Don’t get even with the narcissist. I know right now, for those of you who are reading this, this is NOT what you want to hear. This is not what you want to consider. And this is not what you consider…fair.
Narcissists take so much from us — and the idea that they can just walk away and not get punished for destroying our lives is…incomprehensible.
That need to get vengeance on the narcissists can become an all-consuming thought. It can take so much of our waking hours just fantasizing about all the negative things we could do to the narc.
There was a time in my life where I wanted revenge so bad that if Satan had knocked on my door and said “I’ll give you your vengeance for your soul”, I would have taken him up on his offer.
Yeah….I WANTED REVENGE SOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD.
So bad like how Ice-T wanted to shoot Nino Brown in New Jack City.
“Ohhhh. I want to shoot you so bad, my (explicit) is hard.”
Hey, don’t cringe or laugh. If you are a guy you know what anger does to us in specific anatomy of ours.
But understand this before you continue reading.
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Is Revenge…Worth It?: How To Handle a Narcissist
I am a huge advocate of going No Contact. I champion this idea with a fervor that likens me to televangelists.
GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!
Just joking…not really. This is an article for another day.
But for many who have just left their narc all they want is revenge. And the idea of just letting the narc go on their merry way is a ludicrous idea.
But imagine this, if you will.
Your desires to get revenge on the narc are about to happen. You have taken ALL the necessary steps to make sure you can get them in a situation that will make them suffer.
You get them and they suffer. They suffer very very badly.
Your ego and pride now feel healed.
Your suffering that you inflicted on the narc went a bit too far. The narc either dies of the suffering you inflicted upon them or they go to the cops and tell them (because they are not afraid to get others to fight for them) about what you did to them.
You now, after getting your revenge, have to spend literal years IN A PHYSICAL PRISON.
And what is so sad about this is that with the narc you were in a psychological and mental prison.
And after getting your revenge you are in a physical prison which only intensifies that emotional and psychological prison you were in before when you were with the narc.
The narc…in the end…WINS.
Become A Better Person: How To Handle a Narcissist
Now this story may not play out like this. But I take a note from one of my favorite philosophers of all time; Seneca. Seneca was a stoic philosopher.
You can learn more about the philosophy of stoicism here Stoicism.
But to get back to Seneca. He once said, ‘Misfortune weighs most heavily on those who expect nothing but good fortune’.
The Stoics had this technique they would use to have a better appreciation for their lives. This technique is called “negative visualization“.
They would think of the worse things happening to them in their mind. And the reason that they did this was that in reality what they thought didn’t happen.
Thus they had a better appreciation for their lives.
For those of us who pine after revenge, I want you to think of you getting your revenge and think of the worse thing that could happen to you in regard to you getting revenge.
Is it really worth it?
Going to jail. Having your life taken away from you. Or you both ending up six-feet under?
Is it worth it?
I hope your answer is no.
Be Your Best Version: How To Handle a Narcissist
There is no greater revenge that we can ever inflict upon a narcissist then but to be happy and successful without them in our lives.
In my article “The Worst Thing You Can Do To A Narcissist” I argue this is the greatest and best revenge.
When we become successful it shows them that they were just holding us back. When we become happy it shows them that they were just a dark cloud in our life.
Becoming our best version of ourselves by placing our attention, time, and energy into something we love will be the biggest slap in the face to the narcissist.
And that will make the narcissist feel like a failure.
Because if it is one thing I have learned about the narcissist, it is this…
Success to a narcissist…is making other people in life fail.
Make them a failure by simply…and pay attention to this…simply being happy.
Be your best version because the world doesn’t need any more narcissistic people.
No Shame In Therapy
Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology.
In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.
The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger.
When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in.
Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do.
Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.
Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side.