This is why the Malignant Narcissist devalues us.
For those of us who have been in a relationship with a narcissist, it is not uncommon for many of us to feel like we were nothing. We can feel like we were expendable.
Narcs have a fantastic ability to make us feel like we are less than. And they do this in many ways. Some of the ways they do this is by:
- gaslighting us (denying our reality)
- projecting on us (they will do wrong and THINK we are doing the same thing)
- blame shifting (everything that they do wrong, is our fault)
- invalidating our pain
- ignoring our messages
- telling us how worthless we are
- etc. (the list can go on)
Narcissists are irrational people, and their twisted insanity somehow can be passed on to us when we stay with them for long periods of time.
And once that happens — we start to see our worth as less than.
Narcs do this (devalue us) because they know how valuable we are. And they do this NOT to make us go away…but to keep us in their clutches.
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The Narc Devalues Us Because
I want you to imagine this for a second. A man walks into a pawn shop with a very rare antique. This antique cannot be found anywhere else in the world.
The man that comes into his shop, however, is in desperate need of money. He needs supply to build his Engine steam (hint- hint).
The pawnshop owner, seeing the value in the antique — and NOT wanting this guy to go elsewhere, commence to point out all the flaws in the antique.
He tells the guy that it is in bad shape, but “from the kindness of my heart, I will give you such and such. If you go elsewhere, they will pay you LESS. What I am giving you…this is A LOT. You should appreciate it.”
The guy not understanding the real value of his Engine steam gives in to the pawn owner and gets far less than he would have had he went elsewhere.
They Devalue Us Because They Don’t Want To Know Our Value
Understand this; Narcs are like the pawnshop owner. They don’t want you to know your worth because you will leave them and go someplace where your worth will be appreciated.
Quick note: Appreciation also means to increase in value (definition number 3 of the term). Hence is why they never want you to go out with others (having friends, or even family, visit you)
To them, to lose us is truly a loss. And not an emotional loss but just a materialistic loss.
Know that these people do not see us as humans but as objects; hence is why they treat us the way they do.
If you are dealing with a narcissist who devalues you and you want revenge…the best thing to do is to LEAVE THEM and GO NO CONTACT.
You get back your worth, and you take from them something they secretly find very valuable.
We are valuable.
And never let a narc tell you otherwise.