Being discarded can be crushing to one’s self-esteem. Feeling as if we aren’t good enough can make trying to find love again seem impossible.
And this is exactly what narcissist wants. However, I say keep looking for love. In this article, I will explain how to find love again after a discard.
Giving up on love is exactly what these creatures want us to do. They want us to become so self-conscious about who we are that we never seek love again.
Because these people have very little love, if any love, for themselves they don’t want others to have that love as well.
You are loveable.
This is exactly why the narcissist in your life chose you.
They saw something in you that was beautiful, sublime, and dare I say Heavenly.
And like the negative beings, they are they sought to take that away from you.
Now…learn how to take it back.
Let’s begin, shall we?
How To Find Love After 40
For many people who have been in relationships with narcissists, they may have given years to maybe decades of their time. But know this…
YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE.
Whether you are someone who is over 40 and you want to learn how to find love after 40 or even 50 and want to learn how to find love after 50, this article will help you out.
Love is out there.
You just have to go out there and search for it.
10 Ways To Find Love After A Discard
1 – Give Yourself Time
During the discard stage, you want to give yourself some time to be in touch with JUST yourself. Because you are still hurt and a bit damaged you can be easily hurt once again if you wind back u in a relationship like your narcissistic relationship.
During this stage where you are giving yourself some time to heal, get to know who you are all over again.
It is not uncommon for those of us who have been with a narcissist to LOSE who we are.
And this is very common.
Narcissists have an uncanny ability to make people forget who they are while being with them.
During this stage, and it is very crucial so that you can get back the time you lost with the narcissists, get to know YOU.
2 – Consider Online Dating
There is NO SHAME IN THIS. The world is moving online.
You will be surprised at how many relationships actually…WORK.
In a study (read the article here), it was revealed that online relationships have longer and happier years.
This is not too shocking as people are ACTIVELY searching for a soulmate.
And as I stated above, with love you have to go out there and SEARCH FOR IT.
3 – Find Love By Doing The Things You Love (Hobbies)
“Do the things you love to find the person you will love.”
I am pretty sure that is how the quote goes.
But if you want to find someone with whom you will have an interest in, why not go out there and just do the things that you love.
You have a pretty much 50/50 percent chance that you will find someone.
4 – Take Your Friends Advice About That Person
I don’t know about you but I have had many friends who have tried to hook me up with one of their single friends or cousins…or sisters.
Heck, even their daughters.
If you have a close friend who is trying to help you find love, then you might want to give them a chance.
5 – Stop Tracking Your Past
Stop letting the past hold you back.
Yes, your narcissist was a demon spawn sent here on earth.
But not all guys, or gals, are like that.
Look at what had happened and learn from it.
In the time that you are using to get to know yourself set up boundaries.
Know what you will NOT allow someone to do.
This will stop any potential new narcissist in their tracks.
6 – Be Able To Handle Rejection
Learn how to be rejected.
You will never find love or the one if you don’t go out there and look for love.
If you want to ask that clerk out, that teacher out, or just that person you see in the coffee shop every day out…
A “No” may hurt.
But a “WHAT IF”, will haunt you on your final day of life.
A “No” will not kill you.
7 – Know Exactly What You Want In A Partner
I often say that a narcissist came into our lives to teach us something; much to the chagrin of some of my readers.
But I do believe that if we never dealt with these poeple we would never know what type of people we NEVER WANT IN OUR LIVES AGAIN.
They set the standard for WHAT NOT TO HAVE IN A PARTNER.
And with this measurement, them being the lowest of the low, we can now look for someone in the opposite direction.
8 – Focus On Yourself
Focus on you.
What do I mean?
There are many pictures of people on Facebook which show people BEFORE being with their narcissist and AFTER being with their narcissist.
It is a sad thing to see.
But what is so beautiful is seeing that SAME picture while being with a narcissist with a picture AFTER leaving the narcissists.
The transformation is stunning.
Get back your beauty, confidence, self-esteem.
And most of all get YOU BACK.
You were and ARE a catch to someone.
Never tell yourself otherwise.
9 – Stop Blaming Yourself
The treatment that you received was NOT YOUR FAULT.
You are someone who is worth loving.
You are someone worth being with.
And you are someone who is worthy of being in a healthy relationship.
And you must get this in your head if you ever want to be in a healthy relationship.
10 – Rekindle That Flame With The One Who Got Away
Lastly, and NO, this does NOT mean to rekindle the flame with the hellspawn, try rekindling a flame you may have had with an old ex-lover.
You may think this to be a long shot…but you will be surprised at how some love stories end up.
Love Is Worth Looking For
Love is worth fighting for. It is worth searching for. And it is worth living for.
Narcissists know how to make this most amazing gift of life “love” a tragedy.
But know that the “love”, and I use this word here very loosely, is just a farce.
Don’t allow the narcissist to take this gift of life from you.
Search for love. And search for it until you find it.
Because life without love is a hellish existence.
And we know this to be true.
Just look at how narcissist act.
Check out this cute story of a guy’s first kiss to get you excited to find love.