For many of us who have been in toxic relationships the idea of “getting back” at the person who harmed us, used us, manipulated us, and hurt us can seem like it is the only way for us to move on in our lives.
We want that person to know that what they did was wrong, that how they made us feel was f*cked up (no need to sugar coat this), and what they did to us altered our lives for the worse.
Vengeance can really be the sweetest kind of joy. To get that person to suffer as much as they have made us suffer can feel like justice.
However, here is the thing…
As Confucius once said, “holding on to hate is like drinking poison.”
When you go No Contact, it is by no means ACCEPTING what they have done to you.
However, it is you moving on to a better life.
What you need to understand with toxic, manipulative and narcissistic people is that when you go no contact… that is the GREATEST BLOW to their ego.
Narcissists are like children.
Bring in the news for this MOST shocking revelation.
They think that the world revolves around them. They have no idea, no sense, no understanding that the world outside of their small myopic view of the word, is actually significant.
These people are like a fish in well; they can never understand the depths of an ocean.
To them, they harm us because they think that if they can hurt us — that we will always remember them. But when you let go and move on and LIVE A HAPPY LIFE that is the ultimate blow to them.
Because it shows them that life is SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT THEM IN IT.
When they realize that you have moved on and that you will not be calling them, talking to them or acknowledging them you will have the best revenge ever.
See, they cannot think straight.
While you are not engaging with them, they will also not be engaging with you.
NOT because they have moved on. But because in their twisted minds they think that you are ignoring them and they are saying to themselves “I can hold out longer then they can.” (GO NO CONTACT!!!)
Heres the thing about NO CONTACT.
No Contact is not you ignoring them. It is you not acknowledging them
Moreover, for narcissistic, they thrive and feed on attention. They are like small kids who draw on walls.
Why do they draw on the walls?
Because in their minds they know if I do something wrong then I will get attention.
And, that is the same thing for narcissistic. They believe that if they do something wrong to you that you will shower them with attention.
When you go No Contact, you ultimately win because you free yourself from their chaotic living and their toxic mentality and you enter into a better tomorrow.
It may not be easy in the beginning, but the longer you go no contact with those toxic people you will soon discover that what they did will no longer even affect you.
If you keep ruminating over the wrongs that people have done to you they ultimately win.
However, when you move on and enjoy a happy life and go No Contact and think nothing of them… that is when you ultimately win.
Marcus Aurelius once said, “The best revenge is to be unlike him who has done you the harm.”
Moreover, I would like to add to this in regards to our present this day and age — that the best revenge, when dealing with a narcissist, is to go NO Contact.
Go No Contact.