Can A Narcissist Love Anyone & Can They Change With Tough Love?
The answer to this question may upset you, as some of us out there have such a strong attachment and connection to these parasites that the very thought that they may not love us can hurt us on a massive level.
Narcissists love things about us that make them look good or make them happy.
Narcissists love what we can do for them and how we can make their lives better.
Gold diggers and Sugar babies sure do love their sugar daddy for giving them all the finer things in life.
That expensive purse and closet of over 100 shoes are all things that will make these ladies love a guy.
Narcissists love what we can do for them, but they will never LOVE US for who we are as individuals.
Do Narcissists Love?
There are many of us out there who are in a relationship with a narcissist.
And sadly for some of us, we are holding on to this idea that if we are tough on the narcissist, they will change for the better.
Many of us have this Hollywood romantic, naive idea that all these narcissistic trolls need is someone to see the good in them.
All that the 30+-year-old man needs is a strong woman to push the 30+-year-old Manchild in the right direction, and he will just wake up and see what an amazing woman he has by his side.
And that realization will just happen spontaneously. He will only, because of the overwhelmingly motherly love…umm…romantic love you give to him, will stop sitting on the couch and start a career.
Because of love!
I mean, Hollywood, a place full of pedophiles, nutjobs, and narcissists, wouldn’t dare lie to the populace and continue to perpetuate an ideology that has caused millions of people to waste their lives away in a relationship that was not going anywhere GOOD!
Many of us have been fooled and duped into believing that love can change everything for the better!
In reality, this tough love that we are giving to the narcissist or even this “understanding love” is getting many of us NOWHERE.
All it is doing is robbing you of your life and robbing you of a happier and healthy relationship.
Can A Narcissist Tell You They Love You?
Absolutely! They will tell you that they love you but only so they can get what they want. In their minds, they think that flattering other is a way of getting over on someone.
They see flattery and sentiments as a means to get us to do what they want.
When they say “I Love You,” what you really are receiving from the I love you from a narcissist:
“I love how much money you have.”
“I love how you let me live with you rent-free.”
“Oh! I love how you take care of me. I’m your “BABY.” Goo-goo Gaa-gaa!”
“I love how you make me look in front of strangers.”
“I love how other people envy me because I am with you.”
Can A Narcissist Have A Soulmate?
Yes, they can. But with an EMPATH, NO!
This idea of all that these devils need is an angel to see the good in them will destroy your life. And it has done so for so many people.
They have a soul mate in another narcissistic sociopath that they come into contact with.
And when these two get together, the havoc they unleash on their kids.
Narcissist And New Love
Now, I know that you may think that if a narcissist has discarded you and that they are in a new relationship, that they seem to love the new supply.
They are treating them so much better than they did you!
And it would appear as if they are capable of love.
So what was it about you that they didn’t feel a need to give this love?
The narcissist knows that you are watching them, and they are treating the new supply so wonderful because they know you are watching.
It is like cutting your leg open and pouring salt and lemon juice into it.
They just like torturing you, and they do this by emotionally torturing you.
They are treating the new supply the same way you treated them, and not only that, they are telling the new supply how crazy you were.
Hurting you is what they love. These nutjobs love that they can hurt us so easily without having even to touch us.
They don’t care about the new supply; they care that you care that they may care about the new supply, and thus they will lavish the new supply with so much love.
What Makes A Narcissist Change
It is very important to know that narcissism and NPD are to separate things that have somehow been muddied into one category.
NPD is a personality trait that CAN POTENTIALLY be treated. Some people with NPD, with therapy, have been able to change and see that their way of thinking is wrong.
However, narcissism is a characteristic trait that someone has, of their own volition, picked up and decided to roll with it.
These people will not change because it is who they CHOOSE to be. And if being an assw!pe is getting you what you want in your life, why change.
Now, I am not saying this to get your hopes up about therapy and them changing because of it.
There is a possibility they can change.
But there is also a possibility you can survive a 33,000-foot drop from a plane.
I doubt you try and test that hypothesis. So why do the same with a toxic narcissistic partner?
Stop Trying To Change The Narcissist & Stop Trying To Get Them To Love You
There are so many SANE, MATURE, RATIONAL, and GOOD people who will love you the same way you love them.
Will it be easy to find them? No.
But that is what makes them special.
If everyone you came across in life were fantastic honest good-hearted people, then when you do land a person you love, they won’t be as special.
The nasty people in life make the good people we meet and end up in relationships that are magical and wonderful.
The love that you want the narcissist to give to you, you can give to yourself. Never give up who you are and never lose who you are in the pursuit of having someone love you.
That is a gamble that is not worth playing.
No Shame In Therapy
Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology.
In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.
The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger.
When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in.
Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do.
Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.
Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side.