It can be challenging to forgive a narcissist. They destroy so much of our lives.
They take so much, and at times it feels like they will never get their just desserts. But for us to heal, we must forgive but cut ties.
And this is true if they have been long-running buddies with you and even true if they are your blood family.
NOBODY has the right to your life. Nobody has the right to destroying, damaging, sabotaging, hurting, devaluing, demeaning, and denigrating your life.
We get one shot at this thing called life.
So, as difficult as it may be (initially), learn to forgive your narcissist and move on in life.
Because the narcissist is not worth giving all your time, energy, thoughts, and life to.
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Forgive But Cut Ties
Just because you forgive people doesn’t mean you have to have them in your life.
Forgive but cut ties because the person/people who hurt you will take a second swing at trying to destroy you.
Can You Forgive Someone But Not Want Them In Your Life?
Absolutely. And this can go for family or friends. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to let the person who hurt you back into your life.
We forgive because we want to let go of that poisonous hatred that festers in our hearts.
You can forgive someone for lying to you. You can forgive someone for using you, manipulating you, hurting you, even abusing you (mentally, psychologically, and physically).
Forgiveness is not solely for the person who hurt us but for ourselves.
It is us allowing us to move on from our hurtful past.
Let Them Go
Forgiveness is of itself a difficult thing to do. But cutting ties is also just as hard. Heck, it may even be harder.
I wrote an article called “Why Going No Contact Is So Hard To Do” which you can read linked here.
No contact can be complicated as many of us are addicted to our narc. This addiction stems because of the romantic feelings we have towards the narc.
Or it may be because of the trauma bonding, which the narcissist often use to connect with us symbiotically.
As I have mentioned several times in my articles, narcs are master psychological warriors.
They know how to get at us at a psychological level and stick their grimy little hands into our hearts and minds.
Letting go can be extremely difficult, and we can feel pain from being apart from the narc.
But this is also difficult when it comes to family members. That familial bond is not only psychological, but it is also biological.
Thus making it more difficult to cut ties.
How Do You Cut A Toxic Family Tie?
“But they are family.”
This is often the statement many people use when they say they cannot cut their narcissist out of their lives.
They claim that the narcissist may be their father, mother, or sibling.
And because they’re family (their narcissistic family), that that somehow makes the abuse OKAY!!!
But I posit this.
Does a father hurt their child for their pleasure?
Does a mother manipulate her child?
Do siblings sabotage another sibling’s goals and dreams?
Fathers, Mothers, and Siblings DO NOT DO THIS.
Narcissistic parents and family members are some of the worst of the narcissist because they are blood. They are our kin. They are our…family.
And maybe it is because of the familial bonds — along with what they are supposed to be — that makes it hard to cut ties.
But understand this; narcissists do not love.
And there are many cases of narcissistic family members driving their supply to commit suicide or worse… they will do them in their selves.
You must let this sink into your mind and learn to forgive them but cut ties as well.
Don’t Fear Being Alone
“People can waste a large amount of their time trying to be accepted by people. Sometimes, God meant for you not to fit. You never know, you may hold the unique perspective that when voiced or demonstrated will change generations.”Shannon L. Alder
I thoroughly believe that the hardships that we endure in life are meant to PREPARE US for more incredible things in life.
And I know it may be demanding and challenging after leaving your narc.
You may feel worthless, useless, stupid, and foolish.
But you have to see the incident that has happened as a “training” for you.
You have to see yourself as an instrument of whatever god you may believe in to forge you into a pen that tells a most INSPIRATIONAL story of hurt and pain that transformed into something BRILLIANT.
Don’t fear isolating yourself and cutting ties.
Fear never living up to your true potentiality.
Cut ties with anyone and everyone who dares to hold you back and down in life.
Forgive everyone who has hurt you and then cut ties…because we only get one shot at this thing called life.
Don’t miss it.
No Shame In Therapy
Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology.
In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.
The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger.
When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in.
Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do.
Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.
Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side.