How To Heal After A Narcissistic Abuse
It is possible to heal after a narcissistic relationship.
It can seem like it is an endeavor that will never happen.
Quite often, when we leave a narc (either by being discarded or of our own volition), we feel confused.
We feel hurt, angry, upset, violated, and so much more.
But most often, we feel confused. Ideas such as, “did I do something wrong” or “was it my fault” or “am I NOT good enough” are easily some of the most common questions we ask ourselves.
But to quickly answer this question, the answer is NO to all of them.
We did nothing wrong but love.
And the only fault we made is ignoring the red flags.
Healing may seem like it is something that is not possible because we feel so damaged and broken. But I promise you that we can heal. And I promise that it is possible to be happy once again.
The pain that we feel is but a cold season. And like all cold seasons…it too…will pass.
The Healing Process Begins With No Contact
The healing process begins the moment you go NO CONTACT.
When I say, go “No Contact” I mean this in every sense.
You need to:
- get rid of photos
- get rid of gifts (assuming they ever gave you these BAITS)
- block them on social media (hell get off of social media if you can)
- change your phone number
- get rid of their number
- find a new place to live
- join support groups (if you are still on social media and need the support)
- SPEAK WITH A THERAPIST
By holding on to anything that will remind you of the narcissist, you will be placing yourself in a situation that will trigger you to remember them. This will make you want to reach out to them.
The idea of going No Contact is to purge yourself of the narcissist wholly. They are like a drug, and you have to cleanse yourself of their negativity. This process of No Contact is what makes it hard for a person to heal.
No Contact Is Like Cold Turkey: Narcissistic Abuse Relationships
Going No Contact will be like going, “Cold Turkey“. This process will make some people physically ill from not being in contact with the person.
Understand that the pain that you may be feeling is NOT that you are away from the narc but that you are just going through the purging process as any addict on drugs would.
This withdrawal stage will be the most challenging part. But this is why you will need to get rid of anything that will trigger you.
Learn To Accept What Has Happened
This step will also be one of the essential steps, and most challenging — because after you have gone no contact for a while, you may find yourself wanting to see that person again due to them showing up or seeing something that reminds you of them.
It would be best if you learned how to accept the wrong they did to you.
You need to accept that you ignored the red flags (don’t beat yourself up though, but realize it was a mistake that needed to happen to help you become a smarter and wiser person). Lastly, you will need to accept 1000% that the person WILL NEVER CHANGE.
In accepting these things, you stop fighting against your emotions. You realize that there are some people out there who are just the way they are — and LOVE, no matter how sincere it is, will not be able to change that.
Learn to let go of the idea that they will ever love you so that you can embrace the idea of you loving you.
Your Healing Begins When You Decide
Your healing will not begin when they say sorry because this will only lead you back into their hands. It will not heal after reading this post. And your healing will not begin after some moment of epiphany.
To learn how to heal after a narcissistic relationship will require that you decide to stop hurting over someone who can’t love.
The more you learn about the narcissist — along with ways to which you can empower yourself — the easier, and the quicker you will be able to heal.
It all begins with you, not them.
If you found this article helpful, please share it. It is my desire to help as many people as I can who may have suffered at the hands of a narcissist. The best way to heal is to go no contact. And the fastest way to heal is by deciding to accept the wrongs they did and move on.
No Shame In Therapy
Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology.
In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.
The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger.
When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in.
Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do.
Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.
Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side.