How To Deal With Your Narcissistic Kid
Teenagers are a mercurial lot. They can go from being happy and joyous to be around you to next wanting NEVER TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
Teenagers are a headache.
But narcissistic teenagers are a NIGHTMARE to deal with.
The lack of respect, the provocation to hit them or argue with them, and the malleability of their minds, which can be molded by the narc partner you are with, can make staying home feel like hell.
As a parent, you want nothing but the best for your kid(s), but it can feel like an uphill battle to want the best for them and love them to only have them do EVERYTHING they can to make your life as miserable as possible.
Don’t give in to the sweet feeling of lashing out.
Instead, do these things…
Note: I have been published in a book called “Empathic Warriors Survival Stories“. If you are looking for a bit of inspiration feel free to give this book a read.
How To Deal With Your Narcissistic Kid
Step # 1 – SPEAK TO A THERAPIST
The ordeal that you are going through can have a massive impact on your emotional well-being and psychological well-being, which in turn can have an enormous impact on your health in whole.
The reason you will need to speak with a therapist is that they are objective to the whole situation, and they will be able to give you techniques to use when you feel like you can’t take anymore.
When dealing with a narc teen, who is being manipulated by the other narc parent, you may feel alone.
And the narc partner KNOWS THIS.
This is why they manipulate the teen to turn against you.
You are fighting a war on BOTH FRONTS.
A therapist will be the ally you will need to help heal you during the session.
Yes, you can always talk to a friend or associate, but most often, their opinion is a bit skewed because of their relationship with you.
A therapist is not only a professional, but they are an UNKNOWN ally to you. And they also serve as a secret informant against the narcs.
When you speak to a therapist, DO NOT LET THE FAMILY KNOW.
Otherwise, they will do everything they can to stop you from getting the help you want and NEED.
Step # 2 – Learn The Skill Of Grey Rocking and Master The Art Of Detachment
Grey Rocking is going to be such an essential skill for you to learn. Narcs know how to get on our very last nerves. Narcissists themselves are kidults.
And teens are no different. They are very entitled, selfish, and demanding.
When dealing with your narc teen, you need to learn how to REMAIN COOL, CALM, and COLLECTED AT ALL TIMES.
When they give you a snide comment or rude comment, say, “I see your upset. I’ll leave you alone.“
What this does is show the teen that you will NOT ACKNOWLEDGE them when they are mean.
You will not feed their attention when they act in a manner that is disrespectful to you.
By doing this, you also show them that their mean feelings towards you DO NOT AFFECT YOU.
This will be a massive blow to them.
Now, this is NOT giving them the silent treatment. Let me make this clear.
What you are doing is showing them that when they are cruel, you won’t put up with it.
You can talk with them the next day, and if things change for the better… GOOD. But if they keep at it, don’t acknowledge the cruelty.
Now, I know this may not WORK with ALL TEENS (as not all teens are the same), but the skill of grey rocking is a skill you will want to learn.
Detachment: How To Deal With Your Narcissistic Kid
The art of detaching is also crucial for your mental and psychological well-being.
It would help if you learned how NOT to take things so seriously with them. They are teens, and they are being manipulated. As a parent, you HAVE TO BE the role model for them.
And yes, I know how difficult it can be. You may want to…WAM! BAM! And KABLOWW! Them into next week.
It’s VERY tempting; isn’t it?
But be strong.
By showing them how stoic and in control you can be with your emotions, you will start to plant seeds in their subconscious of what it is to be a Mother or Father.
It is tough, I know.
But, heck. Being a PARENT IS TOUGH.
There are NO BLUEPRINTS or GUIDES to raising a kid because kids are DIFFERENT and UNIQUE.
Be the person you would want them to be!
Step # 3 – Journal Your Thoughts and Feelings
Lastly, it would help if you let those feelings OUT. Don’t keep them bottled up so that they eat away at you from the inside.
You may not be able to speak with a therapist every day or every week
and you may not have someone to talk to.
However, having a journal (and you will want to hide this, so the “family” [and I use “family” here very loosely] don’t find it and torment you more) will help you deal with your hurt and pain.
It is essential to let your pain out in some type of medium.
Be it writing, drawing, dancing, running, swimming.
LET YOUR PAIN OUT.
Don’t keep it in.
It’s Tough Being A Parent
It is TOUGH being a parent. But it would help if you were the ROLE MODEL FOR THEM. If you do the best that you can, they may change in their young adult stage and see all the stuff you put up with…FOR THEM.
By being the role model parent, you could potentially have an excellent relationship with them in their adult lives.
Teenage years last for six years, but their adult lives can last for decades.
So, try and be strong for the six years so that you can enjoy decades of fun with them later on.
If you need support, feel free to subscribe above to my Private Facebook Group.
And remember, that a support group is NO ALTERNATIVE to professional help.
If you are suffering from severe depression, anxiety, and even PTSD (or C-PTSD), reach out to a therapist at Online-Therapist (this is an affiliate link) and get 20% off your first month’s session.