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The Worst Thing You Can Do To A Narcissist: How To Hurt a Narcissist


How To Hurt a Narcissist

The worst thing you can do to a narcissist that will drive them insane is straightforward. But it is something that far too many victims often overlook.

Many of us cannot see the answer because we have been so hurt by what the narcissist did to us, which is understandable. 

Narcissists hurt us so that we always have something to remember them by. 

This is precisely why the pain that we feel blinds us from the obvious solution.

I say this not to take away from the pain we may have endured — because I know how it feels to WANT to get revenge on the narcissist.

But we must always remember that old aphorism says: “those who seek revenge better dig TWO GRAVES.” 

And I ask you, is destroying our lives, this gift we have of experiencing only one time, really worth the revenge?

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Free image - how to make a narcissist miserable

The best way to get revenge on a narcissist is by…LIVING HAPPILY.

And I know right now for many of you, who are angry — those of us who are bitter.

Those of us who are upset and those who spiteful about what the narcissist did to us — that this is the LAST thing you want to hear.

I can already hear some of you.

“Just MOVE ON?”

“Don’t punish them for what they did?”

“This anger I feel needs to be let out!”

And I know. Trust me. I know.

But…

Please hear me out for a second as I will elucidate what that (living happily) does to the narcissist.

Narcissists believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that by discarding us, giving us the silent treatment, destroying our reputation, and spreading lies about us that we will be hurt by it.

And for many people, they may be hurt. But that is EXACTLY what the narcissists want.

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The Narcissists Love Destruction: How To Hurt a Narcissist

They love seeing the destruction

They LOVE the idea that they can hurt us.

Narcs LOVE the idea that they can destroy our image and life.

The Narcissist LOVES the idea that they can mold other people’s reality and perception of us.

It tickles their ego, knowing that they can bad mouth us to other people and then have these people foolishly believe every word they have said.

I know how frustrating it can be to have someone you NEVER even said hello to say to you with disgust, “I’ve heard all about you.”

It’s frustrating, I know.

Narcissists do this to try and make us feel alone. Because in their twisted minds, they can not stand the idea of being left alone, so EVERYONE ELSE MUST think the same, right?

So when they discard us or give us the silent treatment, know that they are STILL thinking about us and that they are gleaming at the idea that we are hurt.

By MOVING ON and doing “us” and being successful, the moment they find out (and they will find out because they have flying monkeys who will keep tabs on our lives) that will DESTROY THEIR WORLD and THEIR EGO.

They will feel like, “after all the mess I did… they are still…HAPPY?”

This will disrupt a narcissist’s mind. These people get pleasure from causing harm to others, and when we can turn that frown upside down, that messes the Narcissist up in more ways than one.

It shows to the narcissists that despite EVERYTHING (and listen to this)…EVERYTHING they have done, what they did, and what they will try to do — that, it doesn’t even phase us, because they are so… UNIMPORTANT.

And when we can show a narc that they are NOTHING...that KILLS THEM INSIDE. Click To Tweet

Narcs Are Attention Fiends Of The Highest Caliber

Narcissistic people thrive on attention. They NEED ATTENTION SO BADLY. When they have deemed us “supply” for their purposes and when we take back ourselves from them…that is a MAJOR blow to them.

Narcs are like parasites. They need others to feed on; otherwise, they will shrivel up like the vermin they are.

When you stop giving them attention, that serves as a massive blow to them, and they start to feel pain.

Emotional pain?

No.

They genuinely feel pain.

Check out this article on “HOW TO HURT A NARCISSIST AND GET AWAY WITH IT.”

Live Our Best Life

Free image - how does a narcissist feel when you ignore him

Living our best lives is the best revenge because it keeps us from sullying who we are.

To seek revenge on the Narcissist is to BE like the Narcissist.

And when we lose who we are — that is when they take full control over who we are.

Understand these people love to control and manipulate. But more importantly, they love to destroy a person’s life, and they love to destroy our character.

When we move on and live happily, that brings down their illusion of superiority and reveals to them something they don’t want to see.

The truth.

And the truth is; that they are NOTHING IMPORTANT.

Live your best life.

No Shame In Therapy + FREE PEER GROUP APP

Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology. In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.

The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger. 

When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in. 

Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do. 

Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.

Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side. 

Need Peer Support? Download Wearemore app to vent, get support, or just talk with others who are going through what you are going through!

About Author

I call myself the Rational Humorist. Narcs to me are cancer to humanity. The only way to beat cancer is to fight back against it.

The best way to defeat a narc is to see them as the jokes they are.

(13) Comments

  1. Fatoumata Simaha says:

    I really needed this. Article to get over a narcissistic abuse and moved on with my kids all I seek is happy life and not revenge I really felt at ease reading this article it worth millions of dollars
    Thank you for the wisdom

    1. Reason87 says:

      I am so HAPPY this article could help you. That means the world to me. I know how it is to be hurt by a narc. And I also know the best thing to do is to be the BIGGER AND BETTER PERSON. The best revenge is to be…HAPPY. Stay strong and stay blessed.

  2. Laura Martin says:

    I absolutely love this article…thank you! It’s the truth; words to live by. But, I have a question for you which may raise another article/issue altogether. My narc has succeeded in turning my 20 yo daughter against me; we are estranged and she wants nothing to do with me. We used to be INCREDIBLY close (all this happened as she turned 18). I also have a 15 yo son who I have shared custody with. We are okay, good, but still working on our relationship. The narc is constantly in his head about what a bad person/mom I am. Any advice?

    1. Reason87 says:

      I am sorry for that loss with your children. BUT you can get them back.

      And yes, I think I will make an article about this. I have been estranged with my mother as well for the past 8 years but reached out to her after realizing she wasn’t a narcissist. We are now building our relationship.

      My suggestion for you is to reach out. And if she says NO or she doesn’t want to talk to you. Go home. Write in a diary about how you felt and how much you wanted to connect with her.

      Write what you are feeling and ask her when she says she doesn’t want to talk to you… why?

      Get her response.

      On her next birthday give her the dairy letting her know how much you want to connect with her and how she shunned you. Let her know how much you love her.

      Don’t talk bad about the father (although he is the reason).

      Keep it on her and you.

      Write in detail about your feelings. And cry on the notebook if you have to absorb your emotion.
      Show her the parts where the page is crinkled. It’s crinkled because you cried not being able to connect. with her.

      The idea here is not to make her feel bad but to show her HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER AND WANT TO CONNECT. (Make sure you take pictures of the articles just in case she throws it away).

      I know that may be hard. But understand she is at that age where she is very impressionable.

      The 20s is an age where we are STILL KIDS.

      I just entered my 30s and man I look back and say my 20s I was still was just a kid.

      She will learn later on in life.

      But never give up being a mother. She may shun you but keep giving her that love and try and reach out.

      Do the diary because she will see you from a different light.

      I wish you all the best.

  3. Reign Davidson says:

    I too write a humor blog about my experience—being ghosted after a 29 year marriage. In the past, I wrote with trepidation—not wanting to offend others who may not be ready to laugh about something so serious.

    I’m not saying that everyone will get to where they can laugh, but I did. I suddenly saw the futility of how stupid I’d been, trying to hold on for so long to someone who was, indeed, a ghost. Once I crossed that threshold, I saw him and the other woman as cartoon characters in mind and their antics not only lost their ability to hurt or trigger me—they actually became funny in a Saturday Night Live kind of way.

    I’m glad that you too have found humor. You’re a lot younger than me, so you still have time to make another life and I’m cheering you on. Thanks for the nice blog. I will check out your others as well.

    Happy spring.

    1. Reason87 says:

      Hello,

      Thank you for the comment and your insight.

      Yes, I do believe that some people will not get to the level of seeing the narc as a comedy. Narcs have a great ability to make people only see the worse. But in learning t laugh (not in a condescending manner but in a healing manner) we can recover so much faster.

      Laughter truly is the best medicine and I believe it can help many people get through their trails with their narc.

      Thanks again for your comment and your insight. And can you leave a link to your blog? I would be interested in reading it.

  4. Patty says:

    My therapist has been telling me for quite a while to watch funny movies and to laugh … for many reasons. This website is making sense to me. I’m in a better space and I can see the absurdity and humor in my ex’s behavior. I’m preparing for a trial at the end of this month and I think that she is going to use this very expensive opportunity to try to finish off my character and destroy me. It is so absurdly expensive and painful that I think that just laughing about the ridiculousness of all of this just might help me survive. Thank you so much. I’m so determined and I think that tapping into humor just might be the way!!!!

    1. Reason87 says:

      Hey brother,

      There you go. Laughter is the best medicine. By laiughing, at the absurdity of the narcisiist, you save yourself from falling into nihilism and depression. Narcs have no reasoning and the more we try and reason with them the more they will try and pull us down and tear us apart.

      Keep cool. Keep calm. And prepare yourself for the character assassination.

      I have been there many times. So I know.

      Just KEEP COOL and CALM. Even when the stories are so absurd.

      Keep cool and laugh INSIDE at how delusional these people can be.

  5. Michelle Markley says:

    I get heal spiritually from the a******. But I will never get my life. He gave me a std that cannot be cured. That means my life is forever changed to the point I will never be able to kiss my grandkids or anyone else. I will have a constant reminder of him.

  6. Torsh Johansen says:

    It’s the easiest path to “Revenge” for anyone, not just a Narc. But yes, it will truly affect a Narc if it wasn’t tooo long ago the breakup occurred.

    To a Narc, they’re more sensitive to the other person being happy Without them. The best revenge for them, is to pre-emptively breakup with Them. Not easy of course for anyone; easier said than done. But once you’re Convinced they are a Narc — it can be easier to do. You’ll have a sense of control for once. You break up with them first while also pushing them away — it’ll hit them hard.

    When that isn’t the case, which many times it isn’t of course — being seen with someone else who can be seen as good looking as them (which they’ll see as hotter lol). You’re basically playing that ‘jealousy’ card. It affects everyone, but if it’s not terribly long after you and the Narc parted ways, you know it’ll hit home to them. But we certainly don’t have this opportunity a lot of the time, but if one does — play that card.

  7. Marie-Luce Verret says:

    I need to read a successful ending from a husband of a narcissistic WIFE!

  8. kathryn says:

    Thank you for your blog.
    I worked with a narc, almost killed me. The stress and anxiety was overwhelming. She sabotaged my work and blamed her mistakes on me. She ended up getting fired and filed a wrongful termination lawsuit blaming me as the cause.
    She filed a cause of action against me with the California State Board of Equalization and with the EDD.
    I ended up with renal failure and have under gone 3 surgeries to correct the problem from the stress.
    Law suit was finally settled not because she was right but because our legal fees were mounting.
    God help anyone who has to deal with a narc in the workplace.

    1. Reason87 says:

      To eternity I understand where you are coming from. I have worked with many narcs myself and I know how they can mess up lives FOR NO REASON. I now work for myself and LOVE IT.

      Check out my article How To Survive A Toxic Boss (workplace) here => https://laughingatnarcs.com/index.php/2019/06/18/how-to-survive-a-toxic-boss/

      Briefer: By leaving them

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