Become Someone Who Needs NO ONE!
We were born ALONE, and we will die alone. Everything else in the middle of these most extreme experiences that give us the impression we are not alone is just an illusion.
This may be a harsh statement and something hard for many people to swallow…however; this is not meant to be harsh, but more so empowering and uplifting.
The idea of needing others in your life is a crutch and often an addiction for many people.
This is especially true with narcissistic people. I have often said these people are not too dissimilar to addicts.
The narc’s intense need and desire to have others in their lives is what makes them behave so irrationally.
The lies they spread, the rumors they throw out there, the smear campaign to damage your image, and the attacks against us are all signs of a person who is DESPERATE for our attention.
Listen and understand this. You have to become a person who needs no one in life, and here is why?
Become Someone Who Needs NO ONE!
Now, I know for many people, hearing something like this is deemed as arrogant or snobbish.
We are social creatures, after all!
Many of us thrive on relationships.
Relationships are fundamental to our livelihood and our well-being (psychologically, emotionally, and even physically).
But it is precisely for this reason that we must learn how not to need others.
Think about this for a second.
Being discarded, for many people makes them sick. Not being acknowledged or being ignored causes people pain.
There have been brain scans that have showed that people being ignored have the same areas in their brain light up where the sensation of pain can be found.
Being rejected lights up the area of the brain where people who have experienced being burned are located.
This is why when I guy asks a girl out, and she says, “No thanks” or “Not interested” have his guys say to him, “YOU GOT BURNED.”
We literally feel pain when we want others in our lives, or when they deny us.
Much of the pain we experience in life is self-inflicted.
When You Need No One You Become Happier Stronger and More Appealing
Successful and happy people are people who can deal with being rejected. They can handle being ignored. They don’t get upset when others don’t want their business or company.
Many successful actors, people in business, entrepreneurs are people who have learned how not to get offended by others not wanting them in their lives.
They build their brand, and then people start to come.
When you show the world that you don’t need them, they start behaving differently.
People are a capricious lot.
If you shower them with attention and love, they take you for granted.
When you show them you can live without them, then they start behaving differently.
Show a narc that you can live without them, and this will make them question their worth.
NOTE: This is NOT a tactic to get the narc to come back. If they have discarded you…STAY DISCARDED. You will GAIN nothing from going back to them.
The overall message that I am trying to express is that when you need NO ONE in your life but yourself to make you happy, healthy, and prosperous, you will notice how differently people behave around you.
When people KNOW you need them, they will treat you like crap.
But once you show them that they are REPLACEABLE, their tune will change.
Short Story Of Mines: Become Someone Who Needs NO ONE
I have met many people who have done everything in my life to make me NEED THEM.
“I can help you get money by doing this. Just listen to me”
“Young man! I can help you get this project or assignment. Follow MY lead!”
“Hey! Stick with me, and I can show you things.”
“Just listen to me, and you can go places.”
I had one job where I had worked for about a month or two. Not a hard job, and back during my younger years, where I was washing dishes.
Not a hard job at all.
I washed the dishes, took the garbage out, helped the cooks, and even helped the waiters.
When I do a job, I try to do the very best I can.
As I look back now with more open eyes, the boss was a covert narc and would get in my case over the simplest things.
Very petty issues to try and instill in me doubts about my work ethic.
So it came to my last day, where I had already saved up all the money I needed to move on (he didn’t know that though) where he took me outside to chat.
Covert Narc Boss: “Hey…um…(My Real Name). Things just aren’t working out with you here. You’re just not a good fit for US.”
Me: Sure! Okay. No dramas. I understand.
Covert Narc Boss: Yeah! You just don’t seem like you want to be here with us!
Me: Hey! Sure, No problem. I understand.
Covert Narc Boss: You just seem like you don’t want to do the job.
Me: Hey! I understand. I don’t want to waste your time or money. I’m not doing the job correctly then it makes sense to get rid of me. No hard feelings!
Covert Narc Boss: (LOOK OF CONFUSION) “You…you seem…OKAY with this!
Me: It’s just a job and I can always find another one. And besides I will just waste YOUR money if I stay and not do the job correctly.
Covert Narc Boss: (Grits his teeth) O…O…Okay! Than…Thanks for your time here.
Me: (In my mind- HAHAHAHAHAHA! I DON’T NEED YOU) Sure! No problem. All the best to you.
Narcs Want Us To Need Them
Stop chasing after the narc trying to get them to understand how they hurt you.
By telling them they hurt you, you do exactly what they want.
It is like music to their ears to know they were able to hurt you.
They love knowing that others need them.
Once you show them, you do not need them, that is like a smack in the face to them.
It shows them they are NOT IMPORTANT and that you can replace them like a roll of tissue paper.
Learn not to need others in your life, and your life will be a heck of a lot more comfortable.
Struggling With C-PTSD?
I often say that living with a narcissist is like living in a war zone! This comparison may very well seem hyperbolic, but research has shown that living around narcissists can have the same effects on a person’s mind as people living in a war zone!
I wrote an article describing the “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With Narcissists“.
These people are monsters, plain and simple.
If you are struggling with emotional flashbacks, dealing with mental and emotional battles that NO ONE but yourself seems to see and feel, and if you find it hard to get out of bed every day, you may be dealing with C-PTSD.
As great as support groups may be, or as profound as articles can be, they are no substitute for professional help.
Sometimes the best way to heal and move forward is with therapy.
Speaking with someone and getting the hurt off your chest is a great way to unload.
Online Therapy is a site that offers visitors the chance to speak with professional therapists who will be able to help you get through your emotional and psychological battles.
If you sign up with my link, you can get 20% off your first month’s session.