What happened to you with your narcissists was a tragedy. You didn’t deserve the mistreatment, the hurt, and the pain they unleashed upon you. But know this, you are not a victim. If you want to move on in life and stop asking yourself how to stop being a victim, then continue to read on.
Victim mentality, trigger warnings, and holding on to the hurt and pain DO NOT HEAL YOU. They only keep you HURT and WEAK.
When you hurt like this and treat yourself like a victim you are giving the narcissist pleasure. They love the idea that you are a victim along with everything you are going through, such as:
- Not trusting people
- Lashing out at people
- HOLDING ON TO THE PAST
- Not allowing new people into your life (If I can’t have you, NOBODY CAN. They still hold on to you!! Please open your eyes.)
- Playing…the victim
By hurting inside and holding on to their hurt towards you, you help them to finish what they started.
Which is…TO MESS UP YOUR LIFE.
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What Are The Steps You Can Take To Stop Being A Victim?
1) Decide To No Longer Be A Victim
Yes, I know. It is not that easy.
Well, the truth is…it is that easy. You decide to be a victim. You decide to think about your past instead of your present. And you decide to focus more on them and what they did to you instead of focusing on what you can do for yourself. And this is exactly what the narcissist wants. For you to forever think about them.
2) Become Your Own Hero
Narcissists do not come in our lives to destroy us, but to make us stronger. Reshape and reframe your past and your incident. Because it can be a most glorious back story for your transformation into a superhero.
3) Listen To Positive Podcast
I cannot speak highly enough of people like Les Brown, Joe Rogans, Lisa Nichols, Tom Bilyeu, and Ed Mylett (just to name a few), oh and my main man E.T (Eric Thomas). Listening to these people and how they overcame their adversity will be the fuel to help you tackle your life and your past.
4) Face What You Fear (Avoid Trigger Warnings)
Trigger warning keeps you weak and helpless. Face what it is that you are afraid of. So what people laugh and talk about you. Face the criticism and learn to laugh at it. I PROMISE YOU (because it has done wonders for me) you will grow stronger because of it.
5) “I Can” and “I Will”
State these phrases to yourself on a daily basis.
“I can be happy.”
“I will move on with my life.”
What are you telling yourself on a daily basis?
Words have an amazing impact on your life.
You Are Stronger Than You Know
The pain that we experience in life is meant to strengthen us…NOT cripple us. By saying to yourself you are a victim you give to the narcissist your power.
And this really turns on the narcissist.
By accepting what has happened, and saying that will never happen again, you become smarter, wiser, stronger and better. And you defeat the narcissist in so many ways.
First is a moral victory as they could not sully your character. And second is in life victory.
Narcissists love to destroy lives. But in taking your life after they have tried to destroy it and make something amazing out of it…they will die inside.
Becoming successful and happy after all the chaos they tried to put you through will kill them inside.
And you will be a better person because of it.
So, stop being a victim because it makes the narcissists happy and society already has way TOO MANY “woe is me” victims. I think we need a bit more heroes.
Couldn’t you agree?
No Shame In Therapy
Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology.
In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.
The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger.
When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in.
Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do.
Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.
Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side.