“Why do they stay if the person treats them so badly?” This is a question that many people in society ask? Nobody likes abuse. Nobody likes being treated badly.
And nobody likes having their value constantly lowered at every possibility. Battered Person Syndrome is one of the main reasons why so many people…stay!
And when a psyche is broken a person literally cannot see a way out. They feel…trapped. But most of all they feel…BROKEN.
And this is exactly what the narcissists want their victims to feel like.
For this reason, it is important to educate yourself as well as spread awareness as much as possible. Battered person syndrome is not a foolish person staying in a toxic relationship. It is a person who has been broken and who can no longer see a way out.
What Is Battered Person Syndrome?
To quote Healthline:
“With battered woman syndrome, a woman may develop a learned helplessness that causes her to believe she deserves the abuse and that she can’t get away from it. In many cases, it’s why women don’t report their abuse to police or avoid telling friends and family what’s really going on.”
This term is also widely known as “Battered Woman Syndrome”.
There are four stages that many of the victims go through. These four stages being:
1 – Denial: a person will deny what is going on. Mostly by giving their narcissist the “benefit of the doubt”. “They didn’t really mean to”, is something that they often say.
2 – Guilt: looking through the lens of the narcissist’s “narc logic” they believe that the abuse they receive is…JUSTIFIABLE.
3 – Enlightenment: This is the awakening stage. The victim, much like Neo from the Matrix, starts to see that the world they are living in is wrong.
4 – Responsibility: In this stage, the abused looks at the abuser and know they are the ones to blame. Not them.
How Does The Abuse Start?
The abuse begins when the narcissist starts their love-bombing attack. They place their victims in a state of heaven. Meaning they appear to be everything that they think a person wants. Now that the person has fallen into their illusionary world they allow certain things to happen.
Such as short temper tantrums.
The beginning of gaslighting.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You are imagining things.”
“Everyone thinks you are weird.”
The narcissist may hold their new victim hostage through monetary means. Meaning that they don’t want them to have a job, connect with family, or be independent in ANY way.
The reason for this being is because they don’t want their victims to leave.
What Are The Effects?
The short term and long-term effects are:
- lowered self-esteem
- Massive headaches
Ways To Combat These Negative Effects
The benefits of therapy are numerous. I wrote an article (read here) outlining all the reasons why you may want to consider therapy.
But if you cannot afford therapy then NO CONTACT is one way to start your healing. Meditation has profound benefits for your psychological well-being. Finding new friends also has a profound impact on COMBATTING DEPRESSION.
But the most important thing is to DISTANCE YOURSELF from these creatures.
If you find it hard because of financial reasons, check out my article “Financial Abuse is Abuse“. I give several means to how you can become financially liberated.
Learn, each day, how to take back your life.