I regret ignoring the Relationship Red flags with my ex-narc, and for a while, I felt like an idiot. I felt like an idiot because I saw the signs; I heard the rumors. And I felt the…lies.
But yet…I stayed!
The revelatory, yet blatant, truth was both a liberating experience — as well as a crushing experience.
The liberation freed me from the malignant toxic narcissist’s environment and away from their clutches. But at the same time, it crushed my sense of intelligence.
I beat myself up, saying:
“I should have seen it.”
“Why did I stay when I saw the signs.”
“I should have known…better.”
“I deserve that for being SO STUPID.”
I beat myself up a GREAT DEAL. But none of these statements were fair or accurate.
I was in love…and there is nothing wrong with being in love with someone. That is what it is to be…human.
Sadly, the Narcissists will NEVER love.
There is nothing wrong with giving our heart to someone. And there is nothing wrong with making a “mustake” (I will explain this soon).
Life Is A Constant Lesson: Relationship Red Flags
So if you are regretting the time that you spent with your ex-narc, learn to see it as a lesson. And I know that this may sound hard. I know that it may come off as a pipe dream, especially after all the pain that they have put us through.
But in learning to see the “lesson,” and learning to laugh at the experience we went through, it will make who we are that much better.
Diamonds, which we are, are made under pressure. And the time that we spent with the narc was creating us to become something FAR FAR MORE VALUABLE than they could ever imagine.
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The Narc Was A “Mustake”
A “mustake” is a mistake that must have had happened to teach us a valuable lesson.
A lesson that would help us become our most excellent versions.
The anger that we feel when we look back at the narcissist, and what they did and took from us is justifiable anger. But in seeing only that experience as a time of pain instead of a lesson — we hurt ourselves even more.
By holding on to that hate (and I am not saying you have to love them), we are only hurting ourselves day after day with the past.
The greatest revenge that we can ever have on the Narc is by living and being happy. By becoming successful in life, we will completely demolish the Narc’s ego.
Because in the Narc’s mind the idea that they can destroy a life gives them pleasure. When we walk away and live our lives happy and do so without them, that kills them inside.
It reveals to them how little control, if any; they have on us.
Stop Regretting You Ignored TheRelationship Red Flags
I regret ignoring the red flags with my ex-narc, and that only made my life WORSE after being in no contact with them. Once I started to accept that they were nothing more than a “mustake,” lessons for me to learn from, life became so much better.
I became wiser, more confident, and much more prepared for future relationships.
I know it will not be easy, but learn to be less hard on yourself. Because all you did was love.
No Shame In Therapy
Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology.
In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.
The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger.
When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in.
Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do.
Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.
Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side.