Funny Articles

Hey! If You Defend Yourself Against A Narcissist, You Are The Narcissist


Have you been asking yourself, after the separation from the narcissists or while being with the narcissist, “am I the narcissist”?

Well, if you defend yourself against a narcissist, you are the narcissist. And in this article, I will explain how egotistical it is to defend yourself from unjust attacks.

I will explain how cruel it is when you escape the fog. And how YOU ARE THE BAD GUY for doing so.

I will explain how in YOU voicing YOUR OPINION and not staying silent when you are being hurt that you are the ultimate traitor.

And I will explain how in YOU seeking to be happy with YOUR ONE LIFE that that is easily one of the most selfish things you can ever do.

How dare you live your ONE LIFE trying to pursue (scoff) HAPPINESS at NO COST TO ANYONE ELSE. You selfish, selfish…(explicit).

People like you really disgust me. Daring to be happy without making ANYONE ELSE SAD AROUND YOU.

Who do you think you are? Huh?!?!?!

Let me get to the article before I get a headache.

If you defend yourself against a narcissist you are the narcissist. Know this and then maybe…maybe your narcissists…um, your loving, caring, and supportive partner, will then take you back.

Wondering If You Are The Narcissists: Are You Defending Yourself?

One of the hallmark characteristic traits of a narcissistic person ISN’T needlessly attacking someone and trying to destroy them FOR NO JUSTIFIABLE REASON.

No.

The real narcissists are the people who have the AUDACITY to dare defend themselves against UNJUST ATTACKS.

God! People like this are so obnoxious.

Who do they think they are to say to themselves “I don’t want to be hurt by this person unjustly.”

The arrogance of these people is nauseating.

Don’t they know that to be a good person means to sit there and take verbal, emotional, psychological, and physical abuse?

This is what it is to be a good person. But more importantly, this is what it means to be an adult and NOT a narcissist.

Have You…Dared To Escape The Fog

Another trait of narcissistic people is in them trying to escape a fog.

It is NOT in creating a fog around someone.

No.

The real narcissistic trait here is in daring to see the circumstantial reality of a certain moment for what it really is.

Do you not know that in staying naive, foolish, and forever stuck in the fog state of ignorance that you are being a good person?

Do you not understand that in NOT ASKING QUESTIONS that you are a loyal subject…um…a good dog…um…I mean a good person?

Can you not see that in trying to escape the fog that you are the true villain?

Oh, wait! You probably can’t see because of the…well, you know…FOG.

Staying stuck in a childlike state of naivete is the only way to be a good person.

Learning, asking questions, and improving your cognitive functionalities are all signs of THE DEVIL.

You don’t want to be a demon or witch, do you?

Because we know what happens to demons and witches.

They get burned or stoned because the masses around them fear things they don’t understand or can’t control.

And speaking of control.

Did You DARE Ask For One Hour Of Your LIfe To Spend On You

YOU OBNOXIOUS, SELFISH, DISLOYAL, CRUEL, RUDE ASS NARCISSIST.

Why are you so selfish?

Why can’t you give every attosecond of your life to your partner?

What makes you think you deserve to have your time to yourself?

See, this is what makes you so narcissistic.

It doesn’t matter if you were there for them ALL WEEK (Sunday to Saturday).

Asking for ONE HOUR out of the week is truly nefarious.

Now I see why you are here asking if you are the narcissist.

STOP THINKING YOU DESERVE SOMETHING.

You are here to live for their pleasure.

Once you get this through your THICK SKULL then you will become a good person.

God! The audacity of people like you.

DID YOU SMILE BECAUSE THEY LEFT THE HOUSE

This blows my mind!

How can you be…happy without them?

How can you even be happy?

Don’t you know that if YOU are happy then you are taking ALL OF the HAPPINESS?

Did you forget that happiness has a cap on it and that it is running out in the world faster than fossil fuel?

STOP BEING SO GREEDY.

Just one smile takes away from the decreasing supply that is happiness.

And what makes this worst is that you smiled WITHOUT THEM IN YOUR LIFE.

(Breaking character here for a second. What do you think this means? LEAVE THEM.)

You truly are a narcissistic scumbag if you do any of these above.

You have to always look and feel sad.

This is what true love is all about.

Other people taking pleasure in your suffering.

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YOU ARE NOT…THE NARCISSIST

Listen…this is a spoof. And I feel I must really state this, as many people do not quite understand… sarcasm.

Narcissists have an uncanny ability to make people doubt themselves. They know how to pass their misdeeds on to us and actually make us feel like we are the bad guy FOR THEIR MISDEEDS.

But know this…if you have even a slight bit of remorse, shame, empathy (actually caring for someone other than yourself) YOU ARE NOT THE NARCISSIST.

Stop beating yourself up. Stop saying maybe you could have done more, been more, seen more, and helped more.

NO…no you couldn’t and no you can’t.

As one of my readers so eloquently put it (Amy Klines. Thank you for letting me use this quote of yours),

A narcissist will paint you out as a traitor just for defending yourself.- Amy Kline Click To Tweet

These people are irrational.

You can give them the planet and they will ask “why not the galaxy”?

Nothing is ever enough. And you can die for them and they will still BADMOUTH YOU.

Hell, they may visit your grave just to spit on it.

Could you ever see yourself doing something like this?

Could you ever even think about something like this?

Trust me, if you are here even asking whether or not you are the narcissist, the answer is that you are NOT the narcissists.

So stop beating yourself up. You are NOT a bad person for sticking up for yourself AS A HUMAN BEING SHOULD.

Learn to love yourself as much as you love a creature that will never love you.

You truly…TRULY DESERVE SO MUCH MORE.





Reason87

I call myself the Rational Humorist. Narcs to me are cancer to humanity. The only way to beat cancer is to fight back against it.

The best way to defeat a narc is to see them as the jokes they are.

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4 Comments

  1. Sarah says:

    Very amusing article, I enjoyed reading it.

    1. Thanks.

      I really don’t see the reason for anyone to sulk around for the rest of their lives instead of trying to heal and move on.

      Laugh at the insanity instead of sinking into your own is a pretty good option.

  2. omg this hurt to read. I actually believe it. kinda scared that my ex will see this and get off on teh success.

  3. Thanks !! I needed that . I’ve forgotten what it feels like to laugh.

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