How To Deal With Narcissist
Sarcasm Ahead

How To Deal With Narcissist: The 10 Commandments To Be A Good Supply

In the beginning, was the narcissist. And the narcissist was the beginning, and the narcissist is the end.  

All things great in life, even YOUR life, is only made possible because of the narcissist.

Because without them, none of us would exist.


Because with four words, the narcissist proclaimed, “Let there be ME,” and reality formed as a result of their words.

In this guide, I want to explain how to deal with a narcissist that has graced your life with their presence.

Be humble, oh worthless plebian. You are not the least bit worthy of being in the presence of a narcissist.

Failure they may be in life, YOU are still so blessed and honored to have them grace your life with their toxicity.

🎶 Oh! Narcissists! How excellent! How, excellent! 🎶

How To Deal With Narcissist: The 10 Commandments To Be A Good Supply

How To Deal With Narcissist

And so it was written!

The supreme overlord narcissist in my life took me up high on Mount Ego and gave me these ten commandments that all of us supply must live by.

By teaching you the ten commandments that the narcissists want us to live by, I can get us all to the promised land.

Where we will sing praises of how excellent the narcissist is, even when they are not!

Commandment #1 – I Am The Narcissist, YOUR BETTER: Praise Me

And the narcissist spoke to me and said, “I am the narcissist, YOUR BETTER!

“Praise and exalt me for all my mediocrity.”

“I’m BETTER than you in everything…EVERYTHING!”

“My sh*t smells better than yours…and it’s bigger than yours.”

“What! Think you better than?”

And as I looked there dumbfounded and confused as hell, the narcissists rambled on about more nonsense.

Commandment #2 – Thou Shall Not Look At Another Person With Any Form Of Attraction Because I Am A Jealous Person

And the narcissist spoke and said to me, “What? You think anyone else would love you as I love you? You piece of sh*t!”

“No one will ever love you as I love you. You piece of sh*t.” 

“I am all you will ever have. You piece of sh*t.”

“You best believe that I care about you. You piece of sh*t.”

“Never look at another person like that again because I am just jealous, and jealousy, we all KNOW, is the highest level of love.”

“You piece of sh*t.” 

Commandment #3 – Thous Shall Make Monuments Of Me

And the narcissist spoke to me and said, “Make me look good in photoshop and place my pictures all over social media.”

Commandment #4 – Thous Shall Never Think Badly Of Me; Even When I Do Bad

And the narcissist spoke to me and said, “I am flawless even with all my flaws. And if you ever point out my flaws, I will hurt you and ridicule you.

“Wha..wha..what? You think you BETTER THAN ME.”


“NO ONE!!!!!!!”

And I was fearful, as the foam that came from the narcissist’s mouth was akin to a rabid dog.

Petrified surely I was. 

Commandment #5 – Remember My Birthday And Keep It Holy & Satisfying

And the narcissist spoke to me and said, “It’s my party, and I cry if I want to. Cry if I want to. Cry if I want to.”

And I said to the narcissist, “But thou are 40 years old.”

This seemed to anger the narcissist, and I was made to back down from using reasoning and logic.

The narcissist spoke again and said, “It’s my birthday; KEEP IT HOLY. My birthday comes before your five-year-old child’s birthday. I was here first AS*HOLE.”

Commandment #6 – HONOR ME!

And the narcissist spoke and said, “My ego is very fragile. GIVE ME CONSTANT PRAISE AND ADULATION.”

Commandment #7 – Thou Shall Always Take Me Back After I Cheat On You

And the narcissist spoke and said to me, “I can cheat on you all I want, and you best take me back. Yer heard that…B*TCH.”

“I’m the mack daddy. All the girls want a piece of this out-of-shape body.”

“I’m the head b*tch up in here. All the guys want a piece of this fine as*.”

Taken aback because they weren’t much to look at, I listened as they continued to ramble on about NONSENSE.

(Oh, yeah, and the narcissist is both male and female. Did we forget to say that? Who cares? They can make things up on the fly, and we best believe everything they tell us.)

Commandment #8 – Thou Shall Kill Thy Ego To Satiate My Ego

And the narcissist spoke and said to me, “Only I can have an ego. And my ego needs to be fed. Sacrifice your dreams, goals, and aspirations. Your suffering and ego killing will PLEASE ME.”

Commandment #9 – Thous Shall Not Envy…Unless It Is Me You Envy

And the narcissist spoke and said to me, “Envy is a bad feeling…unless you envy my life and who I am. Then it is Okay! I have spoken!”

Commandment #10 – Thou Shall Work To Make Thine Neighbor Jealous…OF ME

And the narcissist spoke and said to me, “Work day and night to make the neighbors, the school faculty parents, my coworkers, my boss, my parents, the mailman, Jake the four-year-old boy, and fido, the next-door neighbor’s dog JEALOUS OF ME.”

“If people ain’t hatin, you doing something wrong.”

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I call myself the Rational Humorist. Narcs to me are cancer to humanity. The only way to beat cancer is to fight back against it.

The best way to defeat a narc is to see them as the jokes they are.

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