Narcissists get a kick out of devaluing a person, and the reasons derive from how they feel about themselves.
For those of us who have been in a relationship with a narcissist, it is not uncommon for many of us to feel like we were nothing to them.
We can feel like we were expendable.
When we are feeling devalued by the narcissists what that does to them is boosts their ego.
Narcissists have a fantastic ability to make us feel as if we are less than. And they do this in many ways.
What Is The Meaning Of Devalue?
In the context of a narcissistic relationship, devaluation in psychology means to make feel worthless or not good enough.
Why Do Narcissists Devalue You?
There are several reasons why a narcissist would devalue a person.
Examples of devaluing a person:
- gaslighting us (denying our reality)
- projecting on us (they will do wrong and THINK we are doing the same thing)
- blame shifting (everything that they do wrong, is our fault)
- invalidating our pain
- ignoring our messages
- telling us how worthless we are
- etc. (the list can go on)
Narcissists are irrational people, and in their twisted minds, somehow, can be passed on to us when we stay with them for long periods of time.
Developing mental illnesses because of these people is not uncommon.
Narcissists are a plague, and the longer you stay around them, the sicker you get and become.
Stay around them too long, and you can wind up being them; a broken empath is a narcissist’s greatest invention.
Devaluation with a narcissist is always apart of the relationship.
Once we stop seeing our worth and start feeling devalued we give the narcissist so much power.
In this article, I want to explain what is devalue in a narcissistic relationship, why the narcissist likes devaluing a person, and what you can do to stop feeling devalued.
Disclaimer: This article may include affiliate links.
The Narcissists Devalues Us Because
I want you to imagine this for a second. A man walking into a pawn shop with a very rare antique. This rare antique cannot be found anywhere else in the world.
The man that comes into his shop, however, is in desperate need of money. He needs resources to build his Engine steam; E-Steam (hint- hint).
The pawnshop owner, seeing the value in the antique — and NOT wanting this guy to go elsewhere, proceeds to point out all the flaws in the antique.
He tells the guy that “it is in bad shape, but from the kindness of my heart, I will give you such and such. If you go elsewhere, they will pay you LESS. What I am giving you…this is A LOT. You should appreciate it.”
The guy not understanding the real value of his Engine steam (E-Steam) gives in to the pawn owner and gets far less than he would have had he went elsewhere.
They Devalue Us Because They Don’t Want Us To Know Our Value
Understand this; narcissists are like the pawnshop owner.
They don’t want you to know your worth because once we know our worth we will leave them and go someplace where our worth will be appreciated.
Quick note: Appreciation also means to increase in value (definition number 3 of the term). Hence is why they never want you to go out with others (having friends, or even family, visit you)
To them, to lose us is truly a loss. And not an emotional loss but just a materialistic loss.
Know that these people do not see us as humans but as objects; hence is why they treat us the way they do.
They see us as tools, toys, items for their own pleasure.
The toy analogy is such a powerful analogy because narcissists are kidults. They are kids in adult bodies.
And much like a kid is scared to lose their toys or games, so too are narcissists scared to lose us.
If you are dealing with a narcissist who devalues you and you want revenge…the best thing to do is to LEAVE THEM and GO NO CONTACT.
You get back your worth, and you take from them something they secretly find very valuable.
Feeling Devalued & What You Can Do To Stop Feeling Devalued
What you can do to stop feeling devalued in the present and future relationships is to start setting up boundaries.
Setting up boundaries and knowing what YOU WILL NOT TOLERATE for people is a great way to stop the devaluing in its track.
Narcissistic people can do a wonder on a person’s mind and emotional well-being.
If you feel like you cannot cope because the psychological abuse has weighed so heavy on your mind and has left you crippled, reach out to a therapist.
As much as my blog may be enlightening, nothing beats professional help.
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