What Is Love?
This is not an easy question to answer, “Can Narcissist Change With Tough Love“?
It’s a difficult question to answer because of the answer that will be given!
There are many of us out there who are in a relationship with a narcissist. We are holding on to this idea that if we are tough on the narcissist in our life that they will change for the better.
Many of us have been fooled and duped into believing that love can change everything for the better!
But this is a very blinding idea that causes so many of us to stay with toxic people for much longer than we should!
Many of us hold on to this idea that if they become what we think the narc wants, then the narc will also change.
And many of us are pining on to this idea that the narcissist can…love.
If you are holding on to this idea that your narc will love you…I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but they won’t.
And here is why.
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Will A Narcissist Ever Find True Love
I want you to imagine for a second two people lost out in the jungle.
One person has a bottle filled to the brim with water.
The other person has a bottle but has almost no water in it.
The one person who has the filled bottle offers some water to the person whose container is almost running dry.
The person who is running out of water is “grateful” or appears to be grateful. The person who lacks water feels like the person who saved them is “their” savior.
So they latch on to them, and they seem like they can’t live without them.
I mean, how could they?
If it weren’t for the person giving them some water, they might have very well died.
The two people stay together for a few days until they run into a group of people with food and water.
The person who was saved now ditches the person who saved them earlier on. They now latch on to the leader of the group who has food and water.
The person who saved them is confused but goes their way.
Right before they leave, they look at the bottle of the person who had almost no water and discovers something.
The bottle had holes drilled into it.
Can Narcissist Change With Tough Love?
The story above is meant to illustrate that narcs only stay with people for one thing. And that is because the people they are with offers them supply.
Once someone else comes along and can offer them more supplies, they will leave their partner ASAP.
(Tell me, what do you think the drilled holes represent?)
Narcs do not love in the same way that rational and reasonable people view love.
To them, they don’t have the emotional capacity to feel love. And this has been shown in many brain scans.
People with NPD have less brain mass, and as a result, they cannot empathize when a person lacks “empathy” that automatically takes from them the ability to feel love.
Love is a feeling that allows us to care about someone like we care about our selves. And in many cases, love makes us care about people more than we care about ourselves.
With narcs, they cannot do this.
And as much as you may not like to hear this…A Narc Will NEVER LOVE YOU even with tough love, faithful love, or with sacrificial love.
You can give them the world, and they will still NOT love you.
Don’t give up your world for them.
No Shame In Therapy
Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology.
In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.
The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger.
When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in.
Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do.
Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.
Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side.