Forgiving At An Emotional Level
Forgiving on a rational level can be very easy, or relatively easier when compared to on an emotional level.
When it comes to forgiving on a rational level, I say that it is easier because you can look at people (narcissists, flying monkeys, and enablers) and see that most of them are not as aware of themselves as they think they are.
(And read the link connected to the “flying monkeys” as this will better explain the “false illusion” that they live in.)
They fall under this “false illusion” of having autonomy when, in actuality, many of these people are deluded.
This “false illusionary autonomous state” that I perceive most narcissists, flying monkeys and enablers live in, can be closely associated with “Quasi Autonomy”.
The term quasi-autonomy (coined with prefix quasi- / “resembling” or “appearing”) designates formally acquired or proclaimed, but functionally limited or constrained autonomy. As a descriptive term, it is usually applied to various quasi-autonomous entities or processes that are formally designated or labeled as autonomous, but in reality remain functionally dependent or influenced by some other entity or process. An example for such use of the term can be seen in common designation for quasi-autonomous non-governmental organizations. – Wikipedia
This delusional free-will is what makes it easy for us to forgive them at a rational level. Because we can see them for what they really are.
And this is not a superiority complex or “I am better than these people” mindset. It is, however, a truth that some people are more aware of who they are more than others.
Forgiving At An Emotional Level And Not Only A Rational Level
Now, how does one forgive at an emotional level?
Despite the fact that some of us have a better ability to reason, it still doesn’t take away from the fact that we are not wholly rational machines.
The jabs, attacks, and irrational wars that “unaware people” thrust upon us can also make us very angry.
And forgiving at an emotional level can be quite the challenge.
What I have learned to do is to detach myself.
I detach myself emotionally, and yes, this is a skill that you must cultivate.
But in detaching yourself from people emotionally, you will find that forgiving at an emotional level becomes a hell of a lot easier because you are no longer attaching yourself emotionally to these people.
Detachment is critical, and this is precisely the mindset that successful people have mastered.
They don’t allow the opinion and the views of the world to impact how they feel.
This is their way of trying to make things, in “THEIR” world, even.
You will not be able to reason with hurt people, because all they see and experience is pain.
It is important, superlatively important, to learn how NOT TO CARE and become detached with those who do you wrong.
But more importantly, you must also is also NEVER SEEK AN APOLOGY.
People who are not aware of who they are, and have very little emotional intelligence will never apologize for the wrongs they do.
And you know what?
That is okay.
You don’t need an apology to forgive.
You just need to have a strong emotional foundation in yourself to move on.