Blogs

Walking Away Is A Strength

Image

For many people, the idea of walking away from a narcissistic relationship can feel very much like a defeat. It can feel like we are letting people walk all over us.

It is natural when we have been wronged to want to seek justice. And it is natural for us to want to get revenge.

The old aphorism, “revenge is the sweetest joy,” can seem very appealing.

Heck, I know myself.

The dreams that we have about getting revenge can feel so…good.

But revenge with a narc is not justice. It is not getting back at them. And it is not in any way shape or form…a way to heal.

With a narc, the worse thing that you can ever do to them is to…walk away.

And I know…I know…this is NOT what you WANT to hear.

But it is something you NEED to hear.

Note: This blog may contain affiliate links (which I will remind you of once again when you get there). It is my goal to help as many people become aware of narcs, so feel free to hit the red button on the side to subscribe and get access to my most recent blog post. I also want to help many people heal from their narc relationship. If you find anything that I have written poignant, please share. 

When You Walk Away, It Is A Victory Not A Defeat

“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster… for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss also gazes into you.”? Friedrich W. Nietzsche

I am a firm believer and practitioner of BEING ME. I think there is no greater defeat that I can ever face in life…than but to become my enemy.

A narc’s favorite thing to do is to keep people from moving on or achieving anything in life.

“For Click To Tweet

The narcissist takes great pleasure in having people think about them, even if the thoughts are bad. This is because they need attention… ALL OF THE TIME.

Narcs need constant attention and validation. They don’t know how to function if they don’t have attention. Narcs are, as I have stated many times, like children.

They are the small kid who draws on walls just to get the attention of their parent.

When you lash out at a narc and get into a verbal fight with them, you are actually doing what they want.

You are feeding their ego.

To a narcissist, if they can get you angry, upset, anxious, or emotional…they are winning. And they are succeeding because they are controlling your emotions.

When you walk away from a narcissistic person, you are taking back your life and energy.

By not feeding into their drama…you win.

You win this battle that you didn’t even know you were fighting because you don’t feed the narc. And when a narc is devoid of supply and attention, they die inside.

Win By Not Fighting

Narcs are incapable of loving someone other than themselves. The more you try and change them, the more time you waste.

Narcs will never love anyone but themselves. And what makes things worse is that they get pleasure from causing people to suffer.

They love the idea that we love them and in withholding love from us that it hurts us.

They are irrational people. 

When you walk away from them, you take back your pride, your dignity, your integrity…but most of all, you take back your self.

And when you can save you from them…that is a victory unlike anything else in this life.

Walking away is NOT a sign of weakness.

Walking away is the greatest sign of strength. 

Because when you have a narcissist, along with their flying monkeys, trying to hold you BACK and you decide to keep moving FORWARD, that shows you are powerful beyond measure.

Most people give in into the trolling.

Move on in life because the narc will only keep you down and back in life.

Stay strong. Live happily. And always love yourself as much as you would love someone else.

Feel free to read more of my blogs if you found this helpful, with my most popular article being THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO TO A NARCISSIST.

No Shame In Therapy

Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology. 

In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.

The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger. 

When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in. 

Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do. 

Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.

Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side. 

About Author

I call myself the Rational Humorist. Narcs to me are cancer to humanity. The only way to beat cancer is to fight back against it.

The best way to defeat a narc is to see them as the jokes they are.

(3) Comments

  1. Brenda says:

    *Please accept my apologies in advance. I did not intend for my post to be so long but honestly I found it very therapeutic.

    I left my husband in March. I could not take anymore of his imaginary world. After reading article after article about narcs only loving themselves, I question if he is truly a narcissist. Because not only does he love himself he adores his mother more. And she enables his behavior.
    I lived with this man for 4 years before we married and have been living with him for a total of 9. I always knew him to be sensitive, crying at sad movies, he would get his feelings hurt easily. And in the beginning I loved how much he loved his mother. After we were engaged he expressed wanting to have a wedding with our family and friends, when I was content with going to the courthouse. He often joked that he was the girl in our relationship.
    But our relationship changed.
    His behavior started with lying by omission. Once I discovered the deceit our marriage started to circle the drain.
    About a year ago we attempted couples therapy. Going home with him after these sessions started a war in our house. It seemed my openness and honesty took a toll. He began to make up stories during our therapy sessions. I couldn’t believe it the first time it happened. He hates being viewed as the bad guy so I assume he felt he had no choice but to create these stories to use during our therapy sessions. He also made me feel crazy by telling me I was remembering things wrong. It began with little things, maybe something I said a week ago or something he claimed to share with me.
    I started to feel like I needed to carry a recorder with me to capture evidence to show I remembered things correctly and prove to him he was a liar.
    I have suffered from anxiety and depression for years, even before I met him. He tells me my medication must be the culprit of my memory loss.
    After an ultimatum he gave me in front of our therapist, I gave up on counseling. This is when the threats of kicking me out of the house started.
    His argument with me was that I was not giving him the attention he needed and he was unhappy.
    He didn’t realize marriage would be “like this”.
    Eventually I ran across some emails. He forgot to close his gmail account and I’m ashamed to say I invaded his privacy but it was the only way to find out what he was up to. I found nothing in the inbox but something made me check the outbox. This is where I discovered emails he sent to women on Craigslist. It seemed to be a sort of hook up page.
    After that, I knew I had to leave. But I also knew I had to make him believe I was leaving because of his threats to kick me out. So I packed and looked for an apartment and during this process I continued to live with him. I was planning on sleeping in our guest room but he wouldn’t allow it. ???
    He wanted me to sleep in our bed.
    Eventually the day came when I signed my lease and was going to spend my first night at my new place. It so happened it was on his 37th birthday. Of course I got hassle for that because he made it about him and felt I was ruining his day. I needed to get out of there. The energy in our home was dark and heavy. I wasn’t going to wait another day.
    Before I left our home, I told him I knew about Craigslist and this was the reason I was leaving and I was tired of living with threats and lies.
    I was not leaving because he wanted me to. Of course, I received no apology because this was my fault. He needed to get attention from other women and claims he never actually met up with anyone and just exchanged steamy messages with these women.
    The problem I am dealing with now is missing him and believing maybe I was not being a supportive wife.
    I love my husband. But, I also believe my husband may be suffering from narcissism or hell, maybe I am!
    We had good times but when I wasn’t praising him enough, or engaging with his stories of how great a job at work he did and how he was sure he impressed his boss or even my lack of initiating sex, it would start, the silent treatment and when I would ignore him just as much as he did me, I was the monster that didn’t love him anymore.
    He has been going to therapy on his own for at least six weeks now and has ask me to consider going back to marriage counseling.
    I intend to go to at least one session but deep down I know he will not change and this breaks my heart.

    1. Reason87 says:

      There is no need for an apology. This is what this website os for — to learn, heal and speak your mind.

      This is something I am seeing many people, myself included BEFORE, do; think they are the narcissist.

      The narcissist has a great way of projecting the wrongs they do to us and make us out to be the bad guys.

      They can make us think we are doing them wrong when they are the culprits.

      You are not a narcissist and the reason is that you QUESTION and feel empathy even after all he did.

      And I know you think because he is going to therapy that he may not be one but to a narc EVERYTHING is a game.

      He does this to plant seeds of doubts in you.

      Everything you said about him to me appears to be him being a COVERT NARC.

      These narcs are not outright loud and rude but they are subtle. They are shy and they are the ones who use gaslighting, blameshifting and projecting A LOT.

      Check out my article on the different types of narcs. https://laughingatnarcs.com/index.php/blogs-narcissist/

      But I want to applaud you for LEAVING HIM. No contact will be hard but stay strong.

      You are not in the wrong and the more time you stay away from him the clearer it will be what he really is.

      Don’t fall for the hoovers as well.

      Stay strong.

  2. Bernard says:

    thank you.. that is all I can say..

Leave a Reply