How To Manipulate A Narcissist

How To Manipulate A Narcissist

It can be a sweet victory to get one over on a narcissist who has continuously lied to us, used us, and abused us (emotionally and psychologically)!

Beating them at their irrational games is a great feeling, and not only that, it can save us from their insanity.

It is very important to know that these people will NEVER be reasonable.

Hurting us brings them joy.

If you are looking at escaping a narcissist relationship, here are six ways that you can do this without them even knowing what is going on.

Now, mind you, these manipulating tactics ARE NOT to get them to change.

You will not change the narcissist. Get that into your head right now!


These are tactics to give you the upper hand for your escape.

You gain NOTHING from staying with these people. The only thing you will get is mental illnesses.

And d*mn it, they are not worth it.

This is how to manipulate a narcissist and make them pay for whatever nonsense they put you through. This is what to do when escaping a narcissist.

Note: I was published in a book! Check out “Empathic Warriors Survival Stories : Not Your Ordinary Empath

Note: This article includes affiliate links!

How To Manipulate A Narcissist ~ 6 Things You Can Do

How To Manipulate A Narcissist

1 – Act Naive To The Triangulation Narcissist ~ Manipulating a Narcissist

Triangulation is a manipulation tactic where one person will not communicate directly with another person, instead using a third person to relay communication to the second, thus forming a triangle. It also refers to a form of splitting in which one person manipulates a relationship between two parties by controlling communication between them. Triangulation may manifest itself as a manipulative device to engineer rivalry between two people, known as divide and conquer or playing one (person) against another. ~ Wikipedia

Accept The Triangulation

Now, this is easily one of the narc’s favorite methods to slowly drive us insane (next to gaslighting).

They will try and make us question our sanity and worth by propping up one person and letting us down.

This is to make us question if we are good enough in their eyes. They love devaluing us.

When they do this, agree with them on how great the other person is for them.

If the partner says, “Oh, she/he is so much more attractive than you,” say, “You are so right! I am nothing like them.”

This gives this idea that you accept that you are not good enough, and by this, if they cheat and discard us for that other person…they will most likely not reach out to us again.


Because they discarded us, and we moved on.

Now depending on the narc, some may plead and beg for you to take them back.

But for the covert narc, they will want you back, but the idea of asking you to take them back coupled with the fear of being rejected WILL KEEP THEM AWAY.

How do I know, because I used this same tactic?

When they told me I was not good enough for them and didn’t need me, I accepted it.

I heard from others how they would talk about me and wondered how they could get me back.

Trust me. Let a narc think they are getting rid of you and use that as your means to escape.

Note: Linked below is a story that delves into this tactic, and I must say, I thought she did a GREAT JOB at escaping and playing the narc.

2 – Stay Silent With The Arguing With A Narcissist ~ Manipulating a Narcissist

The next time you find your narcissists arguing with you over nonsense, LET THEM!

Let them yell, cry, b*tch, and moan.

Let them walk out and leave you.

Or let them tell you to leave and DO SO.

Narcs are almost all the same. They have a pattern to them.

And it is our job to look for these patterns.

Know what it is that sets them off and prepare yourself for when they enter their temper tantrums.

If you know, they usually walk out for hours on ends ~ USE THAT TIME TO LEAVE YOURSELF.

Have yourself ready and packed the next time they get ready to throw a temper tantrum and leave.

If they tell you to leave — thinking you have no place to go — use that as the means to leave them finally.

Listen, let the argument, the smears, and the “leave me alone” be the tools that you use to make your escape.

See your time with them as a prison, and them yelling and screaming is the guard who is asleep.

Take the opportunities to make your great escape.

3 – Go Along With The Narcissist Gaslighting ~ Manipulating a Narcissist

Narcissistic people genuinely think they are geniuses. They think they are playing 4D chess when, in actuality, they are barely playing tic tac toe.

The Dunning Kruger Effect is strong in these clowns.

Gaslighting can be very hard to notice, especially when you have no idea what gaslighting is.

Read my article here to get a clear understanding of what gaslighting is and how to avoid it.

When a narc tries and makes you question your sanity…GO WITH IT.

Let them think you are that crazy because it will make them sloppy and silly.

If you have NOT seen the movie gaslight, which is where this terminology comes from, watch how the female protagonist wins in the end.

Mind you, the movie may cause you flashbacks of your time with the narc, but if you stick with it to the end, you will see how she turned the heads on the gaslighter.

They think we are stupid, then let’s play stupid.

4 – Let Them Think You Love The Narcissist Relationships ~ Manipulating a Narcissist

Now, the link below will be all that you need to read on how to manipulate a narc into thinking you care about their worthlessness.

Mind you, her tactics may be a bit harsh, but narcs ~ god, they don’t deserve kid gloves on.

Give her story a read and come back to this article to finish the read.

Check out this article, “How I Became My Narcissist’s Worst Nightmare“.

5 – Accept The Narcissist Blame ~ Manipulating a Narcissist

When they blame you for things you have not done…accept it.

When they lash out at you and say you made me do it…accept it!

And when they try and make out think you are the problem…accept it.

Now, I know you may say, “But I accepted so much for things I didn’t do.”

However, the intention here is to use this as your escape.

When they blame you, just say, “You know what. You are so right! Your life has gone downhill since you met me. I think because you are such a great person I should leave. You don’t deserve to be with someone like me.”

This plays on two folds.

One, you will leave them speechless. They will be looking for you to argue and cry!

But second, it is more you flipping the script and saying that THEY aren’t good enough for you.

You tell them what they want to hear and say to them what you feel about yourself.

You leave them and find yourself all over again.

This one, I like — as you verbally put it out there to the world, what you deserve. And you do this through doublespeak.

It is one of my favorite ways or was one of my favorite ways.

Now, I am just blunt as hell.

6 – Cheating Narcissist While By Playing Stupid ~ Manipulating a Narcissist

Lastly, not to sound redundant, but be smart BY PLAYING DUMB.



Let them think they have the upper hand over you while you have several hands above them.

In chess, you win by making the other side think they are wining and stringing you along while you are stringing them along.

You are smarter than you know and so much better than they will ever be.

Just leave them, and you will remember how great you are.

Struggling With C-PTSD?

I often say that living with a narcissist is like living in a war zone! This comparison may very well seem hyperbolic, but research has shown that living around narcissists can have the same effects on a person’s mind as people living in a war zone!

I wrote an article describing the “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With Narcissists“.

These people are monsters, plain and simple.

If you are struggling with emotional flashbacks, dealing with mental and emotional battles that NO ONE but yourself seems to see and feel, and if you find it hard to get out of bed every day, you may be dealing with C-PTSD.

As great as support groups may be, or as profound as articles can be, they are no substitute for professional help. 

Sometimes the best way to heal and move forward is with therapy.

Speaking with someone and getting the hurt off your chest is a great way to unload.

Online Therapy is a site that offers visitors the chance to speak with professional therapists who will be able to help you get through your emotional and psychological battles.

If you sign up with my link, you can get 20% off your first month’s session.

Online Therapy

About Author

I call myself the Rational Humorist. Narcs to me are cancer to humanity. The only way to beat cancer is to fight back against it.

The best way to defeat a narc is to see them as the jokes they are.

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