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This Is Why The Malignant Narcissist Devalues Us

Why The Narc Devalues Us

This is why the Malignant Narcissist devalues us.

For those of us who have been in a relationship with a narcissist, it is not uncommon for many of us to feel like we were nothing. We can feel like we were expendable.

Narcs have a fantastic ability to make us feel like we are less than. And they do this in many ways. Some of the ways they do this is by:

  • gaslighting us (denying our reality)
  • projecting on us (they will do wrong and THINK we are doing the same thing)
  • blame shifting (everything that they do wrong, is our fault)
  • invalidating our pain
  • ignoring our messages
  • telling us how worthless we are
  • etc. (the list can go on)

Narcissists are irrational people, and their twisted insanity somehow can be passed on to us when we stay with them for long periods of time.

And once that happens — we start to see our worth as less than.


Narcs do this (devalue us) because they know how valuable we are. And they do this NOT to make us go away…but to keep us in their clutches.

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The Narc Devalues Us Because

I want you to imagine this for a second. A man walks into a pawn shop with a very rare antique. This antique cannot be found anywhere else in the world.

The man that comes into his shop, however, is in desperate need of money. He needs supply to build his Engine steam (hint- hint).

The pawnshop owner, seeing the value in the antique — and NOT wanting this guy to go elsewhere, commence to point out all the flaws in the antique.

He tells the guy that it is in bad shape, but “from the kindness of my heart, I will give you such and such. If you go elsewhere, they will pay you LESS. What I am giving you…this is A LOT. You should appreciate it.”

The guy not understanding the real value of his Engine steam gives in to the pawn owner and gets far less than he would have had he went elsewhere.

They Devalue Us Because They Don’t Want To Know Our Value

Understand this; Narcs are like the pawnshop owner. They don’t want you to know your worth because you will leave them and go someplace where your worth will be appreciated.

Quick note: Appreciation also means to increase in value (definition number 3 of the term). Hence is why they never want you to go out with others (having friends, or even family, visit you)

Narcissists devalue us so that they can keep us. Click To Tweet

To them, to lose us is truly a loss. And not an emotional loss but just a materialistic loss.

Know that these people do not see us as humans but as objects; hence is why they treat us the way they do.

If you are dealing with a narcissist who devalues you and you want revenge…the best thing to do is to LEAVE THEM and GO NO CONTACT.

You get back your worth, and you take from them something they secretly find very valuable.

We are valuable.

And never let a narc tell you otherwise.

About Author

I call myself the Rational Humorist. Narcs to me are cancer to humanity. The only way to beat cancer is to fight back against it.

The best way to defeat a narc is to see them as the jokes they are.

(4) Comments

  1. Diane Mann says:

    I am so confused about the difference between a Narcissist and a Sociopath! I have been going through hell living with my husband for the last 13 years. I have gained more knowledge from reading this blog . Thank you! I will continue to look for more from you and maybe find a way to get out of here !

    1. Reason87 says:

      Thank you for commenting. I will be writing an article in the coming future about the differences between a Narcissist, psychopath, and sociopath. I feel for you and I know how many people live with these people. It can be…draining, to say the least.

      I hope my articles can help give you a better understanding of the narc as well as the strength to try and move on.

      Stay bless. Stay strong. And be Happy.

  2. My husband fell off a ladder in our garage. I found him a few seconds later with his head badly bleeding. I could not remember where my phone was and I got a phone from one of the men working on our house and called 911. I could see my husband had been mortally injured and as the ambulance drove away with him, I picked up his phone to call his daughter from the hospital to let her know. When I got to the hospital they took me to a little room to wait. They said a doctor would be in soon to talk with me. I picked up my husband’s phone to call his daughter and my eyes fell onto the screen and a conversation he had been having about a woman about a sexual massage he wanted, blah, blah, blah and they had arranged to meet the next day. I was stunned. There were many women, many conversations, many dates and I never would have known except that his phone was unlocked when he fell. He died the next day. Everybody says he was a wonderful man. Now, each day, I find out more and more things he lied about. I would never have known, except for his phone. He was the consummate narcissist, convincing, blaming others for his failures, charming, moody, and, of course, unfaithful. I later discovered he had posted on a dating site with his PICTURE and our location which is a medium sized town. My God, we had a friend on the dating site! He liked women who were successful, he wrote……………………sure, so while she is working long hours, paying the bills, so he can have lots of free time to seduce other women.

    1. Reason87 says:

      Wow! Really sorry to hear all of this.

      This really sounds like a very difficult situation.

      I hope you are reaching out to support groups.

      You don’t have to deal with this alone.

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