeping those negative thoughts inside you. Don’t let them eat away at you.
3 – Remind Yourself that Anger Only Hurts You More Than Your Narcissist
Anger, in the end, only hurts you. Constantly waking up feeling negative instead of positive has a myriad of adverse effects on your physical health, NOT just your emotional health.
Ask yourself is being angry worth (read here about 7 Ways Anger Is Ruining Your Health):
- Stressing out
- Developing migraines
- Putting your heart at risk
- Ups the chance of you getting a stroke
- Weakening your immune system
- Boost your anxiety
- Leading to depression
- Causing problem for your lungs
- Shorten your lifespan
By staying angry at the narcissist, and I am not saying you have to love them, you are only doing the work of the narcissist for them. You are hurting yourself because of the narcissists. And that is what they want.
4 – Write Out A Letter (But Don’t Deliver It) To Your Narcissist
Abraham Lincoln used to write a letter to a person he believed had wronged him. He would write it out but never deliver it. A few days later, he would go back to the letter and read it with fresh eyes. In doing this, he would be able to see the situation from a new perspective.
Being able to see your time with the narcissist with a new perspective will have a monumental impact on your healing process. By learning to see the time with them as a time that TAUGHT you about you and people in the world, instead of just a time where you were hurt, you can move on from that “training” (which I like to call it) and become a better person because of it.
5 – Imagine The Event Playing Out MUCH WORSE (Negative Visualization)
Negative Visualization is:
[The Stoics] recommended that we spend time imagining that we have lost the things we value—that our wife has left us, our car was stolen, or we lost our job. Doing this, the Stoics thought, will make us value our wife, our car, and our job more than we otherwise would. This technique—let us refer to it as negative visualization—was employed by the Stoics at least as far back as Chrysippus. It is, I think, the single most valuable technique in the Stoics’ psychological tool kit. – A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy By William B. Irvine
This is a personal favorite technique of mines. I often think about how things could have gone far worse. I think of them taking so much more from me. Them setting me up for prison time. Them placing me in the hospital or worse.
By thinking of how much things COULD have been, it makes me less angry at what DID happen.
6 – Use A Stress Ball
Merely squeezing a stress ball can help you let out that anger in the physical world. And all without having to hurt anyone else.
Get your stress ball 👉 here.
7 – Wear A Rubber Band On Yor Wrist And Snap It Every Time You Get Angry
This is a technique that is catching a lot of flame of late. Place a rubber band on your wrist, and every time you feel yourself entering into a state of anger, pull the rubber band on your wrist and let it snap your wrist.
This is great on so many levels. You train yourself to have better control of your emotions. But the hallmark aspect of this technique is the symbolism.
I have already said that anger only hurts you, and the snap of the rubber band really helps to prove this even more.
8 – Remove Everything That Reminds You Of The Narcissist
Remove EVERYTHING in your life that reminds you of the narcissist. This is plain and simple. Get rid of their:
- Block them on Social Media
Remove everything in your life that will remind you of them.
9 – Change Your Environment
There are some people who feel like moving areas or leaving their toxic workplaces, toxic homes, and toxic environments is a sign of running away.
But tell me, would you live in Chernobyl because you thought you couldn’t find someplace better?
Hopefully, the answer is no.
So leave those environments for your own sake.
10 – Speak With A Therapist
So many of us have been so conditioned to believe seeing a therapist means we are crazy. The truth of the matter is that NOT seeing a therapist is crazy.
If you had a sore tooth, you would go to the dentists. If you had a pain in your body, you would go to the doctor.
So why not see someone who can help you with the pain in your mind (your thoughts).
Therapists will be able to offer you a new perspective that you may be too blind to see because of the anger you feel.
You know what they say about anger, “it is blinding“.
Sign up to Online-Therapy (this is my affiliate link) to speak with a therapist.