25 Things Narcissists Hate & Fear The Most

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Narcissists are not brave individuals. Despite their puffed up chest, they are scared little paper tigers that can easily be blown away by anyone who catches wind to their antics. In this article, I will go over 25 things narcissists hate & fear the most.

I think you will find that their fears and hatred are comical in nature, as well as superlatively pathetic. I often say that we have to laugh, NOT in a way that teases them, but laugh at their sheer absurdity. It is quite humorous to see that people can be in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and damn 80s and can still act like a child.

And don’t at me with that, “As we age we reverse back to childhood” NONSENSE.


As we age we are SUPPOSE to get better; NOT worse. The idea that it is okay to get old and become a child again instead of a, well becoming a LEADER FULL OF WISDOM DUE TO LIFE’S LESSONS, is frankly a stupid way of thinking and living out the rest of your life.

I am also quite aware that many people, as they age, develop different mental illnesses.

Understand this, mental illnesses can be hereditary but we also KNOW that many illnesses that we GAIN in life are developed of our OWN VOLITION.

What do I mean by this?

We Cause Ourselves So Much Needless and Preventable Pain

Check out this video with Dr. Dispenza on how our thoughts affect our health.

We are the ones who create these diseases for ourselves.

Working at stressful jobs, being around toxic people, staying in a narcissistic relationship and living out a stressful life are all ingredients for us developing many diseases that are otherwise…PREVENTABLE.

Stress kills” is not just a saying, but it is a reality. The more people stress out in life the easier it is for them to develop many mental illnesses, as well as physical illnesses.

Narcissistic people focus on negativity. This is why they get old and become some of the most cantankerous people you will ever come across.

“Get off mah lawn!”

“What are you looking at?”

The angry stereotypical old man who doesn’t want people on his yard is angry because he finally realized, “I have done NOTHING with my life. I have hurt so many people.”

And like a scared little animal out in the wild who is on edge because they think they will be eaten…so too are old narcissists. So scared that all the stuff they did in their life will come back to bite them later on in life.

This is why I CHAMPION the idea of MOVING ON and GOING NO CONTACT.

These narcissists will do themselves in for us.

Staying with them ONLY hurts us.

With this said, let’s jump on into the article.

25 Things Narcissists Hate & Fear The Most

The Top 10 Things Narcissists Fear

# 1 – Abandonment

If there is one thing that strikes fear in a narcissist it is abandonment. Think for a second and ask yourself these questions:

“Why do they always look for so many supplies?”

“Why do they enjoy discarding people?”

“And why do they go batshit insane when you don’t respond to a discarding?” (This is why I PREACH THE GOOD GOSPEL OF NO CONTACT. It is the best revenge)

The reason is that this is a major fear of theirs. And because most narcissists really aren’t as smart or evolved as they think themselves to be, they cannot wrap their heads around being at peace with themselves.

And this is because these people are sadly: “an existence of pure chaos”.

Peace, order, serenity are alien concepts to them.

# 2 – Criticism

These people will criticize you in a heartbeat on how you look, walk, talk, eat, sleep and take a dump. But “Heavens To Murgatroyd” if you “suggest” a slight change in their outfit for the office party.

“You saying I’m fat?” (When the outfit is clearly revealing the truth)

“Why you like this tie? Is it because John wore it. Huh? HUHHHHHHHH? (Foam coming out the mouth)

This fear that narcissistic people have in regards to criticism comes from them having an extremely weak and fragile ego. This is exactly why they constantly need to find errors and fault in everyone around them.

This is also why they feel a need to constantly compare others to someone else. In their minds, they cannot accept the fact that they may not be as good as they think/ or want.

So to defend their fragile egos they love to see other people fail and they love to sabotage others. They believe in their minds if they can get someone to fail it will damage their confidence.

Narcissistic people HATE CONFIDENT PEOPLE. Click To Tweet

# 3 – Betrayal

It is okay if they betray us because in their minds “everyone betrays everyone”.

(Check out my article on blameshifting/projecting)

We better make sure that we never betray them. Even after the dozens of times, they have done so to us…ON A DAILY BASIS.

This fear that they have of betrayal again is a result of their fragile egos. Being betrayed to them feels like we are saying they are not enough. And as we have already said, these people fear not being good enough, hence the need to have so many friends, flashy cars, nice clothes and plenty of supply.

They are addictive people.

# 4 – Humiliation

They hate the idea of being humiliated. This is why most of them are always scowling around. If they can look like they are someone NOT TO MESS WITH then nobody will mess with them.

Flawless logic.

They are in every sense of the word the missing link in our evolution. They are walking among us. This irrational fear of thinking everyone is out to make you look foolish or just wanting to hurt you is an UNEVOLVED way of thinking and living.

And yes, I know that there are many people out there like this. Hence is why I say “Narcissists aren’t as rare as we think they are.”

They are the missing link in our evolution. We can’t find it because they are standing right next to us. Being an empath is a step up in our evolution.

To them, humiliation means a sign of weakness. And like animals out in the wilderness, the moment they show weakness they will get eaten alive.

And humiliation is like being eaten alive by the eyes and opinions of PEOPLE THEY DON’T KNOW.

# 5 – Loneliness

I often say, “I can occupy the same space with people and still feel worlds apart”. Being around people doesn’t always mean you aren’t going to feel alone. In fact, this is perhaps the worse type of loneliness that one can ever feel.

Loneliness for a narcissist is like a hell. Because despite their “I’m so great” attitude, they don’t like themselves as much as they would like others to believe. Hence the constant need for attention and validation.

And what other way to keep from being lonely than but to stir up conflict and chaos. Have people hate you so they will keep thinking about you.

# 6 – Rejection

Narcissistic people are emotionally fragile. Rejection to them is literally like feeling burned, hence the phrase “oh, you got burned” when someone is rejected. The reason for this is because for some people being rejected light up the same areas of the brain where people who have been burned is located.

In a new study using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), researchers have found that the same brain networks that are activated when you’re burned by hot coffee also light up when you think about a lover who has spurned you. –

These people literally feel like they have been burned because of a rejection.


This is why I champion NO CONTACT. You get back at them for ALL the insanity they put you through and they destroy themselves without us even having to lay a hand on them.

# 7 – Being Disrespected

Because they feel like they are worthless — having someone disrespect them only validates and confirms that they really are worthless. And disrespect for them can come in many forms, which to us don’t really appear to be disrespectful.

Some incidents that they believe us being disrespectful are:

  • Not saying “hi” to them; even though they don’t show any signs they are looking for our attention
  • Having a life without them in it
  • Not giving them attention; despite the fact that they give the same lack of attention to us
  • Being happy (you know because happiness is a limited commodity that only certain people can have in life)
  • Just being us (How dare we be who we are and NOT what they want us to be)

You know the typical disrespectful things in life.

# 8 – Being Ignored

To ride around again back to the idea that narcissists are emotionally fragile beings. Being ignored has been shown to cause pain in people who are seeking attention. The same areas of the mind that are associated with pain light up in people who are feeling ignored or ostracized.

Their fear of being ignored makes them do some of the most batshit and bizarre things you will ever see in adults.

These are the people who will stalk, spread rumors, break-in into your house/apartment, verbally assault you and even physically assault you.

This is their way of showing they are hurt and because they are hurt you have to hurt. They are children at the highest caliber.

Like a child who doesn’t get attention from mommy and daddy draws on the walls. So to will, a kidult narcissist lashes out in all manners of ways.

I remember (a quick story from my own past) some narcissistic people I worked with who I wasn’t ignoring, but simply not acknowledging (because we didn’t NEED to talk at ALL) had tried to RUN INTO MY CAR to get my attention.

They tried to RUN INTO MY CAR before I moved out the way…just to get attention.

# 9 – Exposure

They are like Vampires. Being brought out into the lights will destroy them.


# 10 – Aging

I wrote an article on “The Fate Of The Aging Narcissists“. Narcissists are scared to grow old. They know they will lose their looks, charm, status, and most of all the will over others.

Like an old lion, they will be run off to die alone. And you know what, most of them end up in old folks homes with NO ONE BY THEIR SIDE.

Am I glorifying their end?


But this is a truth to how so many of these people end up.

The Top Ten Things Narcissists Hate

# 11 – A Person Who Has Self- Respect

Having self-respect will piss off a narcissist. And the reason for this is because they will not be able to hold you and forge you into a person that they want. This is exactly why they are always looking for people who are broken.

They love to pick these people because they are hurt and vulnerable. This is more the reason I preach laughing at narcissist.

See them for what they are.

Narcissists aren’t mighty lions. Graceful Eagles. Or Terrifying Orcas (screw shark).

They are vultures, hyenas, and piranhas.

They go after what is weak and helpless and stay as far away from those that are deemed strong.

Narcissists are cowards in every sense of the word. Click To Tweet

# 12 – A Person Who Knows Their Value

I wrote an article titled “Why The Narcissist Devalues Us“. I explain why they devalue us in a metaphorical way. They hate a person who knows their value because then they cannot have that person.


Because they know who they are is not enough to keep the person by their side. Instead of trying to reach higher in life, they will try and drag others down.

Know your worth and never let a narcissist tell you otherwise. Click To Tweet

# 13 – People Who They Think Are Successful

Narcissists fume at the idea that other people are successful in life. Which is why they are always trying to sabotage and tear others down. The phrase “keep your dreams to yourself” is not too far off and is very poignant.

Not all narcissistic people become successful. And we know this evident as so many narcissists are usually drunk off their posterior.


Drowning the pain.

Drowning their pain from being unsuccessful people.


# 14 – A Person Who Has Courage

Much like a person who has confidence, a person who has courage will NOT put up with their BS. I have taught myself to be courageous. Because courage, like confidence, are SKILLS that must be learned.

# 15 – People Who Have Dignity: The Power Of Humanity Compels You

Dignity, integrity, morality is anathema to the narcissist. These traits are like holy water to them.

“The power of humanity compels you. The power of humanity compels you.”

Narcissists: Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

# 16 – Your Pet (Yes, I Am Not Lying)

They will not only kick your cat but they will beat your dog, starve the puppies and stomp on the kittens. These people have NO BOUNDARIES.

They just don’t care.

# 17 – Your Children

If you have kids then these kidults WILL fight them for your attention. Like a four-year-old who just meets the newborn baby. They will grow jealous OF THE KIDS.

They’re the babies gotta love them?

Get the reference?

If not check out this video to jog your memory.

# 18 – Your Family

They will try and isolate you from your family. I have had many friends of mine lose touch with their family because of their narcissistic relationship.

# 19 – Your Friends

Not too dissimilar to your family, kids, and pets. They will not want you hanging out with your friends as much because they think they will take you away from them.

# 20 – Your Exes

“Was he BIGGER than me.”

Oh, poor poor insecure narcisistic male.

“You still thinking about that skank.”

Oh, poor poor narcissistic female.

They just never seem to be good enough.

Things Narcissists Fear and Hate

# 21 – Their Mortality

Narcissists know they are not going to be here forever. This is why they try and damage as much as they can.

“If I can’t get credit for this…NOBODY CAN.”

Like a small child on the beach who destroys another kid’s sandcastle.

These people NEVER GROW UP.

# 22 – Being Forgotten

The reason that so many of these narcissists go on such smear campaigns and try and do as many nasty things as they can is that they are scared of being forgotten. The only way that they believe they can be remembered is by doing bad things.

Again they are the kids who will draw on walls, dirty up the kitchen and destroy stuff around the house because this is the only way they will not be forgotten.

The actions of a narcissist are not too dissimilar to a kid.

# 23 – F.O.M.O (Fear Of Missing Out)

Their fear of missing out is an addiction. This is why they send their flying monkeys to keep tabs on you.

“Oh, “so n so” says hi.”

“Oh, they miss you so much.”

So are you seeing anybody?”

They may discard you but they are still watching you like the stalkers and vultures they are.


These people think they are in a 90s sitcom family show.

“You got it, dude.”

And the crowd laughs and says ahh in their twisted minds.

They believe they are on a TV show and they are the breakout child.

Everything they do is just cute and humorous.

The reality is that they are grown adults who just don’t want to grow up and they are terrible of taking responsibility for their actions like an adult.

Hence the blame-shifting and projecting.

# 25 – Themselves

The greatest thing that narcissists fear and HATE the most in life…is themselves. Behind the bravado is nothing more than a person who is so out of tune with themselves. The way that they act only reveals that they are people so disassociated with themselves.

They hurt others because deep down they are hurt. They make people envious and jealous because deep down they are easily led to feeling envious and jealous.

And they lash out at the world because that is the only they feel like they can get attention. Because just being themselves would garner them NO ATTENTION.

Sign up here with my affiliate link to take this 21-Day Challenge. It takes 21 days to form a habit. So why not create a new habit?

When The Narcissist Tries To Come Back In Your Life Meme

Credit to this meme goes to Weld Together, you can check out her articles at her blog linked here.

Laughter is the best medicine. Feel free to send in any of your memes, as they can end up in my next article.

We laugh NOT to tease… but to heal.

No Shame In Therapy

Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology. In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.

The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger. 

When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in. 

Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do. 

Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.

Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side. 

Need Peer Support? Download Wearemore app to vent, get support, or just talk with others who are going through what you are going through!

About Author

I call myself the Rational Humorist. Narcs to me are cancer to humanity. The only way to beat cancer is to fight back against it.

The best way to defeat a narc is to see them as the jokes they are.

(7) Comments

  1. Stacey natale says:

    I was with my ex narc for 13 years this man destroyed me in everyway he got shot and i took care 9f him for 2 and half years the first 8 years i was with him he didnt speak to his family even after being shot so i guess i was in place of them he has money so he can use it against you and hold it over your head at first he uses it to act like you are in things together had me pick out cabin for 2 years iblooked at five thousand houses with him we were a we then it was all a show i guess not to me it wasnt then at 50 he started cheating behindcmy back only to blame me then he threw me away because he started talkjing to his family again so for last 3 years of our relationship i was treated like a maid or dog or nothing at all being jealous falesly turned into not caring at all planning trips canceling them on me then going without me meeting a girl there with buddies and inviting her to come stay at his csbin shes married and a singer but at t8me he didnt know that so he invited them both because she afmires him and he loves that of course she does he treats her like shes the queen of england while i get charged for everything now and broke up with once a month for dumb reasins until finally thrown away all together then hes on pirn sites telling women how beautiful they are fetting disgusting pics and when i confronted him because r8ght in front of me her face kept popping up on phone i was crazy yet he was telling friends how he wanted to fly her in here mind you shes only 20 if real so i was told finally they were getting know eachother and she would be here soon our life our memories me taking care of him wiping his ass changing his woynds daily none if that counted i was nobody nothing and weird and crazy and a stalker after 13 years and i only wanted money it was almost like waking up in nightmare now he doesnt soeak to me at all because god forbid he admit to making a mistake what would people say dont know what hapoened with fake girl ever bit of course shes not here but hes hit on anything with a pulse anyway im history to him idk i just dobt get any of how they can live with themselves it makes me so sick

    1. This is the mindset of narcissists. They can take no responsibility for their actions. They will place blame on others. They will do us wrong and then say we are crazy.

      They are like grown children.

      You may not see it know but once you heal you will come to see that him leaving is a blessing in disguise.

  2. Allison says:

    I was raised by an entire family of narcissists and they abused me my whole life then when I finally became a mother very late in life, they abused my son and scapegoated us both. My narcissistic 88 year old mother assaulted my son many times, once I pulled her off of him and she told everyone we were on top of her. My brother and sister assaulted me and my son and they completely lie about it. My oldest sister isn’t physically abusive just extremely passive aggressive and believes all of their lies. My son and I went no contact in January and I can tell you it’s the only way to truly become joyful and whole again. My regret is that for financial reasons I stayed in the narcissistic mothers home too long. We didn’t ever need her. I just didn’t realize how well we would do without her. I hear now that she cries to people how much she misses us. Yet, she discarded us with a protective order after assaulting us and lying about it. I’m super relieved looking back that she did the PO. She’s nuts and I see it so clearly now. Not a mother, just a biological life giver. I can’t even call her my mother anymore. If you know a narcissist, then you know I’m not being unkind and I’m not exaggerating how bad they are. And so dishonest! And yes they do their best to steal from you whatever they can. It’s pathetic. But I won’t waste anymore of my energy thinking of them. They never deserved us. My son and I are doing very well now. He’s a 4.0 student and thinking pre-med! I’m a happy property manager and singer who loves to be a full-time mom. We are relieved and happy to be 100% no contact with ALL of them. Narcissistic people are extremely toxic. Get out and be 100% no contact! It’s the best and only way!

    1. So very happy for you and moving on. You are so right that moving away from them is when happiness begins. Your story could inspire many people.

  3. Nicely put. I’ve sent this to my daughter. She’s with a bi-polar, narcissist. It breaks my heart. She keeps saying, “mom u taught us unconditional love, and everyone deserves to be loved. ” I respond, yes that includes u. He self harms which scares me. He has scars down his face from slashing himself with hunting knives. Last spring he stabbed/slashed himself in the chest over his heart so bad he needed many stitches. I hope ur article helps her. Its very good thank you.

    1. My heart goes out to you and your daughter. And to the guy as well. He seems like he has NPD, not narcissism (as they are different).

      I applaud your daughter for having such a heart.


      We are human. And as I often say, we get ONE GO AT THIS THING CALLED LIFE.

      Is it fair to give up this GIFT (because life is a gift) to save someone who is HELLBENT ON NOT BEING SAVED?

      I understand that Bipolar and NPD are mental illnesses — but if he really wants to change and he really loves your daughter then he might want to speak with a therapist.

      Bipolar can be treated.

      I hope your daughter also finds this article helpful.

      I can imagine the conversations he has with your daughter. He probably says he will kill himself if she leaves him or that he will hurt himself if she walks out on him.


      And that is a form of abuse, even if she isn’t being physically harmed.

      Praying for the best (for everyone)!

  4. Seneah says:

    I am waiting for my estranged younger sister to need, need, need a victim again. She has no clue that I have learned what to do . She will be so freaked out and yeah, she will cry. She hates that. When she sees she cant touch me in any way, physically and emotionally she will go to the bar and drink until she can’t shit or go blind. She is so lovely . UGH !

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