Narcissists Have Excessive Attention Seeking Behavior
So, before I begin, allow me to address the title and make it very clear that I AM NOT ATTACKING or coming off aggressively.
Although I know the title might suggest that.
I have often called narcissist kidults, and I honestly believe they are.
Heck, in this article, I will show you scientific proof that backs up this claim.
But aside from being kidults, narcissists are also “Attention whores.”
These people need attention, but more than anything else, these people need DRAMA.
They feed on drama as a parasite feeds on a host.
FYI, I also consider them to be parasites.
Check out my article, “Narcissists are Parasites.”
I know they may appear to have a great life after leaving you, and they may appear to be happier with their new partner…but most likely, ore than not, this is all an illusion.
Much like the personal illusion, they pretended to be when you first met.
There is nothing to gain by staying in these people’s lives. There is nothing you can do to get them to act reasonably.
They are beyond saving, beyond helping, beyond reasoning with.
For those of you are struggling with leaving your narcissist and feel like they are getting away with all the drama and hurt they did to you.
By engaging with them, you are giving them what they want.
Narcissists Have Excessive Attention Seeking Behavior
Seeking attention is something we all do. We are social animals, after all. We need the attention and the connection with others.
I think many of us, those of us who have had the unfortunate experiencing dealing with a narcissist, can attest to how batshit insane they become when they are no longer given attention.
Just the sheer act of not caring, or what they perceive as you ignoring them, makes them erupt as if they are somewhat lunatics.
The developing brain observes its environment and wires itself accordingly to survive in that world that it presumes will be like those experiences. Newborns are extremely dependent on getting their mother’s attention for survival. The more their needs are neglected during early development, the more the child equates getting attention with survival and safety. In turn, the more he or she develops the belief system that it is necessary to go to whatever lengths to get attention. – Psychology Today
I have often seen this play out for myself, the act of not giving narcissists attention.
First, they spread rumors and gossip about me, and when I don’t react or give attention, they will then proceed to be kind.
They try and hoover me, and when they see I can’t be hoovered, they then behave nasty again.
I have had narcs try and fight me and even run into me with their cars.
These people will do anything when they feel they are not getting attention.
Like an addict who needs their fix, narcissists will do some of the most batshit things you can think of.
Narcissists And Their Kidult Excessive Attention Needs Brain Wiring
If you have ever tried reasoning with a narcissist once they have entered their tantrum episodes, you know there is no reasoning with them.
Brains wired to equate lack of attention as dangerous, naturally respond to it as a threat in the amygdala, a subcortical structure, where thinking does not occur. – Psychology Today
Narcissists view NOT giving them attention as a form of an attack. They genuinely believe that you are trying to hurt them. And for some of these people, they feel pain when you give them no attention.
Check out my article, “HOW TO HURT A NARCISSIST AND GET AWAY WITH IT,” in this article, I explain, with proof, what ignoring does to a person.
It sparks up the same areas of the brain where the pain is located.
Because the brain structure of narcissists are not as fined tuned as they should be, attacking them, lashing out at them, hating them, wanting revenge are all pleasurable for them.
Because they are getting attention.
If You Want To Get Back At The Narcissists Leave Them: Attention Seeking Behavior
If you want to get back at narcissists for hurting you, just leave them.
No Contact works. Ghosting works. Living happily without them in your life works.
Forgetting about them…WORKS.
They, like the parasitic vampires they are, need attention. Without it, they cannot survive.
When you focus on developing yourself and truly forget them, believe me…you are winning.
Don’t play their fatuous games.
Be the adult.
Be the sane person.
And be the better person and just move on.
This will kill the minds of these attention whores.
No Shame In Therapy
Narcissistic people can do a wonder on someone’s mind and psychology.
In fact, I wrote an article called “10+ Mental Illnesses Caused By Staying With A Narcissists“.
The narcissists and their legion of fools can slowly drive you insane. And sometimes the best help you can ever receive is from a stranger.
When everyone around you is trying to convince you that YOU are the bad person, sometimes an objective view of you from someone you don’t know maybe what saves you from drowning in the sea of insanity the narc and their legion of fools try and drown you in.
Therapy can help heal in ways that reading blogs, listening to videos, and talking with other WARRIORS (we are not survivors, we are warriors) can ever do.
Join my Facebook Fan Page “No Shame In Therapy” to get a 20% discount on your first-month session, as well as articles and updates on the benefits of therapy.
Narcs have a legion of fools behind them to hurt you, I think it would be a good thing to build your own army of warriors and allies to help stand by your side.