7 Ways to Be The Best Of You After Being With A Narcissist
After being in a relationship with the living embodiment cesspools that are known as “narcissists,” many of us LOSE vision of who we are. So contaminated by the toxic mentality that narcissist has spewed on us, we no longer can see ourselves or our life as anything better than what it currently is.
And to me, this is a grave tragedy.
Giving up on who we are, on what we wanted to be, and what we strived to be while being with the narcissist, only makes them happy.
Destroying dreams, goals, achievements of others is orgasmic to them.
Because these people WILL NEVER achieve anything significant, they feel — NO, they NEED to sabotage as many people as possible.
The best revenge that one can ever do after a narcissist has damaged them is to work on yourself.
Become so obsessed with becoming everything they didn’t want you to become.
And not only that, become someone they NEVER even though you were trying to be.
Giving in into teh sadness, the depression, the nihilism, the self-pity is what these creatures do.
They have given up on life, and they want everyone else around them to give up as well.
You must use this hatred, anger, shame, humiliation, pain as your fuel to NEVER AGAIN be hurt, used, mistreated, weak, or NAIVE ever again.
They came to destroy you…I am here to help rebuild you.
So, take my hand as I go through the 7 things you should start focusing on to become your best version.
NEVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF.
Disclaimer: This article includes affiliate links to which I may receive a commission
7 Ways to Become Your Best Version Of Yourself After Being With A Narcissist
1 – Work On Your Mental Health: Become Mentally Tough
This is perhaps the most important thing you will need to cultivate in becoming your best version. After leaving a narcissist, the thoughts, the legion fo negative thoughts we have daily are overwhelming.
So consumed with what they did to us, how long we stayed, how much we put up with and just feeling as if we were foolish for even daring to love them, it can be challenging to move on.
Cultivating a strong mind is not easy.
But it is possible.
One of the methods that I use, along with many other people, to grow my mental toughness is reading books.
Reading books on mental toughness can give you a different perspective for things that may have happened to you. But more importantly, reading autobiographies will also show you that you are not the only one who was used, hurt, and mistreated.
Almost every successful person you can think of has been made a fool at some time.
But what they did was use their anger and the “lesson” (because that what it is) that was learned to become better.
They transformed that negative situation into a positive situation that helped them to grow and become better.
I highly recommend that you give “Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder” a read.
Just as human bones get stronger when subjected to stress and tension, and rumors or riots intensify when someone tries to repress them, many things in life benefit from stress, disorder, volatility, and turmoil. What Taleb has identified and calls “antifragile” is the category of things that not only gain from chaos but need it in order to survive and flourish.
Learning to not only be strong enough to deal with a negative situation but actively seeking things that will make you mentally tougher. This is the hallmark of what it means to be antifragile.
2 – Speak With A Therapist: Ways to Become Your Best Version Of Yourself
I hear many people ask, “what is talking to a therapist going to do? What is it going to let out?”
Your hurt and pain.
Most people keep that hurt shame, anger, resentment, humiliation, and any other negative emotion we can contribute to the narcissist, inside them.
They let it bottle up inside them.
And like a soda bottle that is shaken, all it takes is one prick or a light opening of the cap to make them explode.
Just take the case of Battered Person Syndrome, where women or partners (their partner can abuse both men and women) get so fed up with being abused that they kill their partner.
The idea of seeking revenge after being with a narcissist can be all-consuming. So much so that it drives people to actually take revenge and do things that make them end their lives.
Therapy and I am not saying it is the end all be all, can help massively for those who are severely depressed and confused.
We know this is evident, as you are reading this article to gain a different perspective. You may even be part of support groups.
The idea of speaking with a therapist should not be frowned down upon or overlooked.
If you are struggling with depression, anxiety, paranoia, or any other mental, psychological, or emotional issue, I highly recommend that you speak with a therapist.
Let that hurt out.
Don’t keep it inside because it will eat you away.
Sign up here to speak with a therapist online at Therapy Online. With the link provided, you get 20% your first month.
3 – Work On Building Your Own Business: Become Self-Reliant
Learning to become your boss is beneficial on so many levels. Financial abuse is a thing. This is what keeps so many people in these toxic relationships.
And although I don’t necessarily like this reason as it only gives people an excuse to STAY LONGER, it is a reason.
However, there are also many ways to become financially liberated.
The online makes it possible for anyone who wants to become their own boss the chance to do so.
The fact that you are reading this article is proof enough that you have a chance to earn money online.
You can make money from a blog, from selling things online. Or you can help people with their online business as an assistant.
There are so many ways to earn money online.
If you want to learn how to earn money online, then check out the links below:
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4 – Join Support Groups To Keep You Motivated
After being with a narcissist, many of us are bruised, battered, and beaten on all levels.
The need to connect with others who UNDERSTAND where you are coming from is necessary.
If you need a group to support you, feel free to check out my forum.
You need not stand alone.
5 – Get Back In Shape or In Better Shape: Ways to Become Your Best Version Of Yourself
Looks are not everything. But they sure as hell can BOOST your confidence.
Nothing hurts a narcissist like seeing you in good shape, living life, and healthy again.
They came in your life to destroy you and make you worse.
Getting back in shape will do wonders for your self-esteem.
Check out the very popular Cinderella Solution Program.
6 – Learn To FORGIVE Yourself For Being Human: Ways to Become Your Best Version Of Yourself
You have to learn to see yourself as your own child; especially if you are a child of narcissistic parents.
Learning to forgive yourself for making mistakes, as HUMAN BEINGS DO, will help you on a massive level.
Check out my article “Learn To Stop Judging Yourself: You Are Only Human“
7 – Look For Love Again: Ways to Become Your Best Version Of Yourself
Don’t give up on love.
Never give up on love.
I want you to imagine spending the last few years of your life, not being in a relationship with someone.
This is precisely what the narcissists want. This is why they tried to damage you so severely.
In their sked minds, if they damage you, NOBODY WILL WANT YOU. And thus you will be forced to go back to them.
They want you to need them.
I promise you that if you work on yourself and mingle with other OPEN-MINDED and successful and happy people, YOU WILL MEET SOMEONE.
Never give up on love.