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5 Emotional Blackmail Examples That Narcissists Use


5 Emotional Blackmail Examples That Narcissists Use

If you have a narcissist in your life, you may have noticed their behavior and communication styles are different from your own.

They are different from everybody else you know, too. We can start with these emotional blackmail examples that are common in narcissistic personality disorder.

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5 Emotional Blackmail Examples That Narcissists Use

1 – Triangulation ~ Emotional Blackmail Examples

Emotional Blackmail Examples

Triangulation involves three individuals: the narcissist, yourself, and another person.

The goal is to use the third person to help the narcissist get what they want from you.

They communicate with the other person to make it seem like you have done something wrong or need help.

With this in mind, the narcissist may become buddies with your best friend or spouse.

They may also use this technique with you and your sibling. This person has no reservations about driving wedges between you and the essential people in your life.

They disguise this manipulation as if it is nothing more than concern about you, but it can permanently damage your relationships.

2 – F.O.G: Fear, Obligation, And Guilt

Emotional Blackmail Examples

These features are a part of your life when you deal with a narcissist. You may be too afraid of the consequences ever to tell them, “No.” Whether their threats are direct or indirect, your fear is genuine.

You have learned to feel obligated to give and do whatever they want because you are led to feel guilty if you do not.

Whether they are imposing on your time or resources, they claim their needs are more important than yours.

3 – Stalking ~ Emotional Blackmail Examples

Emotional Blackmail Examples

Narcissists do more than snoop and spy. Between their lack of boundaries and desire for control, you may find you are being stalked.

There can be more to it than wanting to know where you are and what you are doing.

They may choose one or more other people to assist. In most cases, the other people are unaware of the narcissist’s motives.

Narcissists present themselves as a loving person who cares about you and only wants to be helpful. This is known as stalking-by-proxy.

It differs from triangulation, as the purpose is to find information to use against you.

They may visit or call your friends or coworkers, hoping these people will say something negative about you.

If the narcissist succeeds, they will delightfully approach you with “Your friend Susan thinks you are cheating on your husband,” or “Your coworker Joe said you are doing poorly at work.”

Stalking-by-proxy can interfere with your life even if you move far away from the narcissist.

If they know where you live or where you work, it can be a goldmine of information.

They can ruin your relationships, try to get you fired, and attempt to get you to move “back home.”

They may engage in slander and destroy your reputation, so people in your new community no longer like or trust you.

4 – Shaming

Shaming is a popular technique for narcissists to gain control. They want you to feel bad about yourself and to second-guess your actions and decisions. You may also feel ashamed over wanting or needing anything.

The narcissist will tell you that you are selfish or lazy. You may be very tired and want to rest after work, but there is a time-consuming errand they need you to do.

You may be planning to buy a nice new outfit, but they assert that they need something instead.

Shaming can take quite a toll on your self-esteem and even your sense of Self.

Whether you attempt to go about your everyday business quietly or try to assert yourself, the narcissist knows all the right words to make you feel bad.

5 – Disguising Verbal Abuse As A “Joke” ~ Emotional Blackmail Examples

Narcissists are experts at verbal abuse. Presenting abuse as a “joke” is like a double-edged sword.

First, the narcissist freely makes remarks that are put-downs or insults. You instinctively know there is nothing funny about these remarks.

If you protest or try to defend yourself, though, you will experience the second side. You will be told you “cannot take a joke” or that you are “too sensitive.”

Emotional blackmail is a big part of a narcissist’s bag of tricks. If you cannot avoid the narcissist entirely, try not to take it personally. You can protect yourself, your peace of mind, and your relationships in the future.

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About Author

I call myself the Rational Humorist. Narcs to me are cancer to humanity. The only way to beat cancer is to fight back against it.

The best way to defeat a narc is to see them as the jokes they are.

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